Time to Heal
by MissWritingStoriesObsessed
Summary: Andrea felt lost, she didn't know what to do or even think at this point. Mike is the same. But maybe together they could find a way to get through this and convince each other that healing takes time. (Complete)
1. Chapter 1

**Time to heal.**

Hello!

I am not 100% sure if this will go anywhere, but if you guys like it then I think that maybe I could turn this into a multi-chapter story!

It's more Mike and Andrea as I have grown to ship them a lot! If this is a one shot, then it's more friendship, but if it turns into a multi-chapter then I plan on having it grow into a relationship.

This is completely un beta'd, so I apologise for any mistakes, if anyone feels they can help me out, then let me know!

-Andrea felt lost, she didn't know what to do or even think at this point. Mike is the same. But maybe together they could find a way to get through this and convince each other that healing takes time.

Enjoy!  
 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

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Andrea knew a hundred showers would not make her feel clean. She'd just spent days in the jungle fighting for her own life as well as those of her fellow crew. The first thing she did when she got back on the Nathan James was shower. She knew the first thing she'd do when she got back to her cabin after eating would be shower. She knew on the outside, her body, that was clean, but it was her mind, the images that flashed before her eyes when she walked through the passageways alone. That was what she wanted to get rid of. She wanted to feel clean both physically and mentally.

Admittedly, she just wanted to wake up. She wanted so badly to open her eyes and see her room back on the naval base, she wanted to reach out and feel her husband asleep next to her. Andrea wanted to get up and walk through the halls of her home until she reached her daughter's room, she wanted to find Lily sound asleep surrounded by all her stuffed toys.

Andrea, much like everyone else, she assumed, wanted all of this to be a bad dream.

She snapped out of her thoughts when food was placed in front of her. As much as she knew she had to eat, and part of her wanted to, she just couldn't move. The sound of the young sailor across from her crying made it hard for any of them move.

She opened her mouth a few times to speak, but nothing came out. She had no idea what to say, or even what to think. They'd all been through so much, they'd lost almost everything, there was nothing anyone could say that would make the situation any better. The only 'happy' thought Andrea could come up with was that they were back on the Nathan James but that was all she had. She had no promises to give out. She would be lying if she said things would get better. People had died. People would keep on dying. They would remain at sea until someone came up with a plan. There was nothing at all she could say, do or think of that would make anything better anymore.

Her train of thought brought tears to her eyes. Tears of pure frustration as she excused herself from the table. Pushing her chair back, she moved out of the room quickly before letting a few stray tears fall. Instead of going straight to her room, she went the in the opposite direction, heading for the Captains room. Andrea didn't know what she needed to hear, or if she needed to hear anything, or if she just wanted someone to listen, but she kept on walking.

Mike, much like her, probably had no clue on what to do now. What to say, what to think, but if she could get him to admit that, she wouldn't feel so bad about it all.

Arriving outside of Mike's room, she wondered if now would be the right time. She caught a glimpse of him whilst she was sat in the mess hall, but he was gone within a minute or two. Knocking on the door she held her breath until she heard him call her in.

Opening the door Andrea stepped into the room without looking up from the floor. Closing the door behind her she quietly moved to stand in front of the captain's desk.

"XO, what can I do for you?" Mike asked, only looking up from his paperwork briefly. Andrea was silence for a minute. What could he do for her? Why was she even here?

"Andrea?" It sounded so odd to hear her name spoken from his mouth.

"I, I'm sorry, sir. I don't know what I was expecting." Mike gave her a small smile before standing up, gesturing to the general direction of the couch.

"Sit down, I'll grab you some coffee." Andrea waited a moment, she didn't know what for. Maybe it was permission?

When she finally sat down, she was still at a loss. She had no explanation as to why she was even in Mike's room, but she was, and she would just have to go along with whatever her brain gave her to say.

Andrea gave a small, yet forced smile when Mike handed her a cup of coffee.

"Thank you, sir." Mike shook his head.

"I think you've earnt the right to call me Mike," Although Mike liked the authority, there was a time and a place, and this was personal. Plus, he and Andrea had been held hostage together, so he felt as though he could say he'd seen her at her worst.

"I saw you in the mess hall, I just wanted to see how you were holding up…" Andrea struggled with her words. She wanted so badly to put on her work persona, but it was too much effort.

"I didn't know what to say. Tom was always so good at boosting everyone's spirits, he was always so good with speeches, I guess I don't have that in me." Mike said with a light chuckle.

"I just feel as though I want to wake up," Andrea admitted.

Mike rarely saw her like this, there had been moments between them when Andrea had found out about her husband and daughter, a few moments when Mike saw her as the loving wife and mother, but it was rare and the moment was over within minutes and her hardened work persona was put back on before he could ask if she was okay.

"That's nothing to be ashamed about. I think we all want this to be over. I keep thinking that one day I'll wake up and we'll be on our way back from the Arctic, heading home." Mike felt his throat go tight as he tried to explain.

As much as he wanted to open up and vent, he knew Andrea had come to him for some kind of support, what use would he be if he started to break down now?

After a moment, Mike reached out to take Andrea's hand, which they both knew was out of character, so much so, that it caused Andrea to look at him with confusion, but Mike ignored it.

"We're all going to need time to heal."

"I know."

"I just want you to know I'll be there for you, Andrea." Mike gave her hand a small squeeze.

Andrea didn't know what she needed to hear, but Mike's words would help her sleep a little better later.

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Thank you so much for reading, please let me know what you think! Bethany.


	2. Chapter 2

**Time to heal – Part 2.**

Hello, back with part two! I hope this is a good as part one, and that you enjoy!

Just a quick note, I am awful with timelines and all of that, so, a little explanation as to the roles, Andrea, although XO is still spending a lot of time in the Engine room and I am chalking that up to the CNO being on the ship, and Mike is still captain, but it's more like season one with him and Tom being the top two. I hope that's okay for everyone!

Reviews are loved and appreciated. Thank you to all who reviewed the first chapter.

Enjoy.

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

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Andrea had spent each night after her talk with Mike in his cabin. Sometimes they would discuss other sailors, sometimes it would be the ship and once or twice the two just sat in silence. Whatever they did, they just wanted company. Company and someone who understood the pain and anger whenever it came up.

Tonight, was no different. Tom had offered to stay on the bridge, although both Andrea and Mike assumed that had more to do with the fact he couldn't sleep, than letting both Mike and Andrea have the night off.

"What do you think we're going home to?" It was Mike who asked, which seemed odd.

Andrea looked up from the Engine Room Status report and shrugged. What was she supposed to say? She couldn't even call it home anymore. There was nothing homely about the Naval Base, or even about the US.

"I'm not sure I could even call it home. I think we're heading back to a lot of issues that are going to need fixing, the biggest one being the government, and then the military, if that even exists anymore." Andrea couldn't even begin to think of anything positive.

"Well, we know we have a government, how long it will stay that way, I don't know. As for the military, I guess with some work we could always live on the ship permanently?" Mike suggested, suddenly feeling the need to add some humour to the situation.

"I wouldn't mind living on the ship. I wouldn't have to worry about putting an outfit together every time I go out." Andrea joked back.

"I would tell you it's not that hard, but I don't think I want to get into an argument over matching colours and why you can't wear boots with skirts." Mike smiled at her looking up from his paperwork.

Andrea couldn't help but laugh, it had been a long time since anyone had said something that made her smile. Mike had insisted on them finally doing some paperwork. As much as it was nice to talk, they still had a ship to run. So, Mike sat at his desk, whilst Andrea took over most of his couch and the coffee table.

"I think I may be with you on that front. To be honest, I never was that way about clothes. I preferred my uniform more." Mike wanted to shoot back some comment about how she looked good in her uniform if he thought about the last few nights they'd spent talking, he was sure some of it was flirting, and he couldn't say it was all one sided. Whether it was a coping mechanism or not, both of them, if Mike thought about it properly, had said things that could, in one way or another, give the other person the wrong idea.

Or the right idea, depending on how they both felt.

"Everything okay?" Andrea's voice brought Mike out of his trance.

"Everything's fine. Although I wish the Master Chief would take some writing classes." Mike picked up a sheet of paper, that in all honestly, he hadn't been reading.

"Would you like me to translate."

"I think I got it, but I may need your help in the future."

"Always happy to help." Andrea smiled. She was happy to help anyone on the ship. They were now her family. She was no longer fighting for her husband and her daughter. The sailors on this ship would now be the ones she fought for, they would become the ones she'd die for in an instant.

"I think you need this. The work, the extra shifts." Mike said after a moment of silence.

Andrea looked up and frowned slightly, before closing the file she had open on her lap

"Well, someone has to order the lads in the engine room around."

"I said we all need some time to heal, but I don't think you, or even I, could just sit around and take some time. We need to work and be busy, so we have less time to think of all we've lost."

"All I've lost. Your girls could still be out there."

"Do you think they'll still want me if they are?" Mike asked all too quickly.

Andrea moved the folder from her lap and stood up, taking the few steps towards Mike's desk, moving around the side of it so she was almost in front of him.

"I can't speak for Christine, but your daughters, they are still going to need you. Every girl needs their father, and they've been through hell, we all have. Of course, they're going to be upset and it may take some time for everyone to get back to some form of normality, but if they're out there, beneath whatever anger they feel towards you, they're still going to need and love you, Mike." Andrea's voice was quiet as she spoke, and Mike could feel the tears building. He knew that the talk of him being with his daughter would most likely bring up some jealousy from her. Jealousy that he would and could never judge her on.

"I just hope that if they didn't make it, it wasn't painful in the end, you know?" Andrea nodded. That was her only hope for Bill and Lily, that they went peacefully and that they were together towards the end.

Mike wanted to reach out and take Andrea's hand, it felt so natural to do it, but something stopped him. Maybe it was where they were, or just because of the situation they were in?

In the end, Mike muttered something that sounded like a thank you as he put his work persona back on. Andrea knew that underneath of the 'manliness' Mike was a good guy with a big heart, but she knew that not everyone on the ship needed to know that.

Andrea moved back to the couch and picked up the file she still needed to read.

"So, how come you can't wear boots with a skirt?" Andrea asked in a light tone.

Mike just laughed at her, because for once, he didn't have an answer.

"Lily loves to wear pretty dresses and all these cute little tops, but she never keeps them clean. And I don't think she ever wears cute shoes, she insists on wearing trainers so she can ride her bike or play ball with her friends. Bill and I always used to joke about how she'll be the one at the school dance in a beautiful gown with her sneakers on." Mike couldn't help but notice the slip of the tongue, and just how much it seemed to hurt him. He normally corrected people on things like that, but her couldn't.

Mike Slattery did not have it in him to tell Andrea that Lily _loved_ to wear pretty dresses.

Instead, he changed the subject completely.

"Did you get to the engine report yet? CNO's gonna want an update tomorrow." Mike asked, sitting up properly, shuffling a few papers around his desk, in a hope it would give him so more motivation.

"Yeah…" Andrea began before grabbing the right folder. When she got up to pass it to him their hands touched for only the briefest moment, which, was a normal occurrence, but this was different. Andrea didn't know if it was because of their conversations, or just because she was over thinking it, but there was something there.

In the last few weeks, they'd gotten closer. Andrea had gone to Mike in her time of need and he told her she needed time to heal, although she knew deep down that time would be spent fixing and maintaining the Nathan James. With him.

Maybe that's what made it bearable? Him? He made healing bearable? Or maybe she was just over thinking it?

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Was this as good as part one? Would you like to see a part three? I hope it was an enjoyable read, again, reviews are loved and appreciated. Bethany.


	3. Chapter 3

**Time to heal – Part 3.**

Part 3 is here! I hope this is okay, and that you enjoy it! I'm looking at uploading around Wednesdays or Sundays, but that could all change!  
Not my best work, I feel the characters are a little out of character, hopefully, it won't be too bad.

Reviews are loved and appreciated and thank you so much for the lovely reviews for the earlier chapter. Enjoy!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

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Today was going to be hard. Today, was the day that Andrea should have been home. She should have been making pancakes and brewing coffee and blowing up balloons because today her baby girl was supposed to be celebrating her birthday.

Instead, Andrea was aboard a ship doing maintenance on the fourth engine because for the second time this week it had stopped. Working on the bridge wouldn't have helped. She couldn't stare at the photo of Lily for 12 hours and not break down in tears, so instead, at 3:30 this morning she gave up trying to get any sleep and had been in the engine room ever since.

"How long has she been down here?" She heard Mike's voice behind her but she didn't turn around.

"Since zero four hundred, sir."

"Can you go get a cup of coffee from the officer's lounge, please. Bring it back here, make sure it has lots of sugar in it." Mike ordered.

"Andrea?" Andrea turned to face the captain. Luckily for her, there were only two other engineers, in the room.

"I'm fine, Captain. I knew this day would come and I am coping with it."

"Going eight hours without drinking anything, is not what I would call coping." Andrea smiled a little.

"Sorry, Sir."

"One of them has gone to get you a coffee. Drink it. Then, come and find me when you're done." Andrea nodded, inside she was thankful that she'd get a drink and somewhere to go later other than her cabin, which, had some many reminders of her daughter. On any other day, she would take it, she loved to look at them, to relive the memories in her head, that was partly what go her through her time held hostage, but today, today was harder.

After accepting the drink from the other engineer, she took a five-minute break, stepping out into the passageway, thankful for the cool air coming out of the vents.

What was she doing? God, she needed to pull herself together.

This was her life now, even if she wished each night it wasn't. This was how her life would go. She was no longer a mother or wife, all she was now was a survivor. A woman on a ship.

Her self-talk was interrupted by various sailors changing shift, talking with each other about whatever had happened in the hours previous. A few acknowledged her, the newbies, but the ones who knew her well saw her expression and gave her a short nod, one she didn't return. Even though it was such a small motion, she didn't have the energy.

After another few minutes staring at the wall in front of her and sipping her coffee, she made her way back inside the engine room, hoping that he short break would give her some focus.

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Mike stood on the bridge, staring out to sea, which, he knew seemed so cliché, but it wasn't like there was anything else to do. He supposed he could walk around, check on everyone, but he knew he would either end up in his cabin or be drawn to the engine room.

Andrea.

She seemed to be the one person to get it. Or maybe she was the only person Mike could see? They spent hours talking, going from one topic to the next, switching from professional to personal with ease as they joked about paperwork and whatever else came to mind.

Mike had noticed how close they'd become, and how easy it was. They were both healing and maybe they would never stop, the grief would always be there, but Andrea was the light of hope he needed, despite losing everything herself, she seemed to positive about his family and how things would end for him. He'd only hated it because he knew he couldn't say the same to her. Mike was a strong man, but knowing that Andrea would never get to hold her daughter again nearly broke him.

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Andrea walked back to her cabin after her watch, her eyes trained on the floor as she avoided conversation with others. She was not in the mood. A part of her wanted to crawl into a ball and cry, but the other half just wanted some coffee and some food, which Andrea saw as a good thing since she hadn't really eaten anything in close to two weeks.

Inside her cabin, she pushed the door shut, instantly regretting it as she saw the walls filled with photographs and artworks done by Lily. She felt her eyes water as a sick feeling formed in her stomach.

This was why she didn't want to come back here, this was why she was working.

"I'm so sorry, baby girl." Andrea's whisper was harsh as she spoke to an empty room, tears threatening to fall.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there…" Her voice died out at the end of her sentence, the tears that had threatened to fall just seconds ago were now running down her cheeks as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying desperately to picture her daughter smiling, and not what she thought her lifeless body looked like.

Pushing herself back off the wall she'd leant against she took a deep breath, willing herself to just focus enough to get herself clean and back out of her room so she was no longer surrounded by the memories of the life she'd lost, the people she'd lost.

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Outside of her cabin, she felt as though she could breathe again, but soon after guilt consumed her. Andrea knew it was wrong to want to get away from all of the memories, she knew she should want to be surrounded by them, but she couldn't. Not today.

She began to take the familiar path towards the captain's room, a route that was already imprinted on her brain but had become more common over the last few weeks. Getting to his door, she knocked, not waiting long before he called her in.

"Do you ever leave this room?" Andrea asked once safely inside, making sure he was alone. They'd established that once alone there was no need for formalities.

Mike could tell the moment she spoke that something was wrong. He did wonder how well she would cope with today, this morning he thought she would power through, but seeing her now, in the moment, he realised that wasn't the case. Mike assumed that the joke was a coping mechanism, and he knew that he would play along until she was ready to say what she needed to. He may not be a therapist or even a 'caring' man, but he knew that sometimes it was better just to act like everything was okay, until it wasn't.

"Coffee?" Mike waved his hand in the general direction of the couch as he asked Andrea about coffee.

"Please." Unlike weeks ago, Andrea now sat down without hesitation.

"I gave my report to Walker, he said he'd get it to you," Andrea said, accepting the mug off Mike when he handed it to her.

Mike walked back to his desk sitting down, before holding up the file that one of the sailors had given him.

"We should be okay for a few weeks, although, we need to dock sooner rather than later." Mike nodded in understanding. Andrea said he knew nothing about the engines, but he prided himself on knowing a little bit, or what he called the 'most important stuff.'

The longer they sat there, the more Mike could see Andrea breaking down, bit by bit she would try to make conversation, but they would never get very far. Between failed sentences and sarcastic comments, he could see the tears building.

After a moment of silence, Mike got up and walked round his desk, silently sitting next to Andrea. He didn't care how long he was sat there, he just hoped that by doing so he was giving her a little bit of comfort.

Andrea stood up after a few minutes, giving Mike a small smile.

"I should get back to work, thank you for coffee." Mike took one look at the mug on the table to see she hadn't touched it.

"You should try and rest instead, I am sure everything is fine, one of them will come and find you if there is an issue." Andrea shook her head.

"I'm fine, really, captain." _Captain._ Mike nodded standing up himself, he knew better than to argue with her.

"You know where I am if you need to talk."

Andrea stood still. She willed herself not to cry, not now, not in front of him. He was supposed to be helping her heal and deal with all the grief she felt, not see her break down in floods of tears.

"Crying is a part of healing," Mike told her. He'd cried, he'd cried for days, he'd punched walls, gotten angry and then cried a hell of a lot more, and he wanted Andrea to know that it was okay.

"I miss her so much. I should have been there, I should have been there to hold her, so she wasn't scared. She must have been so scared." Andrea said, her voice breaking. Turning back around she clenched her fists, now angry at herself.

"What kind of mother isn't there for her kids?" Mike didn't have an answer, he wasn't sure he ever would. Instead, he moved towards her, pulling her into a hug, his work persona gone as the held her tight and let her cry into his chest.

Mike would never have the words that would make this better. He doubted anyone would.

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Was this okay? Please let me know! Thank you for reading, Bethany.


	4. Chapter 4

**Time to Heal – Part 4.**

I will admit, this was a challenge, and I got a little lost towards the end, but I hope it turned out alright! Thank you so, so much for all the lovely reviews on earlier chapters! I do feel like because this was a challenge I re-read this over a hundred times, so if you do spot any mistakes they are all mine and I am sorry!

Reviews are loved and appreciated! Enjoy.

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

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Weeks passed and still, Mike and Andrea kept to the same routine, using each other to lean on when they needed someone to listen. However, this week was different. Mike seemed different, and although Andrea didn't want to question it, she knew at some point she would have to. He'd spent weeks listening to her go on about her husband and her daughter, listening to her vent and cry, a part of her felt bad because he hadn't done the same.

Andrea found Mike on the landing deck, leaning against the railing, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

"Hey…" Andrea said as she leant against the railings next to him.

Mike turned to see who'd joined him, smiling a little when he saw Andrea stood next to him.

"I love the sea, you know, but hell, it's boring to look at," Mike commented after a moment of silence.

"I get that, but, it beats staring at four blank walls." Again, the two stood in a comfortable silence. Much like Mike did with Andrea a few weeks ago, the redhead stood and waited, maybe Mike would open up, or maybe he would walk away, stating that he was fine, but she knew she would be stood there until he did one or the other.

"So, before we left for the Artic, Christine and I got into the huge fight. The kids were home, and I remember Lucas crying, Amy was trying to calm him down, whilst Katie was screaming at us to stop. It was so pathetic, I don't even remember what started it, but things were said and feelings got hurt. Christine said I'd be lucky if they were there when I got home. I know it's wrong, but I keep wishing they left after Lucas died, I keep hoping that she kept her word, that she found somewhere safe to live, and to grieve." Andrea watched him in silence, seeing hurt and sadness written over his face.

"It's good to keep that hope going," Andrea told him after a minute.

"You know what the sickening part is? I'm happy I'm here, I'm happy I am on this ship and I am not there, because…" Mike stopped, taking a deep breath. Andrea wanted so badly to reach out for his hand, but she knew how it would look with so many sailors around.

"Because I know I could do nothing to help them." Mike hated himself for saying it out loud, but he needed to.

Mike shook his head, turning to look at Andrea. He wondered if she would look at him the same way, now. He wondered if he could see himself as the good sailor, or just the man too scared to help his own family.

"We used to fight all the time, mainly about me and this job, she thought I was married to the Navy instead of her. I requested a transfer, this was supposed to be my last tour, it was supposed to be the start of this new relationship, to me being a better father and all it's done is taken my son and torn my world apart. Maybe it's better I don't find them. Maybe I should let them be?" Andrea shook her head.

"Don't think like that, sir. They are going to need you, and you are going to need them. We still don't know what we're going home to, _who_ we are going home to." Mike could only nod. His mind was still replaying various arguments and conversations he'd had with Christine.

"Is it easier knowing?" Mike asked. He turned to face her a little more, trying to read her face, wondering if now was the right time to ask the question. Then he wondered if he cared, simply because he needed to know. He needed to know if it was easier for her if it was easier knowing, and not spending each day wondering if they survived or not.

"Yes. I know that I can grieve, and I know I can begin to move on, and not feel bad about it." Andrea told him quietly.

The two stood in silence once again, but this time Andrea was hoping he'd speak, hoping he'd say something to let her know that he was okay. Andrea could see people approaching out the corner of her eye, and willed them to leave, but instead, they moved closer until they were stood next to them.

"CNO needs to speak with the captain." Andrea nodded despite the fact the message wasn't for her.

"Hang in there," Andrea said as Mike pushed himself off the railing.

"I'll talk to you later." Mike said without looking at her, knowing if he did there was a good chance he would break down even more, and right now he needed to push on and do his job.

* * *

When Mike got back to this room, he pushed the door closed, leaning on it momentarily before he walked over to his desk, turning on the lamp. The lamp cast a dim glow over the room, and with the night sky outside Mike was pleased for the darkness. He began to take off his jacket, glancing over at the stack of reports that still needed to be read. Today had been a tough day, filled with thoughts of his family and how much guilt he felt for not being there. He'd also wondered about Andrea, and how much she'd become a part of his life. They'd spent so much time together, both sharing the pain of missing the people they loved.

However, a part of his brain kept telling him it was wrong. Wrong to keep doing this, the late-night talks, the flirting that seemed to come into every conversation they had. He was the captain of this ship, and he knew anything more than this would be wrong, but he couldn't help it. Andrea had become his safe haven, the one who knew what it was like. The one who didn't judge, who simply listened, and his conversation with her earlier regarding Christine only proved that point more.

A knock at the door made him look up, and before he'd even moved he knew Andrea Garnett would be stood the other side, waiting for him to answer. When he did move to his door and pull it open he saw his XO stood, hands behind her back, waiting for him to invite her in.

Stepping to the side he watched her as she stood in front of his desk.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay." Andrea offered her explanation as to why she was there.

"I'm fine," Mike told her, although it wasn't too convincing. He had a plan in his head to tell her they should stop with all of this, the talks they had, all the late-night paperwork sessions that reminded them both of school and exam season when they were younger, but he took one look at her and realised he needed her.

"Did you want to sit down?" Andrea shook her head and smiled.

"I'm heading back to the engine room, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"You need a hobby." Mike shot back, sitting in his chair, folding his arms over his chest.

"Look, shoot me for overstepping the mark, but, I consider us friends, and today I realised that you still have a chance at happiness, you still have a shot at finding your family and making it work, and I need happiness." Andrea started.

"So, I want you to know that when we get to wherever we're going, I will help you find Christine and the girls." Andrea knew that it would hurt, but Mike still had a chance to find them, and she wanted that for him.

Mike was almost speechless, of course, he considered her a friend, more than a friend if he was honest, but that was something else entirely. Right now, Andrea was so focused on his happiness that she was willing to put herself through emotional hell to help him find his family.

Mike took a breath, smiling at her. There was no way he could stop talking to her, he needed her, maybe more than he would ever care to admit, but he definitely needed her.

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Thank you for reading, how am I doing? Are you still enjoying this? Reviews are loved and appreciated. Bethany.


	5. Chapter 5

**Time to Heal – Part 5.**

This is really a 'filler' chapter, more exploring emotions than anything else, I hope it gives you some more insight into the both of them and how they're feeling!  
I have re read this a few times, but after a while all the words seemed to blur into one, so all mistakes are my own, I'm sorry!

Reviews are loved and appreciated. Enjoy!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

Andrea left Mike's room making her way down to the engine room. Her mind was reeling, replaying what she'd said, wondering if it was the right thing to say or if it was what he wanted to hear.

"Protocol," Andrea muttered to herself as she passed the CNO's room. Stopping momentarily her line of though changed. As she began walking again, this time a little faster, she began to really think about the last few months, she was right, it was him, it was Mike who made it all bearable, it was him who made it easier to get through the day. Was she in love with him? Was she falling?

If she was then, she knew she needed to put space between them, it wasn't just about breaking the rules, it was about her, her heart, and her mind, and how she would cope if he didn't feel the same, she would lose her job, and she knew straight away that between her and Mike, Mike was more capable, if capability even came into it. He was a higher rank, and the closest friend of the CNO, Andrea would be out without a second thought.

But she was falling for him. He was her support system, and she needed that, she needed someone to talk to, someone to listen to her, someone to just be there. They'd broken protocol before, Mike has hugged her, kissed her head, held her hand, of course, it had just been the two of them, but it had still happened.

Getting closer to her destination she tried to change her train of thought, she was getting too far ahead of herself, she was his friend, and his support and that was all, Mike still had a chance to find his family, to be happy, and however much it hurt Andrea to tell him she would help, her life was already over, he still had a shot at getting his back, that's what friends were for, right?

* * *

Mike was still in shock from what Andrea had said. She was willing to help him find his family, and he knew that deep down she would be hurting just by saying the words. It made his heart ache, the thought of losing his family, but what scared him more was the thought of losing Andrea. They'd become so close like they depended on each other. Mike had tried to remember the rules, he'd repeated them over and over in his head, but still, he was finding himself ignoring them. Mike was so set on telling Andrea they should stop seeing each other every day, that they should stop talking, and try and cope alone, but he took one look at her and realised he needed her. He needed Andrea, and he had a feeling that she needed him to.

Mike wanted to find Christine, find his daughters, to make sure they were okay, but he was no longer sure if he loved his wife. Of course, that wasn't all down to Andrea, things were bad before Mike left, but as the world began to fall apart and he lost his little boy, he assumed things would become worse, feelings would change, feelings had changed. His head was a mess, but he had no one to talk to. He thought about speaking to Tom, but Tom lived by the rules religiously, he knew going to him and telling him about how, her was, really falling for his XO, would only cause further issues, and his friendship with Tom was something he didn't want to lose.

Leaning back in his chair, he took another look at his stack of paperwork, he needed to get that done, at least it would take his mind off things for a few hours. After that, he would walk around the ship, go back to the bridge, see what needed to be done, give him some time to sort out his head, get his priorities straight, give him time to answer some important questions.

* * *

"Thanks, lads," Andrea said with a smile as a few of them left. Taking a minute, she began with all her observations as she began to run various tests on the engines. Here, she felt safe, she knew what she was doing, she could fix the ship, she was good at it, it was because of her and her team that the Nathan James wasn't at the bottom of the sea, but she would never say that to anyone. Her mind would sometimes bring up Mike, her feelings towards him, but she shook it off, waiting to focus on the task at hand.

"Ma'am, I've got warning lights for all air compression units." Andrea knew that now, she wouldn't have time to think about Mike as red lights flashed at her from the other side of the room. Sighing she nodded.

She began to give out orders, as she picked up her clipboard, Mike could wait, they would never have a chance at any kind of relationship if she couldn't keep things running smoothly.

* * *

Mike closed another report, still trying to answer the questions that were taking over his mind. He wanted to say, 'rules be damned' he wanted to not care and to just do what felt right, he was so desperate for something good, for something happy. As much as Andrea kept telling him that he still had a shot at happiness, he wasn't sure if she was right or not.

He had a choice, either he went out to try and find his family, or he stayed where he was. Both had pro's and con's both seemed appealing for several reasons. He hated how he felt, how when he thought about it, he was choosing between two women, the one who he married and the one who was helping him survive. He hated himself for it. He should want to save his family, he should want to find them, but the will was slowly becoming less and less. If anything, he just wanted his girls, he wanted his daughters, to hold them, to tell them he loved them.

Should he go and find his family? Run the risk of finding them dead? Run the risk of finding that they no longer want him around? Should he tell Andrea that he's falling for her? Break the rules? Should he be doing anything at all?

Looking at the photo on his desk, he smiled a little, he had to find them, dead or alive, he needed to know.

* * *

Thank you so much for reading, am I still doing a decent job? Reviews are loved and appreciated! Bethany.


	6. Chapter 6

**Time to Heal – Part 6.**

Part 6! I think this chapter turned out okay! I hope you feel the same way. I feel like this is the chapter that feels like 'it's been done before' but I would like to think I made it my own.

I am a little nervous, but more excited about uploading this, so this is why you're getting it a few days earlier than I planned!

Reviews are loved and appreciated, thank you for the reviews on part 5! Enjoy!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.  
**

* * *

Andrea wanted to throw up, the ship had just narrowly avoided the damages of an enemy torpedo. The ship had been turned that many times, most of it at full speed, that instead of heading to debrief with Mike and the CNO she went down to the engine room. The closer they got to docking, the more the Nathan James seemed to give up.

It would have been more appropriate to debrief, but that would also lead to a discussing about going home, and she couldn't take that right now. Both Mike and Tom would be frustrated following the attack, knowing they didn't destroy the ship that fired those weapons, hell, she was frustrated to, but she wasn't about to have a shouting match, so instead she lied and said she needed to check up with the lads in the engine room, and do some checks.

Her mind was spinning, the attack, the thought of dying, the thought of Lily, the thought of forgetting everything. She wanted so much to forget everything. All of the attacks, the lives lost, the hurt and the pain, the sickening silence, mixed with the screams she kept hearing. The cries of other sailors would haunt her for years, she'd never forget the faces of those she watched die.

* * *

Mike paced his cabin, his debrief with Tom finally over. They had to keep heading for land, they needed to get home, that was it, that was the mission. He was waiting on Andrea, he'd sent someone to go and find her, which he knew she would be annoyed at him for, but he needed to see her face, to ask her how she was. He'd told himself to snap out of it, be objective and focus on the task at hand, but all that had done is proved that, yet again, they could have died.

"Come in." Mike said hearing knocking at his door.

"You wanted to see me, Captain."

"How are you holding up?" Mike skipped everything else, just wanting to know how she was. Andrea narrowed her eyes a little, nodding.

"Coping like everyone else, sir." Mike frowned.

"Sir?" He asked, wondering if he should push her, and try to get her to open up.

"The engines can't take much more, the air compression unit is failing, we are having major issues with all of the boilers, we can't keep taking all of these hits and near misses." Andrea sighed.

"And that's my fault?" Mike asked, suddenly anger taking over, controlling his brain.

"I never said that." Andrea shot back.

"It sounds like you're implying it." Mike said, a harsh tone to his voice.

Andrea stopped for a minute, this was getting out of hand, fast. It wasn't his fault, nor was it hers, but she knew if they kept going, there would be some sort of argument and she couldn't cope with that, she couldn't cope with losing him, not now, not after he'd helped her so much, she wasn't ready to cope on her own. Not yet.

"I'm sorry, sir." Andrea said quietly. Andrea's tone of voice made Mike feel like crap, he was just as annoyed as she was. Both knew the ship couldn't take much more, they'd dealt with so many issues and now they were running out of creative solutions.

"It's not your fault. I shouldn't have shouted at you. I just, I don't know how much more we can take." Andrea nodded in agreement and understanding.

"I should go, if that's all, sir?"

"Are you okay, Andrea?" Mike asked after a moment, she was waiting on him to let her leave, but he didn't want her to go. Mike kept replying the conversation they'd had, the one where Andrea told him that she would help him find his family. They hadn't really spoken since then, and Mike wondered if she was having second thoughts, if she offered her assistance in the moment, if it was just her trying to help him, offer him some comfort.

"I'm fine, Mike. I'm just stressed like everyone else. The ship is falling apart, it seems, and everyone is going through their own personal battles." Andrea shrugged, taking a few steps further into his room, folding her arms across her chest, but more for comfort than defence.

"You don't look fine, if you're thinking about what you said to me, about staying true to your word, I understand if you can't. I had a bad day and you helped me through it, I don't expect you to put yourself through hell to me find my family." He saw the change in Andrea's face, the hurt and sadness.

"I want to. I'm going to need something to do once we dock, and if your family is out there, you deserve happiness, you deserve that second chance." Mike took a few steps closer to her, wanting to reach out and hold her hands.

"So, do you."

"Lily's gone, there is no more happiness, no more second chances, I lost everything when I lost her." Andrea admitted with a sad smile, willing herself to not cry, again.

Mike watched her for a moment before pulling her into his arms. God, she killed him, she really did. All he wanted to do was hold her and make her feel better, let her cry in his arms until she felt better, until she felt like she could cope. He kissed her head, and told her it was okay, but he knew that was a lie, she was right, Lily was gone, nothing was ever going to be okay for Andrea.

A moment passed, and Andrea seemed to calm down a little, enough to lift her head from Mike's chest, much like the first time, avoiding eye contact whilst wiping away tears.

"I keep crying and you keep breaking protocol." Andrea said, finally looking up, her eyes all red from crying and her uniform slightly creased from where Mike had hugged her.

"It's okay to cry, really. As for protocol, we're alone, and I won't tell if you won't." He smiled despite his own sadness. It would be wrong to say that hearing Andrea cry and talk about Lily didn't remind him of his own family.

"Thank you…" Andrea said, her voice scratchy and weak.

"You're welcome." Mike replied, lost for words. They were stood so close together, Andrea looked so small and fragile, and Mike only wanted to help her, make the hurt go away, she was suffering so much more than he was.

His train of thought stopped when he felt Andrea's lips on his own, he saw it coming, he saw her move, but it didn't register until seconds ago. It was so natural and so comforting, Mike couldn't help but kiss her back. He resisted the urge to wrap his arms around her, as much as he wanted to, he couldn't. This shouldn't be happening, it would only hurt the both of them more than they already where, but Mike couldn't stop himself.

Andrea pulled back a little, shock covering her face as it then dawned on her that she'd just kissed the captain, she'd just kissed her CO.

"Oh god…" Andrea breathed as she took a few steps back, her mind racing as she tried to form a sentence.

"I am so sorry." Andrea apologised, again stepping back, part of her wanting to run out the door, the other half wanting to kiss him again.

"It's okay. We got caught up in the moment." Mike said, watching her carefully. After a moment Andrea seemed to gain some composure, she stood up straight with her hands behind her back, but Mike could still see her mind was racing.

"I, I just wanted to feel something, I wasn't thinking. I am so sorry, sir." Andrea apologised again, giving a weak explanation, which wasn't a lie, she did want to feel something, she wanted to feel comfort and affection.

Mike stayed quiet for a minute, desperately trying to think of something to say. Andrea was the only person to make him speechless.

"I'm here for you, you know that, don't you? What just happened isn't going to change the fact that I still care."

"I know, sir." And with that Andrea left the room. Mike stood, still in a bit of shock, wondering just how he was going to deal with what had just happened. Could he be with Andrea? Did he love her? Was it just comfort? He moved back to sit on the couch, Andrea had kissed him. The woman whom he'd grown so close to, the woman he was slowly falling for had kissed him, and he had no idea where to go from here.

He was slowly falling for her. Crap. Could he do that? Could he hurt Christine like that? Was she even alive? He wondered if Andrea would talk to him again, he didn't blame her for kissing him.

He wanted the comfort too, he kept telling himself it wouldn't change anything, because it wouldn't. They'd grown to reply on each other and give comfort, he couldn't lose that, he couldn't lose Andrea.

* * *

Andrea nearly ran to her cabin, closing the door as quickly as she could, leaning against it as if to keep people out.

Running a hand over her face she began to walk up and down, focusing on her feet, and staying in a straight line, hoping the old military tactic would work and keep her focused. She'd kissed Mike. It seemed like the right thing to do, they'd been supporting each other for months, they became life lines for one another, she found herself torn between wanting to be near him and wanting to stay away, because she knew this would happen. She would get too attached and see things that were not there.

She just wanted to feel something, so have someone hold her and tell it was going to be okay, and Mike did that, he did all of that. Now all Andrea could do was think about how she'd ruined a perfectly good friendship and potentially ended her career in the time span of five minutes.

But she loved him.

* * *

Who enjoyed part 6? Please let me know, this was a challenge and I have no idea where I am going to go from here, but hopefully it'll be half decent! Bethany.


	7. Chapter 7

**Time to Heal – Part 7.**

Part 7 is super short. Okay, I said it! After part 6 I was having a tough time, trying to figure out where I wanted to take this, so again, more of a filler chapter, more exploring emotions. Hopefully, part 8 will have some conversation about part 6 and where both Mike and Andrea go from here!

 **Trigger Warning – Mentions of suicide.**

Reviews are loved and appreciated, as always, your reviews from part 6 make me so happy! Enjoy.

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

Mike had been sat on the couch since Andrea had left. His mind was spinning and he couldn't focus on anything other than the redhead who'd just kissed him. Again, he found himself torn between his wife and his XO. Every time he and Andrea spoke it was about family, hope, and happiness. That was all he wanted, but he wanted Andrea to have that too, and the more time they spent together, the closer they became, the more he wondered about Christine and his girls. They could be gone. The Red Flu could have taken them like they did his son. Did he really want to risk his relationship with Andrea for his wife and girls who could already be dead?

"Crap," Mike muttered to himself, hating his train of thought. He just wanted to know, he wanted to know if his two girls had gotten through it, the longer he was at sea, the longer he went without knowing, the closer he got to his XO, the more he realised his relationship with Christine had been over for a long time.

Mike knew it would take a lot, for him and Andrea to make things work, to keep supporting each other, to keep helping each other out. To separate personal feelings from their professional roles. If there were any personal feelings. Much like months ago, they still flirted, of course it was innocent, they were coping, but they spent all their free time together, as well as most days working together. It was a ship, they were in close quarters, he told himself he was only human, his feelings towards her were natural, but again, he was torn, and he supposed he would be until he knew the fate of his family. That was another thought he hated.

As if it was such a simple thing. If his family were dead, he had Andrea, but if his family were alive, then he had them, he had them back, but it wasn't that simple, it would never be that easy. He'd grown too close to Andrea to forget her like that, just like he'd become so attached to the hope that his girls would still be alive.

At times, he wondered if finding Christine would be worth it, other times that was all he wanted to do, find his wife and daughters, and try to start over. His views changed every day, each time he saw Andrea, each time he saw the photo on his desk he wondered what was the right thing to do.

* * *

Andrea paced her cabin, wondering if or not to go back to Mike, explain herself, tell him she was sorry. She didn't know what to do, she was so annoyed at herself, she let her guard down too much and now she was in a situation that she didn't know if she could get out of. Kissing him was an accident, well, it wasn't, she'd wanted to do it for a long time, she just had it planned differently in her head, when he knew the fate of his family, when they'd reached land, when they were no longer on a Naval Ship trying to fight off enemy submarines.

Running a hand over her face she sat down on her bunk. Christine, Amy, and Katie could still be out there, Mike still had a chance at being a husband and father, he could rebuild his life. He could have a future.

Andrea, on the other hand, didn't. She'd wondered a lot over the last few weeks what she could do when they docked. She wondered if leaving the Navy would do her any good. Taking steps to be with Lily again had crossed her mind, more times that she would openly admit to, but it seemed so comforting knowing she could be close to her baby again. Her heart broke at the thought of Mike finding his family, and for no other reason, that her being selfish. If Mike found his family she'd be alone, she'd be reminded of the life she lost, she would no longer have him as her much needed shoulder to cry on.

God, she'd kissed him, and liked it, and it felt normal, natural even. She'd never had that feeling with Bill. She loved him, he was her husband and for a while, she thought he was the love of her life, but it had been hard work, but with Mike, it wasn't like that. Even though they were not in a relationship they spoke to each other so easily, opening up without hesitation after only a week of sitting in silence, it felt like they'd been doing it for years.

They'd suffered the same loss, the loss of a child, and in Andrea's eyes, it had brought them together. She wondered what she would have done had she gone back to her own cabin that night instead of the Captains, she wondered how different things would be. If she'd have coped or not, if she'd still be here or not.

But, when it came down to it, it didn't matter how much she enjoyed the kiss they shared, it would never matter, because she couldn't forget the fact that Mike's wife and daughters could still be alive, and she knew the moment he found them, he would do all he could to make things right again, as he should do. Andrea didn't want to feel hatred towards the idea, she knew if the tables were turned she would do everything to make things right between her and Bill, for Lily's sake, but the tables hadn't been turned and now she was facing the fact that she'd lost her husband and daughter and she could be losing the person she'd grown to rely on, care about, and love.

* * *

I know, it's super short, but was it still good? Please let me know, your reviews really do encourage me to write! Bethany.


	8. Chapter 8

**Time to Heal – Part 8.**

Part 8 is up! I've done a lot of adding to this chapter and then a lot of editing, so I am pretty pleased with how this one turned out! Let me know your thoughts.

Reviews are loved and appreciated! Thank you so, so much for the review on Part 7! Enjoy.

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

It was two weeks later when the two of them spoke properly. They'd seen each other in the passageways, but Andrea did her best to avoid the captain, speaking to him only when it was needed, otherwise she would ask other engineers to do it for her, of course, they did what they were told, no questions asked.

Andrea pushed herself into her work, Bill had always said that was how she coped with anything, good or bad, if things needed sorting or if there was a problem she would work, build things, fix things, break things, and put them back together again until she felt ready to deal with whatever it was. Over the last two weeks, Andrea had seen how right Bill was. The flight deck was almost empty as it neared midnight, Andrea had needed a break, and with everything running smoothly she excused herself for a few minutes. There wasn't much to look at, not that she would want to stare at nothing for too long, being at sea didn't bother her, but at night, just looking out into darkness, your mind began to play tricks on you.

She heard footsteps coming from her right and stood up straight, turning, looking to see who was there. Mike.

"Captain." Andrea greeted with a smile, which, she had to admit was a genuine smile.

"XO." Mike said back, getting closer.

"You've been avoiding me." Mike said after a few minutes, both leaning on the railings, looking straight ahead.

"I would call it 'being busy' but whatever suits you best." Mike chuckled, he'd been hoping the next time they spoke wouldn't be awkward or uncomfortable. If anything, he wanted it to be how it was before. The kiss they shared was bound to happen, the way things were going, how close they'd gotten, how well they'd come to know each other.

"I've been worried. I know last week was yours and Bill's anniversary." Andrea nodded, smiling a little.

"I wanted to come and talk to you, but I didn't want to unload everything onto you."

"I wouldn't have minded, it's what I am here for."

"That's what I am scared of. I want to be there for you, and I want you to be there for me, but when we dock you're going to find your family, your wife, and your daughters. The last thing you need is me breaking down over my loss." Andrea admitted, feeling too weak to keep up her 'I'm fine' persona. It had been two weeks and she was missing him, missing the comfort he provided. She knew she shouldn't miss him, but a lot of things shouldn't happen and they did, so to hell with it.

"I'm never not going to be here for you, Andrea. If I find my family I am still going to be your shoulder to cry on, that's not going to change. Whatever happens now, with going home, with us, with the ship, I am always going to be there for you." Mike reached out to touch her hand, but Andrea pulled it away.

She was happy to hear him say that he would always be there for her, but something didn't feel right, she felt like she was intruding, like an unwelcome guest. Taking a deep breath Andrea needed something good to focus on, something good about going home, about starting over.

"Tell me about your girls, if I'm going to help you find them it would help if I knew who they were. I can't imagine you have daughters you know, braiding hair, playing with dolls." Mike chucked, nodding.

"You and me both. I was so happy when they were born, you know. I wouldn't have changed them for anything, but god, I was terrified."

"Both girls were easy, it was Lucas who was the difficult baby, but you do it, you get up every two hours and you feed them and comfort them. I'll never forget, Lucas must have only been a year old, Katie was about four and Amy had just turned five. This intense storm hit the base pretty hard, the power went out and the lightning was crazy and Lucas he was screaming like mad, me and Christine tried to let him cry it out, but after twenty minutes we just knew he wasn't going to stop." Mike began, but stopped to look at Andrea hoping she wouldn't mind.

"What happened?" Andrea asked, looking up.

"I said I'd get him, I got up, walked into the nursery, and there was Lucas screaming in his crib, Amy in his crib next to him stroking his hair and Katie trying to wrap him up in a blanket. I should have gone in to get him, put the girls back to bed, but I just stood and watched for what felt like hours. Both girls just wanted to help, they wanted to give hugs and kisses, you could tell even from the age of five that they would be such caring and kind young girls." Mike smiled at the memories, hoping he would get a chance to reminisce with his daughters, talk about old times, family holidays, dance shows, school trips, all of it.

"You're going to find them you know. Knowing you and knowing Christine, they will have fought like hell with everything you taught them. You'll get them back, and then you can relive the old memories as well as make new ones." Andrea told him, although this time she didn't look up.

This time Mike reach out for her hand and she didn't pull away. She was so pleased to see Mike so happy talking about his daughters, reliving memories, but hell, it hurt. She didn't want to cry, she didn't want to ruin his happiness, or take away some of the hope he had about finding them.

"I'm sorry if I upset you."

"No, you didn't. It's nice to hear you talk about them." Mike nodded, admittedly it was nice to speak about them, but still, he couldn't help but feel bad.

"My girls would have loved Lily, you know? To have a little girl to play with to braid hair and to dress up. I think Lily would have gotten along well with Lucas as well, he loved soccer and biking, all of that stuff, he'd come in covered in mud and dirt, it drove Christine mad, but he was so happy."

"Lily loved it. I swear it was a miracle she had clothes to wear with all of the laundry I did." Andrea laughed a little, remembering all the times she would get annoyed because, yet again, she was having to clean her daughter's clothes or wipe the floor where Lily had run though the house with sneakers on, but her baby was happy and that was all that mattered.

They settled into a comfortable silence, staring out into darkness yet again. They could hear conversation of other sailors but choose to ignore it.

"If you want to talk about what happened, we can." Mike spoke up, he wouldn't admit that her was nervous, but the feeling was there. He didn't know how to bring it up, he was never very good at discussing emotions, although he would say he'd improved since leaving the Artic.

"Nothing will ever come of it, Mike. I was overwhelmed and I made a decision. You need to be positive, you're going to find Christine, and your girls, and when you do, no matter how terrible things were before you left, you're going to try and start over. Going through hell brings people closer, you and Christine will work it out."

"And if we don't?" Mike asked, despite the dim light he could see the tears on Andrea's face.

"You need to focus on finding your family, Mike."

"What if they're gone? I know I should stay positive but what if they're gone, then what?"

"Then, I will help you, like you've helped me." Mike looked at her for a long minute. He felt so torn, he just wanted it to stop, he wanted to know. He felt like Andrea was the second choice if he couldn't find his family, but she wasn't. If anything, he wanted to stay with her, to carry on comforting each other, to do the things that felt so normal.

Andrea was about to walk away when Mike grabbed her arm, letting go when she turned around to face him.

"Weather I find them or not, I care about you, and I don't want to lose what we have, Andrea, it's as simple as that." Andrea only nodded in understanding.

"We'll work it out, whatever it is, however we feel, we'll work it out." Andrea concluded before walking away. That was it, there was the simplicity of it, she and Mike would always be there for each other, no matter how much Mike's mind changed about finding his family, no matter how broken Andrea was, they would continue to support each other, and for now, that was enough.

* * *

"You called for me, sir?" Andrea asked with a smile as she walked into Mike's cabin three weeks after their chat on the flight deck.

"Yeah…" Mike said, his mood happier than it normally was.

"Is everything okay?" Andrea asked, wondering what was going on. She knew they were approaching land and would be docking in a few hours, but she knew that couldn't be the sole reason Mike seemed so happy.

"I found them. Christine and my girls, they're alive, they're safe."

Andrea's heart dropped, and she couldn't mask the hurt and heartbreak she felt at that exact moment.

"I'm so happy for you, sir." Andrea said through unshed tears.

* * *

Thank you for reading! What did you think? I hope this is not too much of a cliff hanger, if it is one at all! Bethany.


	9. Chapter 9

**Time to Heal – Part 9.**

Part nine is here! I feel like we have a lot of emotion in this chapter! I really wanted to upload this, so here it is!

 **Trigger Warning** – Panic attack – Although it's not a graphic description, it does happen.

Reviews are loved and appreciated! Enjoy!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

Andrea didn't know what to feel as the ship began to dock. Only a few hours earlier she'd found out that Mike's family were safe. She knew she should have been happy for him, but there was a part of her that couldn't be. A part of her hated him for it, hated him for having a happy ending, one that she would never get. She tried her best to push that part away, knowing that she would still be there for him, just like he'd be there for her.

Mike wasn't stupid, she assumed he knew, that he'd seen her face when he told her that Christine was safe, he must have seen the hurt, but his priority would be his wife and his daughters, not his XO. The closer they got to disembarking the more Andrea didn't want to walk off the Nathan James. She couldn't. Not now, this was where she felt safe, this was home, she didn't want to leave this ship because the moment she did she'd have to face everything she'd lost.

"The ship will be in dry dock for months." She heard a sailor say in the passageway. It was a happy thought for her, at least she would have something to do. Her plan of helping Mike find his family would no longer happen, they were safe, Andrea hadn't stuck around long enough to know where, but she knew his family were alive. She'd fix the ship, she'd work on getting the Nathan James back to how she was supposed to be.

Reaching the bridge, she took her seat, she figured she'd have to watch the ship dock, hopefully it would give her a little more motivation to leave the confines of the Navel Destroyer.

* * *

Mike couldn't believe what he'd heard. So much so he had to ask a further three times. His family were safe, they'd survived. Mike had so many questions, but the most important one had been answered, his daughters were safe, somewhere up in New Hampshire, another safe zone of some sort, but they were heading home, back to where they should be, back to him. He'd see his two daughters again in a few days, and all he wanted to do was hug them, tell them he loved them and how much he'd missed them.

He only wished he could celebrate with Andrea. Which, he knew was the wrong thing to be thinking about at such a happy moment, but she'd gotten him through so much, she was the support he needed, much like he supported her, and right now, celebrating such amazing news, he wished she was next to him. He couldn't blame her though. As much as she promised to help him find the girls, Mike knew it would be hell for her, even more so now. They'd spoken about docking, Andrea had shared her fears about starting over and facing up to all she'd lost, now to have that fear as well as knowing that Mike had found his family.

Mike wondered if he should talk to her. Tell her that it was okay to be upset and angry, ask if there was anything he could do, although he knew there wouldn't. A part of him thought it would be best to leave her alone, let everything sink in, but he couldn't do that, no now. They'd been through so much together, they'd shared hugs and feelings, they'd shared a kiss, which, Mike still, couldn't stop thinking about. He needed to see her, he needed to know she was okay. This would be the hardest part, today, docking, knowing that Andrea had no one to go home to, knowing all the trauma she'd suffered, Mike wasn't about to let her do it alone.

* * *

Andrea watch patiently as the ship docked, the bridge seemed to fill with unspoken excitement as people could be seen holding up signs and banners ready for the arrival of the crew that saved the world.

She'd done this a hundred times, she knew the procedure, she knew what disembarking meant, or was supposed to mean, she'd done this a hundred times, but back then she had people waiting for her, people running up to hug her, now she had nothing, and she knew that stepping off the ship was going to rip a hole in her heart, or at least make the one she already had a hell of a lot bigger. The Nathan James kept her busy, it would never take her mind off all that had happened, but the ship gave her no time to spend days isolating herself. Instead, it gave her moments to cry before it presented her with another problem that needed fixing.

Andrea could no longer watch. She couldn't keep watching the kids jumping up and down, the people smiling, she couldn't do it. Instead, she got up and began to walk back to her cabin, keeping her head down to avoid conversation, she needed to be alone, to try and figure out what she was going to do next, stepping off this ship put the fear of god into her, wondering if she would cope alone. Before today she had pictured Mike being there for her, supporting her, sitting with her in her living room, holding her whilst she cried, trying to answer all the questions she had, that was how much she'd grown to trust him, grown to rely on him, but none of that would happen now.

Mike was going to get the second chance that Andrea kept telling him about. She felt bad, she'd told him to hold onto hope, she kept saying that he would find his girls, he'd be happy, but now it was happening, and Andrea couldn't help but feel angry about it.

She needed to be happy for him.

* * *

Mike caught up with Andrea when they'd finally gotten off the Nathan James. She was stood alone leaning against the walls of one of the buildings, staring out at the water, lost in thought when Mike approached her.

"Hey," Mike said stopping next to her, copying her as he too leant against the wall, folding his arms over his chest.

"I want to talk to you, believe me, I do, but right now I can't," Andrea admitted softly, her voice faltering a little.

"I understand why. I want you to know that I understand, Andrea. Right now, you have every right to hate me, to be angry with me and I promise I will never judge you for that, I just want you to know that I am here." Andrea couldn't stop the tears.

"I want you to be happy, Mike. We've been through so much together and I want you to have your family back and to be happy, but it hurts so much." Mike again wanted to pull her into a hug, hold her until she felt better, until she could physically cry no more, but instead he just reached out for her hand.

The moment he touched her hand, he could see her fall to pieces.

"I can't do this." It was a bold statement, that Mike never thought he would hear Andrea say, she had always been so strong and so figured out.

"Andrea…"

"I can't. I can't cope I can't do this. How am I supposed to live without her?" Mike watched as Andrea got more and more worked up. Her breathing seemed to get so shallow over the space of a few minutes. Her hands had started to tremble and Mike could see the tears streaming down her face.

"Andrea, listen to me, it's okay." Mike was watching her have a panic attack. All he could think of was to hold her close. He pulled her into his arms, she pulled away at first, but Mike held her to his chest, whispering soothing words in her ear, kissing her head every so often. He'd done it before, but this time was different, this time he was seeing a side to Andrea that he didn't think he would.

She was giving up, she was giving up hope.

All Mike could think of, was how this, her panic attack, the way she was clinging to him, her sobbing, it was all his fault.

"It's going to be okay, Andrea. I promise you, we'll get through this together." It was all he could say, as he stood feeling hopeless, holding Andrea close to his chest, knowing that, again, nothing he said would make this better.

* * *

Thank you for reading, as always, I would love to know what you thought! Bethany.


	10. Chapter 10

**Time to Heal – Part 10.**

Part 10! I am running out of things to say about my chapters…

Reviews are loved and appreciated, thank you again for all the previous reviews! Enjoy.

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

Over the course of the week, Andrea pushed herself into her work. The ship had since been moved to dry dock and once fully out of the water her team could begin the major maintenance work. She found herself up at four in the morning, not returning home until after nine, she was sure people had noticed, but each time they asked her if she was okay she brushed it off, telling everyone she was fine.

She hadn't spoken to Mike since her panic attack, she assumed she'd hear less from him now, now that Christine was coming home, now that his daughters were back. They still hadn't arrived, but Andrea knew it would be sometime today that Mike would get to see his family after what felt like years. She reached the dry dock just after four, today would be the day the team started to work on repairing the engines and doing some major rewiring, which, could take them hours, or days if she was being honest.

She was happy though. She was an engineer and as much as she'd enjoyed the challenge of being XO, she knew that fixing things would be the one thing she'd chose over everything else, so, instead of sitting in her apartment staring at the blank walls, she decided to put her passion to work, if she worked hard enough it felt like nothing had changed, that was, unit she got home and realised Lily was no longer there and the world had nearly fallen apart.

* * *

Mike paced his apartment, waiting, constantly checking the clock on the wall. He'd not spoken to his girls, but he'd been told they were happy to be heading home, or what would be home, and Mike hoped that meant seeing him too. He would admit that he had mixed feelings about Christine, he didn't know what would happen, she was there when Lucas died, he wasn't. Mike knew that it would all seem real when he saw them, he no longer had his son, but he had to be positive, he had his wife and his daughters and that was what he was counting on, seeing them, holding them, and promising them he would keep them safe.

Tom had offered to wait with him but he let him go, Tom needed to be with his kids. He wondered if Andrea would have offered, maybe if Lily was here? He hadn't spoken to her for days, and it felt so strange, but then again, everything felt strange, it was so different being off the ship, being on land and trying to start over, Andrea was right, the moment they set foot on land Mike had begun to realise all that he'd lost, and all that he had to make right.

Just as he begun to get lost in his thoughts, he heard car doors. Walking over the window he saw a sight that brought him to tears. Christine. Amy. Katie. His girls, his family. Within minutes Mike had opened the front door to his apartment and was looking straight at his family.

"DAD!" His girls were okay. He pulled his daughters into a hug before pulling Christine close to him as well. He couldn't find the words to speak, but neither could they. Mike stood in the doorway, his arms wrapped around his wife and two girls, he didn't need words. His family was okay.

Andrea was right, he got his happiness, he got his second chance.

"I love you all so much…"

* * *

Mike watched as Christine made coffee, the girls had fallen to sleep on the couch, Katie had fallen asleep against Mike, and whilst before that would have annoyed him slightly, right now he didn't care, he was just happy that she was next to him, with her sister in reach.

"All they kept saying was 'dad will find us.'" Christine said with a smile as she sat down opposite him.

"I tried, I really did, and then I had to get back to the ship, but I had everyone I knew looking for you," Mike told her, it was the truth, he'd called in so many favours after he'd gotten back to the Nathan James.

"Well, we're here now. It wasn't easy, after Lucas we just packed up and ran, we stole cars, food, and money. I never thought I would go that low, but it was either steal what we needed or die." Mike nodded, not wanting to say anything.

"We've got good kids; not once did they show any signs of giving up." Mike smiled, looking at his daughters, both looked so peaceful, he assumed they hadn't slept in so long, neither had he, but at least he was safe on the ship, he didn't have to worry about being robbed at gunpoint or killed for the little food he assumed they had.

"Once the girls are settled I think we should talk," Mike said after a moment. He wanted to just fall back into a routine, but he couldn't, they had things to talk about. They'd lost their son, and with all that happened before Mike was deployed, Mike knew it was something that needed to be spoken about.

He watched Christine carefully for a moment, he knew there was something on her mind.

"If you don't want to talk today that's fine, you've been through hell, it can wait. Chrissy, I'm just happy to have you back." Mike told her with a smile, if it wasn't for Katie asleep on him, he would have gotten up, pulled her into a hug, kissed her.

"I think we just need to focus on the kids we still have with us." Mike could hear the bitterness in her voice but chose to ignore it. He'd never know what it was like to be out there, to have to fight to stay alive like the three of them did, right now he would take whatever they threw at him. He was just happy that they were alive and now, safe.

* * *

It was a few hours later when Andrea found the courage to go to Mike's apartment. She thought it was only right she went to see him, welcome Christine, and the girls home.

Knocking on the door Andrea couldn't hide the nervousness she felt, reminding herself that this wasn't the time to talk about herself or Lily, this was the time to be happy for Mike and his family. Her thoughts were cut short when the door opened.

"Andrea…" Mike smiled when he saw her.

"Hey, I thought I'd stop by and see how everything was going," Andrea explained, but everything seemed so different, awkward.

Mike let her in, offering her coffee, before telling her that the girls were sleeping. Andrea looked around the room, she didn't know what she expected, bags of clothes or other various things, but then she remembered that whatever they had a year ago, had probably been stolen.

"How did it go?" Andrea asked after a moment, once he's made her a drink. The pair of them stood in the kitchen, trying to keep their voices down.

"As well as could be expected. The girls just wanted me to hug them and never let go, but they fell to sleep after an hour or so. I expect they haven't slept properly in months, they just said how much they'd missed me and how hard it was, they gave the impression that they didn't want to talk about it." Andrea nodded.

"That's expected. When we came back the first time the place looked like hell." Mike chuckled a little, he, much like Andrea didn't know what to expect, or what to think, no amount of stories the girls told would make him understand what his family went through.

"How are you holding up?" Mike asked after a moment.

"As well as everyone else." Andrea shot back, not wanting to talk about her, this was about Mike and his family. It felt so strange for her to be in his apartment knowing his daughters were sleeping in the next room, and that was without the thought of Christine being there too.

"If need to talk, I am here, and I am going to keep on saying that until you believe it." Andrea smiled, nodding.

"Thank you, but right now, I am just trying to get through these next few weeks. I just want to get settled, then I am sure we will begin to find a new normal." Andrea told him, looking up when she heard one of the doors open.

Mike turned to see Christine. Andrea couldn't help but feel out of place, she knew there was nothing wrong with her being in the apartment, she and Mike were good friends, but there was something about seeing Christine again that made her feel uneasy like she was intruding.

"Christine, you remember Andrea, right?" Mike said turning to his wife, quickly asking if she wanted a drink.

"Yes, it's been a long time." Christine tried to make a joke, something Andrea was happy about.

"Too long if you ask me."

"How have you been? Did your family survive this mess?" Christine asked. Andrea tensed slightly, losing the ability to speak.

"Bill and Lily died not long after Lucas." Mike put in for Andrea, watching his XO for a moment.

Andrea smiled at Mike before looking to Christine, taking a deep breath.

"Well, I should leave you be. I'm glad you're back, let me know if you need a hand with anything." Andrea said, smiling at Christine, mainly because she couldn't think of anything else to say.

"You know where I am, if you need me." Mike said as Andrea walked to the door. Andrea didn't reply, she just walked out silently, waiting until she was out of his apartment and had closed the door before she let the tears fall.

* * *

Moments passed before Mike or Christine said anything.

"I didn't realise that her family had died."

"I know, and she knows that she's just struggling with being at home again," Mike explained. Christine took another sip of the drink Mike had made her.

"You said we should talk, but, I don't really have much to say." Mike held his breath, waiting for whatever she was going to say.

"The girls want to stay with you, and I'm not going to take them away from you, and I want you to make things right with them, but I don't think we can make things right between us." Mike frowned a little, but admittedly, he didn't feel as heartbroken as he assumed he would.

"Chris…"

"I can't look at you without thinking about Lucas." Mike watched his wife carefully, tears building behind his eyes.

Christine took a step forward.

"I blame you for what happened to him. We lost our little boy because of your commitment to the Navy." Mike nodded as he watched Christine take a few steps backwards. He wanted to say something, tell her he was sorry but he couldn't. The look in her eye told Mike she was serious, this wasn't fuelled by tears, this was real, she blamed him for Lucas' death.

Mike was lost for words as he watched her walk away, back to the bedroom, Mike's only comfort was knowing that Christine wouldn't take his girls away from him, at least he had a chance to make it right with them.

* * *

What did you think? I hope to have the next part up soon! Reviews are loved and appreciated! Bethany.


	11. Chapter 11

**Time to Heal – Part 11.**

Part 11 is here! This chapter is a bit 'all over the place' so, I hope it's still enjoyable! Like with most of my work, I have tried to correct all mistakes, so if you find any, I'm sorry!

Reviews are loved and appreciated! Enjoy!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

Mike had spent the morning with both of his daughters, both Katie and Amy were happy to spend time with him, and Mike was pleased that after such a long time away he could finally sit with them and talk. They didn't have too much to talk about, but since Christine had gone out to give them some time alone, the girls had opened up a little more about the things they'd had to do to survive.

"Who was here the other day, dad?" Katie asked as she started to braid her sister's hair.

"My XO, she came by to see how I was now you where here." Mike said with a smile. The conversation that followed Andrea's visit hadn't been pleasant. Christine had to sit there and watch the Red Flu take their little boy, he couldn't begin to imagine the pain that had caused her, so the conversation they'd had, the confession Christine had made, had been heart-breaking, but expected in Mike's eyes.

"Did her family survive?" Amy asked.

"No, her husband and daughter died, so it's been hard for her these last few weeks." Mike told them, wondering how much he should tell the about Andrea. If anything, she was a friend, of course their feelings seemed to go beyond that, but neither of them had spoken about it, so for now, they were friends, very good friends.

"I think she would like to meet you. Once you're both settled and we've gotten some sort of routine going." Mike said after a few moments, both Katie and Amy nodded, but didn't say much more. He left the conversation there, over the next hour commenting on various things, questions the girls had, some about him and Christine, other about what the future held, none of them Mike could really answer, but he did his best.

It just made him realise it could take a while for them to feel comfortable again.

* * *

"The girls said you were heading out?" Christine asked as she approached Mike in the kitchen.

"Yeah, CNO wants a meeting. We all need to discuss where we go from here." Christine laughed bitterly, shaking her head as she crossed her arms, Mike knew what that meant all too well.

"So, you're leaving again, even after the world fell apart and you finally get your girls back, you are actually heading to a meeting to get briefed on your next mission." Mike couldn't say anything, she had a point, but right now, the crew of the Nathan James, was the Military, there was no one else.

"I have to do this, Christine. I know you don't like it, I know you hate me for it, but this is what I have to do. I will explain everything to the girls when I know what's happening." Mike told her, grabbing his jacket from the back of the couch.

"I found an apartment, it's just outside of the naval base…" Mike and Christine had been speaking about her moving out for the last three days, Mike knew that it was over, and Christine's feelings had confirmed it. She'd broke down twice, telling him that she just couldn't look at him anymore. Despite her breakdowns Mike had promised to help her financially, as well as making sure she had round the clock protection. He'd spoken to Tom who said it wouldn't be too hard to sort out. Mike would have preferred her to be on the base, where she was safe, where the girls would be safe, but it was only a 5-minute drive and he knew that whoever was assigned to look out for them would do a decent job.

Mike knew that if it was anything else he would have tried, he would have fought to keep them together, but he wasn't there, and Christine was right, he would never understand the pain of watching their child die, that was the sole reason for this, and Mike couldn't see a way out. He couldn't see it working, but she was alive and as much as they'd 'fallen out of love' as Christine had put it, she was still the mother to his children and he wanted nothing but the best for her, and their two daughters. A part of him wondered if Lucas hadn't of died then maybe they could work it out, but he knew that now she was in too much pain, and on top of that, after all that had happened with Andrea, he didn't know if he could be in love with her, like he knew he should be.

"We should talk about it more tomorrow." Mike said simply, looking up at the clock.

"Sure…"

* * *

The meeting had confirmed that they'd all been thinking. They needed to redeploy, spread the cure, and stop any world war that the world couldn't take right now.

Andrea couldn't help but feel a sense of relief when Tom told them that they would be redeploying, a part of her was worried, but she tried to push that feeling away. She'd spent such a long time convincing herself that she needed to be on the Nathan James, that she didn't want to start another internal fight with herself.

She kept looking over at Mike, wondering if he would leave or not. He'd only just got his wife and daughters back. She assumed so, but then again, she assumed she would leave as well, but as minutes passed she wasn't so sure. Could she cope with going back out there? Would she and Mike have the same relationship when they left, or would she be alone at night wondering how she would make it through the next day?

Leaving the room, Mike caught up with her.

"How are you holding up?" He asked, both walking in sync. Andrea smiled a little, nodding.

"Just fine, the James needs a lot of work, so I am pretty busy. How are the girls?"

"Settling in well. It's been nice to spend time with them. Christine went out for a while, and they opened up a little more about what happened when they were out there." Andrea could understand that.

"Well, I doubt they'd want to talk about it in front of their mother." Andrea put in. Looking over at him she wondered what he was thinking, if he was debating if or not to leave, if he should stay with his girls and try to rebuild.

"Tom would understand if you turned this mission down." Andrea commented after a few moments of silence.

Mike shrugged, he knew Tom would understand, just like everyone else would if Tom decided to stay home to be with his kids, but Mike wasn't like that, he'd been in the loop since day one, he was in on so many secrets when they met Rachel Scott, in his mind he needed to finish what they started, and that meant getting the cure to everyone who was still fighting for their lives.

"I need to finish what we started. What about you? I know how hard it's been for you to come back, so, you must feel happy about leaving." Mike asked, he decided not to step around the question, they knew each other better than that.

"Someone's got to keep the engines running whilst you form tactical plans and shoot down choppers." Andrea shot back, her voice laced with sarcasm, but Mike could tell she was nervous, unsure, even.

The pair fell into comfortable silence, Mike following Andrea's lead as they headed back to dry dock. Mike knew he should have gone home, but he'd missed Andrea, he'd missed her company and how honest he could be around her. A part of him wanted to take her hand, something he fought against, he felt so conflicted, but not over Andrea or Christine, but if he should tell Andrea about Christine. He didn't want Andrea to feel like a second choice, he wanted her to know that he had feelings for her, not that she was the next on the list once Christine moved out.

* * *

Hours passed in silence, and short conversation. Mike had paperwork to do, and Andrea was back and forth between her office and the ship. She'd been working on various electrical systems, but daylight was fading and sailors were beginning to lose focus, so it seemed like sending them home would be the right thing to do. She needed the repairs to be done right, and sleep deprived sailors did not make the best electricians.

Mike watched as Andrea walked into her makeshift office, smiling as she sat down.

"I thought you would have gone home." Mike shook his head.

"I thought that we could talk?" Mike suggested closing the report he was reading. Admittedly he wanted to talk, he wanted to say how he was feeling and have some listen to him, Andrea was the only one he wanted to talk too.

"I'm listening." Andrea said with a smile, leaning back in her chair, giving Mike her full attention. She could see he needed to talk, she could tell there was something bothering, but she knew to wait, wait for him to come to her, to open up, and she was happy to do it.

"I like you, Andrea." He knew he wasn't good at this, but still, he wanted to say it, she needed to know.

"I know right now we are not in the best situation, but I can't stop thinking about you." Andrea took a deep breath, her cheeks going a light shade of red.

"Mike, I don't know what to say. Right now, you need to focus on your girls and fixing your relationship." Mike shook his head.

"Me and Christine have been over a long time, even before the Artic, and I honestly thought we could work it out, but she blames me for Lucas and that is something that can never be undone. I have my girls and I will work my ass off to make up for everything they've lost in the last year, but…" Mike couldn't finish his sentence, he didn't know what to say. All he wanted to do was tell Andrea how much he liked her, how much he loved her.

Andrea sat for a moment, trying to figure out what to say, if there was anything she could say. A part of her was still thinking about deployment, the other part was trying to work out how she felt in the moment, did she want Mike? Was she just the second choice?

Standing up from her desk, she moved around it, waiting for Mike to stand up as well.

"Andrea, I know we're both still grieving and trying to heal and that's before we begin to comprehend all that's happened, and I know it's going to be a while before we reach a new normal, but I'm not lying, I'm not trying to use you, I am being honest with you, Andrea. I like you, have done for a while, and I can't stop thinking about you, or our kiss…" Andrea stopped him.

"I was upset and overwhelmed, it shouldn't have happened, we were on the ship and we both know the rules." Andrea remembered how upset she'd been, with thoughts of Lily and how she was supposed to help Mike find his family, find happiness again, it was beginning to get to her.

"You should go home; your girls will be waiting for you." Andrea said, with a smile, although she didn't want him to leave.

"Andrea…" Andrea sighed, letting her hands drop to her sides from where they'd been folded across her chest.

"I like you, Mike. I do, that's partly why I kissed you, that's why I spent all of that time in your cabin spilling all of my feelings, but I am not at a place where I can do anything about that." Mike couldn't hide the hurt he felt.

"I just want to know that we're going to be there for each other." Andrea laughed a little and nodded.

"Of course, we are. I'm not denying anything, Mike, I'm just telling you I'm not ready." Mike nodded, reaching out to take her hands, leaning down to kiss her head.

Before he could leave, Andrea moved to kiss him properly.

Mike left without saying anything else, leaving Andrea stood in her office. For the first time in a long time she realised she was right.

It was him. He made it bearable. Mike made healing bearable.

* * *

Please let me know what you think, reviews are loved and appreciated! Bethany.


	12. Chapter 12

**Time to Heal – Part 12.**

Part 12, again, this was hard to write, but still, I am trying to explore different emotions and feelings! Hopefully, the next chapter will give more insight into where Mike and Andrea go in terms of a relationship! But, until then, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Reviews are loved and appreciated!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

Today had been Andrea's first official day off in weeks, and had Mike not have been sat in her living room with her, she knew she would have gone to work.

"You can leave, you know," Andrea said after taking a sip of her coffee.

"CNO said you need a day off, and I know the minute I leave you'll be making your way down to the Nathan James." Andrea smiled, he had a point, be still she could be annoyed about it.

They sat in silence for a few moments, Mike was reading the paper whilst Andrea stared at the blank wall in front of her. It had been a week since the kiss, now, they both knew they had feelings for each other, there was no denying it. Mike had accepted that Andrea wasn't ready and despite the instant hurt he felt, he realised that having her there was enough for now. He didn't really speak about Christine after that, he only mentioned things to do with her moving and coming up with schedules for the girls.

Andrea had sat and listened, telling him he could talk as much as he wanted. She felt for him, Andrea's life was simple. She'd lost everything, and although it broke her heart, she realised she didn't have to focus on rebuilding relationships. She'd told him that he would figure it out, that no matter his feelings when on the ship, he was always certain that he wanted to find his daughters.

"Do you regret going to the Arctic?" Mike asked putting the paper down.

Andrea looked at him for a few seconds before shaking her head.

"No. It was a mission, no one was to know what would happen. The more I think about it, the more I realise that even Dr Scott was in the dark until she began to do more research, I doubt even she could have imagined the damage the virus could do." Mike nodded

"A part of me does. I was given the choice of a desk job in Miami, a fresh start for me and Christine, to be home more for the kids, but I convinced Christine that going would be okay, that this would be my last tour before we moved." Andrea smiled, it had been something they hadn't really spoken about. She knew Mike had asked for a transfer, but she didn't realise if it went through or if he'd been assigned to the Nathan James.

Andrea, on the other hand, treated the mission like any other, she was called and so she served.

"I keep remembering the joy that we all felt when Tom said we were going home, then it felt like minutes later he told us that the world was doomed. It was hard to comprehend but I serve when I'm called, and that is what I will keep on doing until I can't." Andrea said, she assumed her answer would have been different had Lily been alive, she would have stayed to make sure her daughter was okay, but now, the Navy, the Nathan James, the crew, they were all she had left.

"One hell of a training mission," Mike muttered.

The two, once again, fell into a comfortable silence. Mike picked up the paper again and began to read whilst Andrea got lost in her thoughts. It was normal for the two of them, it seemed to be how they worked, both just wanted company, it didn't matter if they spoke or sat in silence, it was just nice to have someone there.

As Andrea sat in silence she wondered about next steps. Not for them, or their relationship, but more for her. She had been wondering for days if she should return to her old house, see if anything had been left, see what she could take, see if there were any memories, or to just relive the memories. It would be closure, to finally say goodbye, their bodies would have been burnt, she would never get to bury them, so she needed to find another way to say goodbye properly. Going back to the house seemed to be the only choice she had left.

"You wanna talk about it?" Mike's voice brought her out of her trance. She looked at him for a few minutes wondering if she wanted to share her thoughts with him.

"Not yet." She smiled.

"Well, I'm here when you're ready."

* * *

Mike got home later that afternoon, happy to be able to see his girls smiling as they spoke to each other.

"Dad! You're home." It was Katie who noticed him.

"Hey, how are you?" Mike asked, as his daughter got up to hug him. This had become normal over the last few days, the hugs, and kisses. Mike found himself wanting to constantly know where the girls were and how they were doing.

"Can we talk, dad?" Amy asked as Katie sat back down next to her, leaving room on the couch for their father.

"Of course," There was a moment of silence whilst the girls figured out what to say. Which, admittedly, made Mike nervous, they had yet to ask about their mother, and what was going on between her and Mike, the girls said they wanted to talk about Lucas, but still that conversation had been unheard, and of course, he was certain his girls would want to know what happened, and why he didn't continue looking for them when he docked the first time.

"Why did you go back to the ship?" Amy asked, her face seemed blank at first, but then Mike really looked and he could see how scared both his girls were. He knew it would be playing on their mind, and he knew they deserved answers, and maybe even needed them to help move on, but he also knew that if he told them he looked and gave up it would break their hearts.

"I was needed on the ship, and when I went back I made sure I had everyone I knew looking for you on the mainland." He wondered if that would be enough, but deep down, he knew it wouldn't be.

"Would you have carried on looking, if you hadn't already found us?" Katie asked, now wondering about the 'what if's.'

"Of course, I would have. Despite knowing what happened to Lucas and not being about to find you, not hearing about you, I still held onto hope that you would be okay, and now, thank god you are, and we're safe." Mike reached over to take their hands.

Both his girls sat in silence for a moment, and he knew at some point he would have to tell them about his redeployment, whilst they were still taking in the information about their mother.

Mike and Christine had told them that morning that they would be separating, but had told them they were okay, and that both girls would still see both parents. It had been agreed that both the girls and Christine would stay with Mike until the apartment was fully finished and the girls could move in. Despite the separation, Mike and Christine only wanted the best for Amy and Katie, so they agreed to move at their pace, constantly making sure that everything was okay with the girls and they fully understood.

"I was scared I was never going to see you again, dad. We both were." Mike shook his head, standing up so he could pull both of his girls into his arms.

"I wasn't going to let that happen, believe me." He could feel his daughters crying in his arms, and he knew the next few weeks would hurt like hell.

"I love you two so much, okay." Despite giving up hope a time or two, despite having to fight like hell, despite the anger, the heartache, the happiness, the confusion, and all the other emotions he'd felt in the last year, his love for his daughter never faltered once.

* * *

Andrea had spent most of the afternoon in her apartment, looking through the few photographs she had of Lily and Bill. After hours of thinking, she decided she needed closure.

Picking up her phone, she keyed in a familiar number, waiting for him to pick up.

" _Andrea."_

" _Mike, hey, is this a bad time?"_

" _Not at all."_

" _About earlier, I'm ready to talk…"_

" _I'll be round in 10."_

Andrea took a breath, she needed this, she needed to say goodbye to the two people who meant the most to her, she needed to say goodbye and begin to move on, it's what Bill and Lily would have wanted, it's what _she_ wanted.

* * *

How was it? Thank you for reading, please leave a review before you go, they are loved and appreciated! Bethany.


	13. Chapter 13

**Time to Heal – Part 13.**

So, I had a pretty awful day, so I decided that I was gonna put this up and hopefully make you guys happy!

I feel as though you may need tissues when reading this! Part 13 everyone!

Reviews are loved and appreciated! I am so happy you guys loved the last chapter. Thank you for all the earlier reviews, I forgot to say it on chapter 12 because I was stupid and forgot! Enjoy.

 **Disclaimer- I own nothing.**

* * *

"You ready to go?" Mike stood in Andrea's apartment waiting for her to get ready.

"Yeah, let me just grab my jacket." Andrea smiled slightly, but Mike could see that she was nervous. Today would be the day that Andrea visited her old house, or what was left of it. Mike had promised last week that he would drive her. He wasn't convinced that she would have the mental or physical strength to drive herself.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Mike asked on the way down to the car.

"No, but I need to. I need to close that door and start to move on." Andrea smiled sadly, just as she got to the jeep.

"Okay. Well, if you change your mind, let me know and we'll turn around." Mike told her before getting in.

The first part of the drive was done in silence, filled with only short conversations after they'd stopped for gas, Mike kept glancing over, but Andrea was too lost in her own world to notice. Mike had seen her play with the wedding band that was still on her finger and when she'd stopped twisting that she would play with the 'L' necklace she wore.

Pulling onto the road Andrea used to live the whole street looked deserted and trashed. Window's had been smashed and things had been taken. Mike wondered if or not to take his weapon out of the glove box for safety, before wondering if he should just turn around all together, he didn't think Andrea would cope with seeing her house destroyed.

He kept on driving, coming to a stop outside the house. From where they were it didn't look too bad, Mike just hoped it wasn't any worse on the inside.

"Will you come with me?" Andrea asked, looking over at Mike.

"Of course, I will." Mike watched Andrea for a moment, waiting for her to get out of the jeep before he did. He didn't have to do this, his girls were safe on the base, so right now, he was prepared to give Andrea all the time she needed.

* * *

Entering the house, Mike followed Andrea in, looking around as they walked down the hall, bypassing the living area and kitchen as she headed for the stairs.

Mike assumed she was heading for Lily's room, to see if there was anything left of her daughter. Mike assumed the worst, hoping that by some miracle, something of Lily's would have been left.

Andrea took a step into her daughter's room and felt her heart shatter into a million pieces, she put her hand on the door frame to steady herself as she looked around. The room hadn't been trashed too badly, things had been taken, but she wanted to keep the belief that Lily herself had taken them when they left. Looking around her eyes landed on various stuffed toys and clothing items. She knew she couldn't take all of it, no matter how much she wanted to, but she needed to take some of it, some of her toys, some of her clothes, just so Andrea had something to comfort her on the bad days.

Walking further into the room she knelt next to the bed, not being able to sit on it. She reached out to gather some of the clothing items from the floor, many of them were clothes that didn't fit, she remembered the last time she spoke to Bill, he'd said that both he and Lily had begun to sort out her closet, she stopped picking up and refolding the clothes when she found the white dress that Lily wore for Andrea's two previous homecomings, next to the dress was Lily's favourite stuffed animal, a toy giraffe that she'd had even before she was born. Memories flooded back as Andrea held both the toy and the dress close to her, a choked sob escaping as she closed her eyes.

Mike had been watching her in silence, not knowing what to do, but the moment Andrea began to sob he moved backwards out of the room, taking the few steps to the top of the stairs where he sat down, staring at the floor as his own heart broke at the sound of Andrea crying for her daughter.

* * *

Mike pulled over at the side of the road, bringing the jeep to a stop before shutting off the engine. Andrea had been staring out the window, and even now she still couldn't look at Mike. She'd picked up a few of Lily's clothes, a few stuffed toys and some photo albums that had been hidden under the bed in the master bedroom.

She had what she needed, the clothes, the toys, and the photographs, she wanted to take everything, but she knew if she did that she wouldn't move on, she'd simply be stuck in the past, surrounded by constant reminders of all she'd lost. It would consume her, this was she had what she wanted, as well as the precious memories.

"I feel so drained."

"No sleep, then crying for nearly two hours will do that to you," Mike said, reaching over to put a hand on her arm.

"I just, can't seem to get my head on straight. It feels like a nightmare, I just want it to be simple…" Mike winced a little at her words. He didn't know what to say to her, nothing he said would help her, this was something that Andrea needed to figure out on her own, all Mike could do was offer her a hand to hold.

"I keep telling myself that Bill wouldn't want me to live like this, blaming myself for what happened."

"You're right. He wouldn't, Bill loved you, Andrea, he wouldn't want you to be unhappy." Andrea turned to look at Mike for the first time, she had tears running down her face, her eyes were red, and she looked defeated. She pulled her knees up to her chest, her feet resting on the edge of the passenger seat. Mike moved his hand off her arm, but she reached out to hold it.

"Thank you."

"I told you that you wouldn't have to do it alone and I meant it," Mike told her, rubbing his thumb back and forth over her hand. It was new, but it felt natural in the moment.

There was a moment of silence, Andrea let her head fall back against the headrest, wondering how rude it would be if she fell asleep. Mike was right, she felt drained due to lack of sleep, lack of food, which she wasn't going to tell Mike about, and then crying for what felt like an eternity. She wanted to stop the tears, but she couldn't, it was the first time she really cried, the first time she really realised all that she had lost.

"About what I said the other day, about not being ready to move on, or for another relationship, I still stand by it, but I want to move on, you know? I just feel like I can't…" Andrea couldn't think about Bill and Lily right now, she hated herself for it, but her eyes were so sore and her throat hurt too much from crying. Tonight, she would let herself cry again, she would look through photographs and relive memories until she fell into an uncomfortable sleep, and maybe she would get some rest before she woke up again with the realisation that Lily was gone.

"It's going to take time, Andrea, and no matter how long it takes, I don't plan on going anywhere."

"Your girls need you, Mike. They need you more than I do." Mike took a deep breath as he squeezed her hand. He wanted to believe that, and a part of him did, but still he wanted Andrea, he wanted to be there for her, to hold her, to comfort her, which he wouldn't admit to anyone else, because it seemed to be so far from his personality but he couldn't help it.

"So, you admit that you need me?" Mike shot back. Andrea chuckled lightly.

"Well, wouldn't that be great for your ego," Andrea commented, using her free hand to push her hair out of her face.

"Can't blame a guy for trying." Mike shrugged, still smiling. It was nice, to have a moment of light-heartedness amongst the hurt and heartache.

"I want this, whatever this is, between us. But, right now your daughters need you and if you are really serious about redeploying then you need to spend as much time with them as you can." Andrea couldn't call it a relationship, because to her it wasn't, right now the two of them were comforting each other whilst they fought their own demons, hoping that one day they could fight the hell they faced together.

Mike was happy to hear her admit it, but Andrea was right, he needed to be with Katie and Amy, it was going to kill them to watch him leave again, and he only hoped that they could understand why he was doing the things he was. He stayed quiet, thinking about the fact that he still needed to tell his daughters he was shipping out, hoping that it would be okay. Christine was close to having the new apartment finished, and Mike hoped that the girls could get moved in before he left, he wanted them to have some stability, knowing that him leaving again would cause some arguments and tears.

"I just know it's going to break them," Mike said after a moment, shaking his head. He'd toyed with the idea of sitting this one out and being home to look after his daughters, to help rebuild, but he needed to finish what they started.

"It will, but that's not all because of the pandemic, that's just because dad is shipping out again. It would have broken them every time before, you're just thinking about it more now because you nearly lost them." Andrea gave him a small, weak smile.

"You've just endured the hardest two hours of your life and you're sat here listening to me talk about my kids. How much do you want to hit me?" Andrea laughed, shaking her head.

"It's all part of moving on, I'm not going to stop you talking about Amy, Katie, or Christine for that matter. Talking is good for the soul." Mike chuckled. Still, they hadn't let go of each other's hand.

"You need to focus on Katie and Amy, they are your number one priority, and I know if Lily were here and you'd lost your family, she would be all that mattered. Your daughters come first, not me, not us, not whatever this is," Andrea gestured between them.

"Andrea…"

"I'm not going anywhere, Mike."

"You're one of the toughest people I know, you know that, right?" Andrea smiled and gave a little shrug.

"I think we're all pretty tough when we need to be." Andrea wanted to keep talking, it was helping, it was helping her heal, helping her grieve, and still, she didn't have it in her to cry right now.

"Do you want to go?" Mike asked, watching her expression carefully.

"Not just yet," Andrea said with a sad smile. She just wanted to remember home for a little longer before she said goodbye for the final time.

Mike nodded, not saying anything, willing to give Andrea all the time she needed. He was willing to sit and hold her hand for as long as it took, this is what she needed, this was her closure and Mike had promised her that she wouldn't have to do it alone, and he was sticking to that promise.

* * *

Part 13 is done! I personally liked the little end bit to this, did you? Let me know what you thought! Bethany.


	14. Chapter 14

**Time to Heal – Part 14.**

This took me some time, I was struggling with the transition from part 13 to part 14, so I hope it turned out okay.

 **Trigger Warning - Mentions of a panic attack**. I hope this isn't too out of character!

Reviews are loved, welcome and appreciated! Thank you so much for all the other reviews!  
I hope you enjoy part 14.

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

Three months seem to fit in the space of a week, as the crew prepared to redeploy again. They had another week before the Nathan James left the base, heading to Asia to spread the cure, and stop world war III.

Telling the girls had been hard for Mike, but despite the tears, both seemed comforted by the fact that this time it would only be six months and whilst he was gone, they would have a safe place to stay. They split their time between Mike's apartment and Christine's and seemed to have a schedule that worked. No schools were officially open, but both girls attended classes every weekday, run by teachers and civilians, one of the civilians being Christine, which also put Mike at ease about the girls being out in public, it wasn't the best, but it was beginning to feel normal.

"Is Tom going with you?" Christine asked as she stood in the living room. She had come to collect the girls after they'd spent the week at Mike's. He partly wanted the two of them to be with him on his last week before deployment, but he also knew it would be best for them to be with Christine, at least would have a little more stability that way.

"Yeah, he confirmed it a few weeks ago. I think Kara's going to be our military liaison whilst we're away, so if you need me or the girls need me, then it would be best to call Kara." Christine smiled and nodded. Things between them were still hard, she still stood by her words, she blamed Mike for Lucas' death, but they were trying to be civil for the girls.

"Andrea going too then?" Mike nodded, Christine had asked him about Andrea, asking why he spent so much time with her, it was a question he'd expected, but gave her the simple answer of support and someone to be there for her.

"I guess she needs it, something to fill her time." Christine smiled.

"Yeah, I think it will be good for a lot of them." Mike shot back, more forcefully than intended, but any reply Christine had was cut short by the girls.

After goodbyes, Mike had promised to see them before he left, and the girls seemed happy enough with that, he said a quick goodbye to Christine, kissing her on the cheek, telling her to take care before all three of them disappeared down the hall.

* * *

Andrea laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling, it was another day off. CNO's orders which had made it even worse, a part of her was angry, she could do her job, but another part was worried. Did he want her back on the ship? Did he trust her? Was all this time off leading up to her getting reassigned?

What if she didn't go? What if she stayed and tried to rebuild? The ship had Tom, Mike, Sasha, and Alisha, did they need her? Was she important enough? She did her part, she volunteered for human trials, she helped find a cure, did they really need her now?

Sitting up, she felt fear run through her. She was going to get reassigned.

Andrea tried to take a deep breath, she tried to calm herself down, panic attacks had become common over the last few months, not that she told anyone, but right now she was heading for a downward spiral.

Laying back down Andrea cover her face with her arm, wondering if sleeping pills would help her? Maybe a shower instead? Maybe today she could clean the apartment, move so things around, do something productive. She desperately tried to think of something to do, hating the fact that she went from being so strong, to so weak. Panic attacks were common after this kind of thing, if it even was a thing, she couldn't remember ever having to deal with the world nearly ending before.

Sitting up again she groaned, wanting to do something, needing to do something. Andrea knew why it was happening, on the ship, even on your days off, you still had something to do, the engine room was full of surprises, it was why she liked it, but now, with days off and nothing to do but stare at blank wall, it was no wondered she was becoming paranoid.

The ring of her phone stopped her thoughts.

" _Garnett."_

" _Andrea, it's Mike."_

" _Mike, hey, what's up?"_

" _I just wanted to check in." Andrea waited a minute before she answered him._

" _Am I getting reassigned?" It came out in such a hurried tone that Andrea wasn't sure if Mike caught what she'd said._

" _No. Why would you think that?"_

" _The CNO keeps giving me time off. I can still do my job, I'm not completely broken. I know panic attacks and sea battles are not the best combinations, but I didn't think it was that bad. He tells you everything, and…"_

" _Andrea, stop!" It was the first time Mike had raised his voice at her, but Andrea could tell that he didn't mean to._

" _Calm down, please. Just, give me ten minutes, I'll come over and we can talk."_

Andrea hung up the phone, sitting on her bed, wondering just what she'd done. Did she just do that? Was she coping?

Maybe she needed some help? Or maybe she just needed to pull herself out of this, and get on with what she was good at? This wasn't her, she was strong and confident, she didn't call people and cry she dealt with issues herself. This wasn't who she was. This wasn't her. Or, was it? Is this who she was now?

Laying back down again she let a few stray tears fall.

"Pull yourself together, woman," Andrea muttered to herself, before taking a deep breath.

"Pull yourself together…"

* * *

The next thing she knew Mike was making her a drink whilst she sat in her living room.

"I don't know what came over me, I just kept overthinking things." Andrea gave a weak explanation. Mike knew things had been hard, Andrea had been different since they visited her old home.

"That's okay. I spoke to Tom on the way over, he assures me that you're deploying with us." Mike told her, as he handed her a cup of tea, thinking that coffee wouldn't be the best thing for Andrea to drink.

"I want to go, I want to be doing something, but at the same time, I keep wondering if it's worth it." She watched as Mike sat down next to her.

"What do you think I should do?" She asked after a moment. Andrea wanted his opinion, she valued it. She had no one else to talk to about this, no one else really knew the pain she was in, and she knew Mike didn't fully understand, but he had been there with her. He had seen her at her lowest point after Lily died, he'd watched her fight for her life in the jungle and now he was watching her attempt to rebuild after losing everything.

"I don't know what you should do, but I'd worry about you being here on your own." Andrea smiled, knowing that deep down she would feel so lost if she stayed, because Mike was right, she would be alone. Mike was there for the most part, but the crew had stuck together, she had a support system when she was with them, she knew the moment the Nathan James left port that support would be gone.

"You're going to be okay, you're going to make it through this, we all are," Mike said in a hushed tone, waiting for Andrea to say something.

"I feel so lost and confused, I wake up in the middle of the night and I can't breathe, I lay in that room for hours and I end up a mess," Andrea started, rolling her eyes back to stop the tears.

"I was preparing myself for the goodbyes, for going back to that house, for it to finally be real and it took all my free time. Every spare moment I had was spent preparing to go back there and to lay them to rest, to close that door, and now I've done it, I feel lost."

"Do you feel lost, or do you just feel empty?"

"Both," Andrea replies in a whisper before sipping her drink. There was a beat of silence before Andrea looked over at Mike.

"Thank you, for being here. Since going back to the house…"

"We both knew it was going to take time, it wasn't going to happen overnight." Mike smiled.

"I wish it would. I want to move on with the memories, I want to be able to get up in a morning and get on with my day. Hell, I want to have a day off without being paranoid that everyone hates me." They both laughed at that.

Again, there was another beat of silence, Mike didn't know what to say. He'd spoken to Tom and Rios about Andrea and the panic attacks and he knew she'd hate him when she found out, but they needed to know. They needed to be able to support her.

"What do you say we go finish what we started?" Mike asked, placing a hand on her knee.

Andrea smiled, looking at him before nodding.

"Aye, Aye, Captain…"

* * *

That brings us to the end of part 14! Let me know what you thought, I really love to hear your views! Bethany.


	15. Chapter 15

**Time to Heal – Part 15.**

Super short chapter, but this is the beginning of a relationship and redeployment!

This is where the story takes a bit of a turn! I really wanted them in a relationship, so I am going to take that path, of course, they're still getting redeployed, Mike has two girls and what would the 'Last Ship' be without some drama? Let me know if you'd like to see more or if you'd like me to bring this to an end!

That really terrible moment when re reading your own work and realising you spelt 'whether' the wrong way. I am so sorry.

Reviews are loved and appreciated! Thank you for all the lovely reviews you left! Hope you enjoy!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

"I imagined something a bit more organised." Andrea commented, as she looked around Mike's living room.

"So, did I, my girls, on the other hand, didn't." Andrea smiled, sitting down on the couch, waiting for Mike to make the drinks. It had been a long day, for Andrea engineering had been broken up by meetings that could have been put into an email, and Mike's day had been broken up by meetings and paperwork.

"Maybe once they've settled they'll figure out what to keep at which house and how they want their rooms to look?" Andrea suggested. Mike only shrugged, his loved his girls but organisation and room décor had always been Christine's thing.

"I hope so. Hopefully, they'll begin to settle down a bit more when they feel at home." Mike looked around his apartment, it didn't look too bad, but Katie and Amy had left various things lying around, Mike made a mental note to text Christine, see if either of the girls needed anything before he left.

The pair fell into easy conversation, most of it being about the girls and leaving again.

"I saw Kara the other day, I think she's going to have her hands full with all the people who want to stay in touch," Andrea commented as she settled back into the couch.

"The girls have already said they'll be sending letting and photo's, so I guess it's something to look forward to." Mike watched Andrea as he spoke, not wanting to say anything that would upset her.

"That'll be nice, I found some more up to date photos of Lily in the photo albums I got, so I'm gonna take some of them." Andrea smiled.

"We'll be okay, out there, won't we?" Andrea asked, wondering if Mike would get the hint. Andrea had wanted to tell him for days, tell him that she was in love with him, and had been for a long time. It was clear they had feelings for each other, but neither of them had really said much on the subject, Mike was still trying to figure things out with his family and Andrea didn't feel ready, but now, now she did, she was ready to try something new. She told herself it wouldn't be too hard, everything would be the same, except she wouldn't run for the hill after she kissed him.

"Yeah, well, I assume so I guess it depends on how good of a job you did fixing the ship," Mike said, Andrea smiled a little, finding it amusing that he was completly oblivious.

"I meant between us…" Andrea moved slightly so she was facing him, waiting for Mike to catch onto what she was saying.

"I like you, Mike. I think, I might even love you, and it's not been the right time, and I doubt it ever will be the right time to talk about it, but we're going to be shipping out and I still want us to support each other. I don't want feelings to get in the way of our work or cause us any issues when working in close quarters." Andrea watched carefully, waiting for him to say something.

"We'll be fine, we just keep doing what we did before. Only this time we've actually admitted to feeling something." Mike shrugged it off, causing Andrea to laugh.

"I told you I was never very good at all of this…" He commented.

Andrea nodded, remembering the conversation, but still, she expected him to put a little more effort in. It was moments later when Andrea opened up to him when she told him her worries and about redeploying and a potential relationship.

"I'm worried that this will change things between us. I don't want to admit my feelings for you, redeploy and things change, I am still grieving and I know you are too. I lost everything, and you were there for me, you supported me and comforted me and that's what I need, I need love and support and comfort. I don't want to lose that by admitting that we're not just friends, I don't want to lose you…" Mike reached over to take her hand, shaking his head.

"That's not going to change, Andrea. We've made it up until now."

"Before now we didn't have a label on it."

"So, we don't label it." Andrea thought about it for a moment, before nodding.

Andrea took a moment before she decided to be brave, she was here and he was with her and she felt content, she felt happy and that was something she hadn't felt in a long time.

"You know, a woman normally likes to be kissed, instead of having to kiss someone else." Andrea smiled, blushing slightly. Well, she liked this side of her personality better than the woman who lays in bed staring at blank walls.

"Pretty big hint, XO," Mike muttered before he leaned in to kiss her. This time, not be afraid to touch her body and not being afraid of what could happen tomorrow. Much like her, Mike was content.

They were healing. Finally.

* * *

How did you like it? Please let me know what you want me to do, I have a lot more planned, but it's all down to you guys! Bethany.


	16. Chapter 16

**Time to Heal – Part 16.**

I personally like this chapter, but it is a little one the 'out of character' side. I am trying to make my chapters as long as possible, so I hope you enjoy what I have! Sorry for any mistakes!

Please let me know if you want more!

Reviews are always loved and appreciated! Thank you for all the reviews on the other chapters! Enjoy!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

Although it felt strange, Andrea couldn't help but feel comfortable lying next to someone. She was sure Mike was awake. He didn't seem like a heavy sleeper, but then again, after what they'd been through, she was sure everyone was having nightmares. Despite lying awake and knowing Mike would most likely be awake too, it didn't seem right to just start a conversation. The clock on the nightstand read 4:24, which meant they had a few hours before they were needed on the ship for their briefing before they had to begin the journey to finish what they'd started.

Nothing had happened the night before, Andrea knew mentally it would be a while before she was ready for that step, before she was ready to have anyone touch her like that, still she was grieving the loss of her husband, she could handle the kisses that she and Mike shared but anything more gave her flashbacks of her time in the jungle, all she'd endured, pirates with wandering eyes and wandering hands, but last night, much to her surprise Mike seemed okay with it, they just laid together, taking in all the comforts of sharing a bed with someone, being close to someone and knowing that they had feelings for each other, to share a bed with someone who loved them.

After a few more minutes, Andrea moved to a sitting position, smiling over at Mike who'd caught her eye.

"Morning…" Andrea said, although her voice was quiet a scratchy, she certainly needed some coffee. She knew today would be a long day. The days on which they shipped out always where. Getting the ship ready, double checking everything from the engines to their weapons, it was hours before the crew could settle in which made it another few hours before they were on their way to wherever they were going.

"Morning," Mike said, sitting up, rubbing a hand over his face, looking over at the alarm clock on the night stand before checking his phone. He half expected to see a text from Christine, since arriving home, Christine made a point to text him each morning, to tell him how the girls had slept and their plans for the day, despite no longer being together, Mike was thankful that Christine wanted him to be close to Amy and Katie.

"You should go and see your girls," Andrea said, after a moment, although her sentence wasn't thought through.

"I doubt they'll be up yet, I doubt anyone is awake yet, but later, I plan to say goodbye to them. I know it won't be easy, but I am hoping they can get through it. For the hundredth time, Christine will feel like a single parent and the girls will have to rely on emails, letters and poor-quality video calls to see me." Mike smiled, wondering just how hard it would be for him to leave, wondering if they'd be tears, knowing that it would break him inside.

Andrea laid back down for a moment, she'd been wondering if or not to get out of bed and although she wanted coffee, she also wanted the warmth the covers provided. She would get up and make coffee in a minute when she'd convinced herself walking through his cold apartment was worth it.

"I think Christine might be used to it. Bill said by the fifth deployment after Lily was born, he was happy to play the stay at home dad, he said the hardest thing was watching Lily cry when I left. I guess before the pandemic, your kids were older, but now, it'll be different." Andrea mused aloud.

After a moment, she sighed, rolling over to look at him.

"Sorry, that's not helpful." Mike shook his head but chuckled at the same time.

"Not really, XO. I just want them to be okay, I want them to understand that I am doing this for them too. I want to finish what we started, yes for me and the crew, but also so they don't have to live in fear, there will always be things to be scared of, but a deadly virus and World War Three shouldn't be on that list of things." Mike told her, the reality of leaving had hit him weeks ago when he'd told his girls he would be going away for six months, but today, the reality was a little stronger, he considered himself a strong man, but he would never be able to take his girls upset and in tears, it broke his heart a thousand times over.

The two settled into silence, Andrea was still trying to convince herself to get up and get some coffee, the constant thought of how long today would be. Unlike Mike, she didn't have the emotional pain of leaving, she had no one to leave behind, she'd carry her loved ones with her, but still her heart broke for Mike, she'd seen him through most of it, sat with him, the both of them comforted each other on their worst days and laughed with each other when needed. Andrea had seen how happy Mike was when he found out Christine, Amy and Katie were alive, and despite the heartbreak she felt, there was a part of her that was so happy for him, knowing he would get that second chance, she just hoped that Amy and Katie would wait around for another six months so he could be a father again.

"I want you to meet them, properly," Mike said, breaking Andrea's thoughts.

She turned to look at him, frowning slightly. She wanted to meet his daughters, she'd heard so much about them, and she assumed both of them were as tough as nails to survive what they did, but right now didn't seem like the right time. Certainly not today, or even when the crew got back. She couldn't even imagine how the girls would feel. To watch their brother die, survive a deadly virus, to then get their father back, only for weeks later to hear the news of their mum and dad splitting up, to then dealing with the pain of their dad deploying, for him to come home, happy with a new girlfriend she doubted the girls would accept it, she assumed it would crush them.

"I think we should get this mission done, and figure out if we can still stand the sight of each other before we begin introducing me to your girls, and maybe you should let them heal a bit more, they're still processing the hell they've been through." Andrea chuckled, trying to make a joke out of it, before being serious. Still, each time he mentioned Katie or Amy, she couldn't help but feel a hint of hurt and jealousy in the pit of her stomach, knowing that he had what she didn't. A second chance.

"I'm going to make some coffee, would you like some?" Andrea asked, getting up before Mike could say anything else. Despite having nothing to lose, as the time ticked away she was getting more and more nervous about deploying, she was nervous about her relationship with Mike, if it would stay the same, she still had a lot of things to deal with, she was still struggling to accept the fact that both her husband and daughter were gone, however much she made out she was okay, she knew it would be months, possibly years, before the pain dulled and it got easier, she was still hurting over the fact she would never get to bury them, or say goodbye like she felt she needed to.

"Sure." Mike smiled, watching her leave the room, dressed in only underwear and a vest top. Mike smiled at the sight, his mind wondered, after a moment he gained some more focus, right now he needed to think of his daughters and the mission. He and Andrea would be fine, he would make sure of it on the ship, but right now, he needed to say goodbye to his daughters and reassure them that it would be okay and that he was doing this for a safer world, and when he got back, they would start over.

Mike waited a few more minutes before he too decided to get up, knowing today would be hard, not only for him and his daughters but for Andrea too, he wanted to be prepared. He only hoped he could be there for her. Admittedly, it was easier for him this time, he knew the fate of his marriage, and despite the hurt it caused, he knew Christine and his girls would be safe. Andrea, on the other hand, was still grieving, and as much as Mike knew she wanted to be on the Nathan James and put up a strong front, he also knew it would hurt, leaving again would only delay both the grieving and the healing.

Andrea appeared only moments later with two cups of coffee. She waited a moment before sitting back down on the bed, watching him only for a moment before she spoke up, after sipping her coffee, thankful for the warmth it gave her, praying it would get her through the morning at least.

"We need to stay professional on the ship. I think we know we're always going to need the support of one another, and I know that this is going to be hard for the both of us, but I think it would be best if we remained just friends for this six-month tour, and then when we get back, depending on how much we hate each other, we can see where to take, whatever this is." Andrea said quietly.

"I thought we already established what this is?" Mike asked, adding some humour into the conversation.

"No, we established feelings, that was all," Andrea said before taking another sip of her coffee.

"Going back out to sea will surely bring up a lot of memories, for the both of us. I know the yearly mark is coming around for a lot of people. I wasn't planning on letting you cope with that on your own, and honestly, I was hoping you would still be there if I needed you, but Andrea, staying friends might not be that easy…" Mike tried to keep his voice level, as he told her that being just friends was not something he could do. He knew the ship would bring back memories of the trial, the deaths they saw, the people they'd lost at sea. For a lot of people, it would be the anniversary of the death of loved ones, including Lucas and Lily.

Andrea took a deep breath, but Mike spoke before she could.

"Fine, but we need to stay professional, everything we're doing is against the rules, and I don't think I can deal with the repercussions." Mike smiled, he knew it would be bad, especially if Tom found out first, but despite all of that he knew deep down he and Andrea were no longer friends, although they'd hadn't put a name on it, he would go as far to say that they were lovers.

"You want to put our feelings on hold until we get back," Mike told her in the simplest way he could.

"Yes. I want us both to finish what we started, I want to just know that one thing is certain before we do this…" Again, she gestured between the two of them.

Mike chuckled a little, nodding in understanding.

"Well, XO, if this is the point where this…" He gestured between the two of them. "Gets put on hold, I think you should leave my apartment, don't you?"

Andrea nodded, putting down her mug, and looking around for the rest of her clothing. She wasn't sure what would happen now, but she was pleased he understood, maybe they couldn't just be friends at this point, but she was sure she couldn't be his 'girlfriend' not right now, and definitely not on the ship.

* * *

After a short ten minutes, she was dressed and had splashed herself with freezing water to wake herself up, even more, still not being able to shake the feeling of today being a long and draining day. She told herself she would shower and get ready properly once she was in her own apartment, only a five-minute walk away from Mike's. She needed to get ready at her own pace and make sure she had everything, a ritual that stuck with her since the Academy. Bill was also good with taking Lily out on the mornings of her deployments, arriving back home just moments before she needed to leave the house.

In that ten minutes, Mike had also put on some clothes and was waiting in the kitchen, his camouflage navy bag open on the kitchen table, Andrea was willing to bet that he too had a ritual on the day of deployment, and knowing that he wanted to see Amy and Katie, she wanted him to be alone so he could really focus on the girls, before focusing on the mission. From this point on she would not be important, feelings had been put on hold as best they could, and when she left his apartment, she only hoped he would focus on the two most important things at the time, his daughters and the task at hand.

"I'll see you in a few hours, Captain." Andrea picked up her keys off the coffee table, watching him as he moved towards her.

"Andrea…" Mike reached out to take her hand before she could leave.

There was a beat of silence before Mike cupped her cheek, leaning down to kiss her a final time.

"XO." Mike nodded after pulling back slightly.

"Captain…" And with that Andrea left his apartment, knowing the next time she saw him, he would be exactly that, he would be her Captain.

* * *

"It's only six months and I promise I will call you at every chance I get," Mike told his girls, only an hour later. The girls both had tears in their eyes and he could see Christine stood in the kitchen, a sad smile on her face as she watched Mike speak to their children.

"I'm going to miss you, dad." Mike's heart broke slightly, but he knew this was what he needed to do.

"I'm going to miss you both so much, but you're going to be safe here, with mum. I'm going to speak to you every week, we can video call when you want, and if you need me urgently, then your mum has Kara's number." Mike explained, despite the girls being in their teens, it was never going to be easy, leaving them after the hell they'd been through. Seeing that his words were making no difference, he squeezed both their hands, before telling them he loved them.

"I love you both so, so much." Mike pulled them into a hug, knowing that within minutes he would be gone and that would be the last time he saw them for six months.

"I love you too, dad."

"I love you, dad, I'm going to miss you." His heart shattered once again, but he needed to be positive, he was doing this for them, as well as for him. A part of his felt so happy to know that they loved him, and the hell they'd been through hadn't changed that, but no matter how happy he was to hear the 'I love you' he knew he wanted, and needed it to be under better circumstances.

Mike left a short while after, and couldn't fight the tears that fell as he got back into his jeep to drive the short distance back to the naval base. He'd said his goodbyes to Christine, gave her a hug and told her to call Kara is she needed anything at all. Despite the breakdown of the marriage he was always going to be there for her, and even now, leaving her with the girls was hard.

It would be a while before he got over Christine, they'd been together since high school, and no matter what, she would always be the mother of his children, and he knew for that sole reason a part of his heart would always belong to her. He knew he would also do all he could to provide for her to make sure she was safe, the girls couldn't lose their mother, and he couldn't lose her either, she was the one to thank for the three best things in his life, despite Lucas no longer being with him, Christine gave him his children, he would always love her for that, even if they couldn't save what they had.

* * *

Thank you for reading! I really wanted to add in Mike's feelings about Christine, so I hope it was good enough. Reviews are loved and appreciated! Bethany.


	17. Chapter 17

**Time to Heal – Part 17. **

Part 17 is here! Again, a lot of feelings, but I added in some conversation for you guys as well!

Any mistakes are my own!

Reviews are loved and appreciated, I am so grateful for all the reviews you left on the last chapter!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

Andrea felt at home the moment she stepped onto the Nathan James. She was one of the first people to be on the bridge, dressed in her white uniform, with her hair perfectly done. It hadn't taken her that long to get ready, and although she knew getting to the ship early would make no difference to what time they left, which she knew would be exactly on schedule with Tom and Mike in charge, she still made her way to where she needed to be, bags and equipment with her. She made conversation with Russ while she waited for her name and gear to be checked off the list, both of them joking about new recruits and saying how good it was to be back.

She made her way through the ship down to the engine room, despite being the XO, she knew Tom would be spending a lot of his time on the bridge with Mike, both of them making tough decisions with the help of Alisha and Sasha, so she was prepared and happy with the thought of spending a lot of her time in the engine room with other engineers. It felt like home, more so than the ship did, she once described it to Bill as being a teenager, if the ship was home, the engine room was definitely her bedroom, where she felt comfortable and safe, despite all the safety hazards in the lower parts of the ship.

She'd worked hard to get the ship back to top form, working close to 20-hour days to keep on schedule and make sure the Nathan James was fully fixed up, plus the extra measures she took to ensure they could literally live at sea if they needed to. The ship's water and food supply had been tripled, medical equipment was the best the Navy had and all systems had been rewired and reset. The Nathan James was once again ready to fight. Andrea was proud of that, and even more so of the team she had around her, they put in as much effort as she did and she saw potential in a lot of them, she made sure to note their names to give to Tom, so when the time was right they could rise through the ranks. Her old Commander once told her that when she got to his rank she would choose people, choose the people that would one day fill her position. At the time she didn't believe him, but the more she worked on the ship, and the more effort she and others put in to fix the Nathan James, she understood what he meant. Andrea had chosen a few engineers who she really wanted to work with for the next six months, to see if they could really handle the engineers of a warship that was now the most famous in the world.

Knowing that she had engineers to train and keep an eye on, as well as a Naval Destroyer to maintain, she didn't feel the need to be on the bridge as much as an XO should. The ship was under good command with the CNO and Captain, she would cover when needed, but despite no longer being the Chief Engineer, she was pleased to carry out her old role.

Stopping in the engine room she looked around, she knew it wouldn't stay clean for long, it never did. The engine room was loud and dirty, it was an accident waiting to happen after the first two weeks, but it was something Andrea loved. She felt at home on the ship, and she felt useful fixing it, and she was comforted by the fact that she would never run out of things to do.

Andrea hoped the next time she stepped foot on the Nathan James would be to train up new recruits, to spend four months at sea training the next generation of US Naval Officers. She wondered if after that she would come back, she'd enjoyed her time in dry dock, working for the bases Engineering Department, and the more she worked on the ship, fixing her up to be seaworthy, the more she wondered if she would come back, she wondered if this would be her last tour. That was if she survived the next six months, still grieving the loss of her baby girl, dealing with all the feelings she had for the Captain, and knowing that she would witness more heartache and feel more sadness, maybe she was more cut out of life on the base, keeping her feet firmly on the concrete?

Either way, Mike was right, the crew of the Nathan James needed to finish what it started. It needed to spread the cure Dr Scott had died for, and stop World War Three just like the President had promised. Once she had done that, she would focus on everything else, but even Andrea knew nothing worked out as planned. One thing was clear though, she was in this to finish what they'd all started.

* * *

Mike enjoyed having his own command, but after the last time, after losing so many people, after the night club, the jungle and the pain, he was happy to have Tom on the bridge with him. Tom had spent hours in that office trying to do all he could to make sure the crew had everything they needed for the next six months, Mike had been a part of all the meetings, phone calls and meetings in the new White House to put this mission together, he'd seen the good, the bad and the ugly of just about everyone he knew who were all working as hard as they could to make sure the crew was prepared for whatever it faced next.

The families of those on board had round the clock protection and the addresses to multiple safe houses that Tom had personally set up in his role of CNO, and possibly his role as a father, it made Mike feel a little better about being away. He was sure it made everyone else feel a little bit better about the mission, knowing this time, their families were going to be safe and no one would have to fight for their lives like they did before.

Mike looked around, it was good to be back, which, was something he knew he would feel, he would now get to finish what he started. Then, he could go home and really focus on his girls, and on Andrea, but he wouldn't admit that, not just yet anyway. The thought of the redhead caused him to look around, shocked not to see her in the XO's chair. He would have been worried, but she was an engineer, and always had been, and probably always would be. If not bossing the boys around in the loading bay she would be down in the engine room making sure everything was in order, potentially fixing something already, Mike was willing to bet that she'd already gotten changed, hanging up her white dress uniform, and putting on her engineer's uniform, already reading engine reports despite the ship still being stationary.

Mike had a plan now, finish what they started. It wasn't the best plan, nor was it straight forward but it was what he was going to do. He'd made his peace with before, and he was going to work his ass off when they got back to make it right between him and his daughter as well as him and Christine. That would be the hardest part, but he needed to do this first, he needed to make it up to them in a safe world, where they didn't face a major threat of a world war or another outbreak. He was doing this for them, so his two daughters could grow up in a safe place, a safe world, so they could travel and do all they wanted to without the major risks or fears that they were now facing.

It was Christine who seemed to understand why he was leaving, despite being so angry with him for leaving so soon after getting them all back, but after he explained, after he told her he needed to finish what he started she seemed to understand. She was the one to tell him that despite everything else, despite the hurt and the anger, she could see why he wanted to make the world a better place for the two children he still had with him.

He took it that Christine would make her peace with it. She would eventually come to accept it like she did every other time he shipped out, but this time was different, it would always be different, the world wasn't what it used to be, she would constantly worry about her safety and the safety of both the girls, Mike had told her that he was doing this so she wouldn't have to worry constantly, so they could feel safe and then when he got back they could rebuild properly, they could work things out. He was sure he'd said it over 100 times and a part of him already knew he would keep having to explain himself, but if him explaining himself over and over meant that Christine and his daughters were safe and felt safe and that he had a better relationship with the three of them, then that's what he would keep doing.

"Ready, Captain?" Tom asked as he walked onto the bridge, glancing around at the other members of the crew.

"Let's finish what we started." Mike told him with a smile, six months and then they could all go home, six months to finish what they all started and make the world a better and safer place.

* * *

They were two days out of port when Andrea saw Mike on the bridge, both of them started a conversation with Tom about destinations and fuel, causing Andrea to laugh, telling both men she'd made sure they had enough fuel to get around the earth twice, which was something they both seemed happy about, after Tom had said how he expected nothing less from her. The conversation ended with Tom taking watch, offering before the others could say anything else, so without argument, just like they'd learnt, both Mike and Andrea left so they could talk about their options when they arrived in Asia.

Mike wondered if Tom just wanted to be alone and that's why he'd offered to take over the watch, but he knew better than to ask. The man had lost everything and then said goodbye to his kids, telling them he'd be back in six months. Tom needed some time alone to focus on the job.

"How are the engines looking?" Mike asked, sitting down at his desk once he and Andrea had reached his cabin.

"A lot better than they were the last time I saw them at sea." Andrea smiled, less than a year was such a short space of time to fix a multimillion-dollar warship.

"Glad to hear it." Mike watched her for a moment, motioning to the couch so she could sit down, once she did, she picked up one of the newspapers Mike had on the small coffee table and began to go through it. Mike didn't know if it was recent or not but Andrea didn't seem to mind.

"How are you holding up?" He asked after moments of silence, he'd been organising papers on his desk, navigation reports and some notes from Sasha about entering Asia and what was needed in order to be safe.

"I feel more at home here than I did on the base. I'm not sure if I should be worried about that or pleased." Mike could only nod, he didn't know what to say, although she seemed fine now, he could tell she was struggling, her 20-hour work days told him that, but he didn't want to say too much, out of fear of bringing up the past.

"I've been thinking…" Andrea began, putting down the newspaper.

"Maybe you should tell Tom, about what's been going on, between us." Mike knew it was personal the moment she said 'Tom' and not 'the CNO'.

"I didn't think there was anything between us?" He was trying to keep the tone light, but he knew he'd have to give her a straight answer sooner rather than later

"Mike, I know what I said, and I want us to still be professional, but it's harder than it looks to push feelings aside and put them on hold, more so in close quarters." Mike held back a laugh.

"We can be professional. We managed to stay professional before, we were still able to support each other, I don't see why we can't do that now." Mike shrugged, he saw the big deal, and he knew what Andrea was talking about, but to him, he could make this simple, he knew he could be professional, he managed it after she kissed him the first time, he just knew that this time around he would have to try a little harder.

"I just want to make it through these six months, I want to know we did all we could to spread that cure and stop China from doing something stupid…" Andrea said with a sad smile standing up to move towards Mike's desk.

"We will, then when we get home, we can talk about this, properly," Mike told her, leaning back in his chair, folding his arms.

"We like each other, a lot, we just can't show it." Andrea nodded slowly at what Mike was saying, but didn't give him a reply, he was right this time, like he had been right before about putting feelings on hold while away.

There was a moment of silence between the two of them, before Andrea moved away from Mike's desk, standing up straight and smoothing down her uniform. Mike could tell the conversation was over, and that Andrea would leave despite the conversations that needed to be had about arriving in Asia. Mike knew they could do it tomorrow, they still had time, weeks even, before they reached their destination.

"Anything else, XO?" Andrea shook her head, waiting a moment to see that he didn't need anything else before heading towards the door.

"Andrea…" She turned around when he said her name, dropping her hand from the door handle, waiting for whatever he said, he'd said her name, but she still told herself to stay professional, and remember the ranks, not wanting to get into another personal conversation when work needed to be done, and when she had just admitted that he was right, pushing feeling aside was hard, and she knew it sounded bad coming from her, because it was her who made it such a big deal. A part of her wished it could just be simple, she liked him, she didn't know how else to put it. One half of her wanted to be open, but the other half knew it was against the rules, the rules that she had played by since she was eighteen years old.

"Sir." She managed after a moment.

"Feelings or not, I'm still going to be here when you need me." She nodded with a tight smile, forcing herself to give a short answer.

"Likewise, Sir." Once she spoke she was quick to open the door, and step out into the passageway hoping not to get called back a second time. She wanted to work right now, she needed to work right now.

* * *

I hope it was something good to read, like always reviews are loved and appreciated. Bethany.


	18. Chapter 18

**Time to Heal – Part 18.**

Part 18 is here, I feel like I am bit better at writing Andrea than I am Mike, but I still hope this makes you feel a little emotional!

A little note, me and timelines don't work, at all. So, I am making this the one-year mark for deaths and losses. Also, I feel as though I should mention, while I know this story starts after the crew return to the ship after being kidnapped and held in the jungle, that's also where it ends, the end of season three didn't happen in this story, they went back to the US, and then redeployed again and all the kids are safe! Hopefully, it won't make too much of a difference, and you're still enjoying this.

Reviews are loved and super appreciated! Like always thank you so much for the reviews!

Enjoy!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

Mike wanted to say he woke up, but the truth was he never slept. Today was the day he'd been dreading. Today would mark one full year since Lucas died and he didn't know how to deal with it, or if he should deal with it at all. He'd cried, he and Andrea had spoken about his feelings, but today would still be hard, but then again, every day was hard knowing that Lucas was no longer with them, but today the thought was at the forefront of his mind and he knew it wouldn't go away. Mike was sure Andrea knew, maybe not the exact date, or she probably did, it wasn't like she wasn't told when it happened, Mike was sure at some point he had mentioned it, possibly when he and Andrea were talking after one of Andrea's shifts down in the engine room, when they were both so tired, but unable to sleep, either way he was sure she knew something was wrong, maybe from the way he was with her, maybe through all of the short replies and the slamming of doors, which, took some doing on a destroyer, but he managed it somehow.

He wasn't surprised or annoyed when he saw her sitting on the couch in his cabin, he wondered how she got in, but then again, she knew every inch of this ship, and how to access every inch of this ship. He knew he locked the door before he left, but he didn't care, not right now. Admittedly, he was just pleased to see someone, more so pleased to see her, despite feelings and kisses he was happy to see someone who understood how it felt, he knew she wouldn't leave, a part of him wanted to be alone, but the other half was comforted knowing that Andrea wouldn't judge him for whatever happened next, for whatever he did or said, it was all part of the grieving process, today being more raw than others had been. It would kill Mike a little each day knowing that his only son wasn't at home with his mother and sisters, but it was days like today when he couldn't get the words Christine had said out of his head.

" _He's gone, Mike. Lucas is gone…"_

"You should have taken the day off," Andrea commented with a small smile breaking Mike's train of thought. He wasn't sure how long he'd been stood there staring at her, but her tone of voice told him that Andrea didn't mind.

"Like you did?" Andrea laughed a little remembering Lily's birthday, as Mike moved further into his cabin, sitting down on the couch next to Andrea, probably a little closer than was necessary, but Mike needed the comfort, both the physical and emotional comfort.

"Not one of my best days."

"Would you like to talk about it? We can just sit here in silence if you'd like." Andrea tried to remember all the things that helped her, but it changed from day to day. Sometimes she wanted to talk, but other times she just wanted to sit in silence and have someone hold her hand. She hoped that one of her suggestions would help Mike, even just a little bit, so maybe he could sleep, or at least relax.

Despite being close, Mike was the strong one. He had gotten upset before, sure, but nothing like this. Nothing like what he was feeling now. Andrea had partly expected it, Mike was going to hit a wall at some point. He would wake up one day and it would all be too much for him, it had happened to Andrea many times, and she wondered it if had happened to Mike, maybe in the days after being told the fate of his son? Either way, that was then and this is now, and she was going to help him through this.

"I never got a chance to say goodbye, I didn't realise how much it would hurt until now. I saw you suffer, and I thought I would get through it, but I can't help but think about the 'what if's'. If he was here would I have a shot at saving my marriage? Would it have been easier for the girls?" Mike sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. Everything seemed to link together, the last year had been a lot of separate events that were all tangled into one, one 'what if' lead to another, and before Mike realised, he was questioning everything.

Thinking about his boy, thinking about the hell his girls endured, the fate of his marriage, the lives lost at sea, it all came together, like separate movies playing at the same time, until he could no longer focus.

"We all think about what could have happened, and it's going to be like that for a long time, and I know it's hard and right now it won't make that much of a difference, but you need to remember the good times." Andrea wanted to laugh at her own words, they'd never helped her much either, but it was all she had.

"Just, sit with me?" It was a question, but they both knew the answer. Andrea nodded, stretching her arm so she could hold Mike's hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze before looking over at her, truly grateful that she was there. Yes, he had helped her through hell, but he did it because at first, he was her Captain, then a friend, and not long after that because he was falling for her, but not once did he expect her to hold his hand while he broke down in tears. It was nice to have her there, and although he wanted to tell her it wasn't expected, he knew she wouldn't leave, and that was giving him some comfort.

Mike wasn't a talkative person, more so when it came to his feelings, so Andrea expected nothing more than the silence that settled in the room. The thing was, she felt comfortable, it hurt like hell, memories of Lily's birthdays being dragged up while Mike grieved for his son, but she felt comfortable with him, grieving with him, she felt as though she could cry and scream, and she hoped Mike felt comfortable to cry and scream and get mad if that's what he needed, they could hurt together, and despite that being such a horrible thought, it was also nice to have someone who understood.

Mike made the healing process bearable for her, he made it slightly easier, a little less painful, more so now that they admitted their feelings for one another, but even before that, she saw a side of him that she assumed few had done, and her only hope was that she made the healing process a little easier for him. She wanted him to feel comfortable and safe and in a little less pain. That was the worst part about sitting in silence with him, knowing that he was in pain. Losing a child, losing member of the crew, losing his marriage, it wasn't just emotional, it was a physical pain, an ache in your chest and in your heart, that made it hard to breathe, that made you feel ill, and that really was the worst part for Andrea, knowing that Mike was in pain because he would never get to see his son again, and that was something she had felt.

Andrea only hoped their shared pain would bring them closer together, making them stronger.

* * *

An hour or so passed and still, Andrea and Mike sat on the couch in his cabin, holding hands in silence, neither of them had moved, sometimes turning heads towards the door when they heard voices or footsteps. It was late, they knew that much, but it didn't bother either of them. No one had come to ask for them, although Andrea knew that soon she would need to leave, if Mike still needed her, she could make her excuses.

Mike had opened his mouth a few times to speak, but nothing came out, he didn't know what to say.

"You could call the girls, even just to say goodnight. Maybe see how Christine is doing?" Andrea suggested although her voice was quiet, wondering if calling Christine would be for the best, she too would be having the day from hell, made even worse having to look after the girls who would surely be upset knowing that a year had passed since they lost their brother, the helplessness they must have felt watching him suffer knowing nothing could be done.

Andrea blinked a few times not wanting to think about it. Her thoughts about Lucas dying only reminded her of Lily, and that wouldn't help either her and Mike.

"What would I say to Christine?" Andrea stayed quiet, she didn't know. She didn't know if Christine would want to talk to anyone, but she was sure both Amy and Katie would like to hear from their father, especially on a day like today.

"Call your girls, Mike. Let them know you love them." Andrea could only say to him what she would do. She was a daughter, she had a daughter, she knew that sometimes you just needed a father's love, and even if he couldn't be there, she knew how much it would mean to them to hear Mike's voice, to know he was okay, to hear him say 'I love you' and 'goodnight'.

Mike nodded but didn't move. He thought about how he would feel different tomorrow, he even felt different now, his heart still hurt at the thought of Lucas not being with them, but he knew that after just sitting and being able to think and get all of his emotions out he could get up tomorrow and get through the day. He'd told Andrea that everyone copes in different ways, and today he had to remind himself of that, he had to tell himself that he was allowed to cry, because even though he wasn't with Lucas or Christine, he was still a father and a husband, and to know what they'd had to endure broke his heart a million times over.

"I need to get back to the engine room, but I can stay a little longer if you'd like me to." Andrea broke the silence, she was watching Mike carefully, his eyes were beginning to fill with unshed tears and although she knew she would stay and hold his hand while he cried, she didn't think he was that kind of man.

Mike shook his head.

"You should go boss the lads around. I think I'm going to call the girls. Thank you for staying, you didn't have to." Andrea smiled a little, shaking her head, she knew he'd try and brush it off as if it were nothing.

' _Men',_ she thought.

"I did, and you know it. You spent all that time helping me, what kind of person would I be if I wasn't here to help you? You told me that we all cope in different ways, I spent weeks crying and then weeks pushing myself into work and for the most part, it helped, if you need to spend hours sitting here in silence to get through this, then that's what we'll do." Andrea told him with a small shrug, not sure what else to say, she just hoped he understood what she meant.

"I didn't expect it, I still don't expect you to sit here…" Mike couldn't finish his sentence, but Andrea understood.

"I know, but I want to. You got me through some of the toughest days of my life, and I want to be here to get you through yours." Andrea gave his hand a gentle squeeze before standing up.

Mike didn't reply, instead, he made a mental note to thank her properly tomorrow. When he had more focus and he could make a joke out of something, or when they could both think about something more than the death of their children.

A few more minutes passed before Mike realised he did need to call his daughters, to say goodnight, to say 'I love you' and to just hear their voices so he could make it through the next few days aboard the ship.

* * *

Days passed and Mike seemed to be doing a little better, Andrea found herself sitting in silence with him, which, admittedly helped the both of them, but she knew it was helping Mike more, because the more they sat in silence, the more talkative he seemed to be the next day when she saw him.

Which was on the deck only four days after the anniversary of Lucas' death. Andrea had walked over to him, thankful she had someone to talk to on her short break. She'd remembered her thoughts about training new engineers, but there was always one that would test her patience, but unfortunately, they needed a team, and with the lack of Naval personnel. She had to work with what they gave her.

"I'll say it again, I love being at sea, but god the ocean can be boring," Mike commented as he and Andrea leant against the railings watching the water, listening to the sound of shots being fired into targets to the left of them by the new recruits who were in the middle of their training.

"In the day, I can cope, but at night, more so after I found out about Lily, I would come and stand for hours, and it got to your head, just staring into the darkness." Mike turned to look at her, and the moment he turned his head Andrea knew she shouldn't have said anything, because a sarcastic comment would hit her at any moment, but a part of her felt happy that Mike was returning to his old self as much as possible.

"You scared of the water, XO?" Mike asked with a smirk. Andrea glared at him for a minute or so before shrugging slightly.

"It's not my favourite thing, sir." She replied, waiting for whatever comment he shot back, knowing that he wouldn't let her live it down.

"You're in the Navy," Mike commented as if she didn't know, a slight hint of surprise in his voice.

"I am well aware of that." Andrea shot back, while Mike laughed, not caring about whoever could hear them, he was just shocked at her unintentional confession.

"You're scared of the water, yet you chose the Navy, the very definition of The Navy is a fleet of waterborne military vessels." Andrea glared at him again, not sharing his amusement on the subject.

"Military vessels that still need fixing and maintaining. If I was that scared I would have joined the Air Force, wouldn't I." Andrea shot back sarcastically.

Mike was still chuckling to himself, looking between the water and his XO.

Andrea shook her head, waiting another moment, before looking at him and opening her mouth to speak.

"If you'll excuse me, Captain, I have a waterborne military vessel to maintain." Her tone was filled with sarcasm as she pushed herself off the railing and walked away, leaving Mike smiling to himself.

He realised he still had a lot to learn about her, and with that thought, for the first time in weeks, he was looking forward to going home and being able to rebuild and restart, more so if it meant time with his daughter and time spent getting to know Andrea.

* * *

Thank you for reading, please let me know what you thought of this chapter! Bethany.


	19. Chapter 19

**Time to Heal – Part 19.**

Again, I am running out of things to say. This is certainly not my best work, I feel I am not the best at writing any kind of action scene, so it is a little boring compared to some of the other stories on here.

Just a little note, I have no idea about ships, or oil or fuel or what to do after a pandemic, so this really is 'fanfiction' I tried my best to make it believable, but I hope you'll forgive whatever mistakes I make!

Reviews are very loved and welcome. Thank you again for all the lovely reviews.

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.  
**

* * *

"A team of engineers lead by Garnett will be going to the dock. I've got Wolf and Green going with them, they shouldn't be any longer than an hour." Mike nodded along to what Tom was saying, knowing that putting a time scale on things rarely worked when it came to missions like this one.

Oil. They needed more oil for the engines or something, and something out of a control tower, most possibly electronics. He had heard Andrea talking about it, and he got most of the conversation, hearing that since the pandemic oil had been hard to come by and according to Andrea is could be used to power some of the electrical equipment on the ship should they need it.

Mike realised part way through the conversation he didn't care why, well a part of him did, but he was more concerned with them being in one location for a lengthy period. As well as Andrea, he knew he shouldn't be, she was more than capable, but there was still the thought in the back of his mind from last time. The last time Andrea had left the ship to restock on fuel she ended up with a metal fragment in her leg and in sick bay for close to four weeks.

"We'll stay off the docks, they'll travel in two teams, get what they need and get back again," Tom said. Mike scanned the paperwork, something else that he didn't really care about, but was doing anyway.

"Let's get to it then," Mike said after finishing his coffee and closing the file in front of him, wanting to make this trip as simple as possible, the ship was a target, but the ship being stationary for an hour, made it an easy target.

* * *

Andrea lifted her bag onto her shoulder, she wasn't sure she'd need all the equipment in it, but it was better to be safe than sorry, or safe than dead. That was the one thing that didn't sit well with her, she was carrying a gun. She knew how to use it, but up until this point, she'd never had to, all her battles had been fought either on the ship or through hand to hand combat.

The mission was simple, get to the docks, get what they needed, in this case, oil and whatever tools they found that could become useful and get out. The place had been deserted since the outbreak, but, they needed to be careful. She had spent days trying to convince herself they could make it to Asia, but with all of the problems they had last time, she didn't want to be put in that situation again, and she knew that she would feel better about the maintenance of the ship if she had what she needed from the abandoned docks.

Looking around at the team she knew they could get the job done safely, she just wanted it to be quick and without her getting stabbed in the leg, or anywhere else for that matter.

"Ready, ma'am?" She looked up at Green and Wolf.

"Ready,"

* * *

Mike watched from the Captain's chair, he could see the small boat in the distance but that was it. CIC kept giving him numbers, how close they were, the time estimation and something about wind speed that he didn't think affected them anyway. It would have to be some pretty strong wind to capsize a Naval Destroyer, but he listened anyway.

Green and Wolf had said they'd check in once they get to the docks, and give 10-minute updates while they worked with the engineers to get what they needed.

"Approaching the docks now, sir. Everything looks abandoned…" Wolf's accent could be heard on the bridge.

"Keep an eye out, we haven't had confirmation of life, but if they're hiding they may see you as a threat." Tom put in, grabbing the binoculars to see if he could see any clearer.

"Boys, you know the drill. Get what we need and get out as quickly as possible." Andrea said with a light tone as they stepped onto land.

"Ma'am, I saw a small rig to the right of us, didn't look much more than a few meters out, if they followed regulations they would have stores fuel, oil and water in high rigs and pipelines." Andrea nodded in understanding, she was teaching the, well.

"Take Green, go check it out, I'll stick with Wolf and Patterson, we'll try and find some pipelines." Andrea looked between Wolf and Green, who both nodded, she didn't like being in control all that much, and she knew she'd feel better if someone else took over, but she needed to do what she came to do and make sure her team was safe.

"We should have brought more men," Wolf commented as the three of them began to walk.

"I don't see any danger, Taylor." Andrea shot back, stopping a moment to look around before she found what she was looking for. She didn't need to be reminded of the dangers, the last time she was surrounded by trees and nature she had litres of blood removed from her body.

"Patterson, see if we can get this open, even if it's just fuel, we can use it." Andrea looked at the member of her crew, watching him nod before she took a step back, again looking around, her eyes darting from the pipeline on the ground, her engineer, Wolf and the overgrown dock. Maybe Wolf was right, maybe they needed more men.

"I thought we had enough on the ship, ma'am?" Patterson asked.

"Fuel and water, yes, but oil was pretty hard to come by, and with how much was stolen and used in the Pandemic we have no overflow supply if we need it, It could be useful for the circuit breakers, and for powering our electrical systems, before when we were at sea CIC lost power, it meant no sonar which meant we were a target," Andrea explained quickly before looking over at Wolf.

"Radio Green, see if they've found that rig, it can't have been too far off the coastline. If the rig has a platform we can see if this place has a water tower and a control tower." Andrea looked at Wolf, who had her back to them, watching the deserted place, she knew that he too had an uneasy feeling about the land they were on.

Pushing the uneasy feeling down, she listened to Wolf talk to Green, before turning back around to Patterson, helping he feed smaller pipes into the main line in the ground, hoping to fill the containers they had with them.

* * *

"Green is heading back, they found the tower, took what was left," Wolf told her, although he didn't get much closer, he was trying to keep a look out, and Andrea was too, but she was worried her mind would start playing tricks on her, which was never a good sign when she needed to focus.

"Good, could they see a water tower or a control tower?"

"Green said the water tower was empty when they checked, but no control tower that they could see." Wolf took a step back, as Andrea carried on talking.

"Probably been destr…." Andrea's sentence was cut short by the sound of three consecutive gun shots.

Within seconds, Patterson had hit the floor, instinctively covering his head with one hand, reaching over to push Andrea down with the other.

"GET DOWN!" Wolf shouted as all three of them ducked for cover, but he was seconds later, they were already on the floor, both engineers looking in the direction of the water, before looking back further inland, hoping to see something.

"Where did that come from?" Andrea asked, adrenaline running through her and she reached for her bag, opening it to grab he weapon, hoping she wouldn't have to use it. She tried to make her voice heard, but another gunshot caused them to once again hit the ground, she caught Wolf's eye only for a second, before giving him a short nod, they both knew they needed to move, they couldn't stay still, they needed a plan.

"Ma'am…" More shots, but this time, instead of ducking, Andrea pushed Patterson hoping he would get the hint and begin to craw at least, but if that didn't do the trick, she was sure Wolf's firm words would.

"WE'VE GOT TO MOVE, NOW!"

Andrea didn't know if the crew could hear them or not, but it didn't matter, the ship, the chopper, the crew were miles out, they were practically on their own.

Shit.

* * *

On the ship, everyone on the bridge froze when they heard the shot over comms.

Their frozen states only lasted seconds before everyone was looking over at Mike and Tom awaiting instructions.

" _Sir, I've got Andrews, Collins and Davidson with me, Commander Garnett and Patterson are still with Wolf."_ Danny's voice could be heard.

" _We're taking cover, but I think I can take them down…"_ Wolf sounded calm under pressure.

" _We still need the oil for the engines."_ Andrea turned to look at Wolf who was looking between her and Patterson, they'd moved further away from the shots, but still, couldn't see the water's edge. A part of her, the maternal side wanted to tell Patterson to run, but him running and them not knowing where the shooter was could also make him a target.

" _It's too dangerous, we need to get back to the ship."_ Another round of gunfire cut any reply short. At the back of her mind, she knew she couldn't blame him for wanting to get the hell out, what 19-year-old wanted to be surrounded by those with the intention to kill.

Wolf was ushering them to move, hoping to find a place to take cover, but Andrea was still, she needed to think, they needed a plan and right now, running and hoping for the best was not good enough.

" _We need to finish what we came here to do…"_

Mike, Tom, and everyone else on the bridge of the Nathan James could hear the exchange.

"We need to pull them out," Mike said, and Andrea heard him.

" _Captain, we're all armed, we can take them…" Andrea replied, looking at Wolf who had his weapon raised, aiming it straight ahead, but even if the shooter came from a completely different direction, Andrea knew Wolf was a good shot._

"Get that bird in the air, pull them out, right now!" Mike's words were final as he heard people around him shouting orders and shuffling papers. A part of him was annoyed at himself, but hell, that was his team, and right now all he cared about was their safety.

" _Sir, we need to finish…"_ Andrea's sentence was cut short, on the bridge all that could be heard was static. Everyone froze for a second time but this time the silence lasted longer.

"CIC, I want full power everything, we need to make sure we're not a target in the water," Tom ordered, knowing that within seconds Alisha would relay it down to those in CIC.

"Get a medic on standby and get that bird in the air right now!" Mike ordered only seconds later, looking over at Tom who seemed to have the slight hint of fear in his eyes.

" _Heading back now, Sir. I've got no visual on Wolf's team, awaiting further instructions."_

"Head back to the ship team two, we'll send a chopper…" Tom said into his headset, closing his eyes momentarily, before sighing, hoping he'd just said the right thing.

Mike, on the other hand, was holding his breath, he told himself he could stay professional, that his and Andrea's relationship wouldn't affect his work.

Shit.

She was going to hate him for this. If she was still alive.

* * *

Andrea had a ringing in her ears that made her head hurt, but at least she couldn't feel any pain. She saw Patterson running in front of her and by the sounds she could hear Wolf was behind her, all three of them trying to reach some form of safety, the gun shots had seized, but they didn't know for how long.

"Comms went down…" Andrea said moments after they reached the water. Wolf seemed to ignore her, and Patterson was moving them as fast as he could back towards the Nathan James.

"Are you both alright?" Wolf asked, his gun still raised and aimed at the dock where'd they'd just been, in the back of her mind, and probably everyone else they hoped it was someone trying to protect themselves, the other alternative just seemed too hard to think about after nearly getting shot. Andrea could still hear the sound of the gun going off, the bullets hitting the floor and her heart hammering in her chest.

Both Andrea and Patterson nodded.

"I guess you were right, we should have brought more men." Wolf only chuckled at what Andrea said, a rare light moment in the middle of the chaos.

"Well, now we know for next time," Wolf said with a long breath, lowering his weapon as the dock got further and further away and the Nathan James came into view.

A moment passed before the chopper from the 'James' could be heard.

"Better late than never, I suppose," Andrea said, looking up as the chopper passed overhead. She was sure once the adrenaline wore off she would be shaking like a leaf, but right now, she was content with making jokes, it would help her through the next few hours, when it finally sunk in that she could have died, and that she and her team were in danger, and that is was potentially her fault.

* * *

The first time Mike saw her was when she walked onto the bridge nearly two hours later. He had wanted to go and see her when they got back to the ship but went against it, not being able to trust himself, which were feelings that were very new to him.

"XO, good work out there," Tom said with a short nod, Andrea didn't really expect much from him, but at least he saw it as good work, despite them nearly getting shot.

"Thank you, Sir. I believe we have what we need, from an engineer's standpoint it should be smooth sailing from here to our destination." Andrea said, her voice was tight, it wasn't a lie as such, but it just wasn't the whole truth. As she stood she still noticed that Mike had yet to look at her, and she didn't know if that was good or bad.

"If that's all, I would really like to make a start on the paperwork," Andrea said, her role as XO meant more paperwork, but right now it was a welcome distraction, despite her anger towards Mike, being shot at would always be something that made her feel uneasy, scared, even.

"Of course." Tom dismissed her.

She gave him a tight smile, much to match her voice before she turned on her heels and began to walk down the passageway, avoiding other soldiers as she kept her head down, avoiding all conversations.

"XO…" She rolled her eyes upwards when she heard Mike call her. Coming to a stop taking a few deep breaths before turning around to face him.

Right now, he was the last person she wanted to deal with. Maybe she shouldn't be taking it personally, but knowing him as well as she did professionally, she knew that had anyone else said that he would have pushed them, sent back up and finished what they had started, but because it was her, he felt the need to send a Navy Helicopter and have medics on standby.

Andrea hoped once she'd calmed down she would be able to rationalise it all, and she was hoping that until then she would be left alone to deal with what she'd just been through, but Mike seemed to have other ideas.

"We need to talk…" Mike said when he got close enough, but Andrea shook her head, giving him the same tight smile she had given the CNO, knowing that other sailors were watching them.

"I need to go and fill in paperwork before my watch starts," Andrea told him, stepping backwards to move away from him, but Mike didn't seem to care.

"We are going to talk, that's an order, XO." Mike's voice was firm, but Andrea knew him well enough to know that it was just a front, behind the firm voice and the anger, Andrea knew he was worried about her, but she didn't know if she was pleased about it or not.

Either way she followed him down the passageway into his cabin, preparing for whatever he said next.

* * *

They made it to his cabin within seconds and as soon as the door closed Andrea felt her anger boil over.

"What the hell was that all about?" She asked, her voice low but harsh, knowing that Mike would know exactly what she meant.

"I did what I thought was right." Mike shot back, his voice equally harsh.

"Personally, or professionally!?" Andrea asked, waiting for her question to be answered, wondering if she could take the answer he was going to give.

* * *

And, I felt like I should leave it there! Are you still enjoying this, would you like to see more? Reviews are always loved and appreciated, I love to know what you thought! Bethany.


	20. Chapter 20

**Time to Heal – Part 20.**

Well, this really didn't turn out to be a five-part story, did it? Are you guys still enjoying this? Does it still seem realistic to you guys? Again, I enjoyed writing this chapter, but it does have a panic attack, so I will add a trigger warning. Also, I will say sorry now for any mistakes.

 **Trigger Warning – Panic Attack.**

Reviews are loved and appreciated, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

" _I did what I thought was right." Mike shot back, his voice equally harsh._

" _Personally, or professionally!?" Andrea asked, waiting for her question to be answered, wondering if she could take the answer he was going to give._

Mike took a step back, moving around his desk. Andrea watched him, wondering if she would get an answer because she really needed to know. She knew they couldn't put feelings aside completely and she didn't mind that but this was where it crossed the line, he had pulled her out when he knew they could take on whatever was thrown at them. Survival instincts kicked in, and Andrea knew, or at least told herself, that she knew if it was another team out there, Mike would have kept them in.

"Mike…" Andrea sighed when he didn't speak.

"You scared the hell out of me today!" Mike shot back before Andrea could finish her sentence. Andrea was slightly shocked at his statement, but let him carry on.

"You want me to tell Tom, fine, you want me to stay away from you, fine, but today you could have been shot. You could have died, and that scares the hell out of me, Andrea! You wanna be angry with me, go ahead, but I'm not going to stand here and say I was wrong. Personally, or professionally, it doesn't matter. You were being shot at, I pulled you out, end of story." Andrea shook her head, looking at him like he had gone mad, but still, there was anger in her system and she wasn't about to let it go that easily.

"It's not end of story! We have got six months left on this mission, we are all on edge, and this ship is still a target, you need to be professional, we all do. Maybe I made a mistake, maybe saying all of those things to you before was a mistake, hell, maybe redeploying was the wrong call, but…" Mike cut her off.

"Now you're the one making it personal." Mike leant forward, flattening his palms out on his desk before he slammed his hands down on it to make a point.

"You just said it was!" Andrea could feel this getting out of hand, but still, she wasn't about to back down, her emotions were running too high and she was too angry to see the bigger picture.

"For god sakes, Andrea, of course, it's personal!" Mike raised his voice, contradicting himself and sure other sailors could hear him, but he'd passed the point of caring. He watched Andrea for a moment, and saw the slightest change in her facial feature, he could have gone on, but he didn't, the memories of her recent panic attack flooding back, wondering if he would be the next cause of a nervous breakdown.

"Andrea." She didn't answer him.

Andrea turned around, not being able to look at him, she felt so lost, she felt like once again she couldn't get her head straight, she didn't know if the headache coming on was from the noise or because she felt as though she was in the early stages of another panic attack, or nervous breakdown, it made no odds what it was, her head was pounding, and her skin was beginning to feel sore.

She needed to calm down, she needed to lie down, she needed to do anything but be here, she tried to think of a way out, something to say to him to reassure him that she was fine, but he could see that she wasn't. Right now, she didn't have the strength to put on a front, the adrenaline had worn off, leaving her tired and slightly lethargic, and that was without knowing that Mike knew _her,_ he would see through whatever lie she came up with in the moment.

"Andrea…" Andrea heard Mike say her name the first time, he sounded worried, scared, possibly, but she didn't hear him cross the room or feel him standing so close to her.

"I, I need to go, and get some fresh air." She still couldn't look up at him. She just wanted to leave, she wanted to be on her own, hell, she needed it, she needed a few moments in an open space to fight whatever was happening to her, to fight all the unwelcome feelings she had running through her right now.

"Let me call the Doc, let him take a look at you…" Mike told her, giving her some space, reaching for the phone on his desk. Mike tapped in the number, his eyes not leaving her, his mind kept telling him to do something, get her to lie down, get her some water, but he knew that she needed space, she needed a moment to try to pull herself together. Mike knew it wouldn't happen, her eyes had glazed over her hands were shaking, it wouldn't matter if she denied it a thousand times, or even told him he was forgiven, Mike knew he brought this on, he was to blame, now all he could do was try to help her.

"I'm fine, Sir. I just need some fresh air and I'll be okay." Andrea took another deep breath, even she didn't believe her own words. She felt sick, she didn't know if she should sit down, or just walk away. Her mind was in a spin, she just needed to think straight, she needed to get her focus back, that's all she needed, some focus. Maybe something to do, something to take up her time, she was sure she could go to the engine room, they would give her something to do, she could give one of the lads a break, reading a report, helping with repairs it would help her gain her focus, it would help clear her head a little bit. She kept telling herself she would be fine if she could just focus on something. Her eyes began to look over the wall in front of her, hoping something would catch her eye, anything that she could look at so her mind would slow down. Her chest felt tight and her palms began to feel sweaty, that was without the pain of her fingernails digging into her skin.

Breathe. Just keep breathing. Deep breaths.

She kept telling herself to breathe, that she was okay, and that it was all okay, but a part of her brain was triggering the memories, memories of today, the past, all the times she was stood in this cabin, the argument she and Mike had just had, the sound of gunshots, the time she broke down over Lily's death, the time she promised Mike she would help him find his family, the pain still felt so real, the pain in her chest knowing that Lily wouldn't be celebrating her birthday, the heartache she felt when Mike told her his family had been found, that they were alive and safe. It was all coming back. The emotions, the physical pain, the tears, the sounds, she felt like she could taste the sick in her mouth, the blood from biting her lip so hard when she was trying not to cry.

She couldn't move. She was frozen, it wasn't that she couldn't move, more so she couldn't feel her legs, or her arms, or anything, her head was pounding still, and she felt tears rolling down her cheeks, but she couldn't move, she couldn't walk away.

Shit.

She really couldn't move, she just kept hearing herself talk, hearing herself cry over Lily, hearing Mike tell her that his family were safe, kissing him, everything, it all seemed to play at the same time, like her mind had been kicked into overdrive, like she was having the words worst migraine. Andrea squeezed her eyes shut, lifting her limp feeling hands to the side of her head, pressing them to her eyes, hoping she could calm herself down, hoping to gain some focus, hoping the throbbing in her head would subside, hoping she would wake up. She just wanted to wake up.

She couldn't breathe. She really couldn't breathe, and everything around her was beginning to go blurry, she was still desperately trying to focus, willing herself to focus, but she couldn't, she tried and tried until it all became too much.

* * *

"Andrea. Andrea, talk to me." She could hear his voice, but it sounded so quiet and faint, her hand instinctively moved to her head, which was still throbbing. She felt somewhat comfortable and realised quickly that she was no longer standing, but her eyes weren't fully open and she was still having trouble hearing what was being said.

"Hey, XO, can you hear me." She heard another voice, but it took her a moment before she could move her head. She looked to her left to see Mike holding her arm, and Doc Rios kneeling next to Mike, his eyes switching between her and his watch, once Andrea put her hands down, the Doc reached for his wrist checking her pulse.

Andrea was laid on the couch in Mike's cabin, confused and still partly breathless.

"How long has she been like this?" Rios asked Mike. She wanted to answer for herself, but she was still wondering just how long she'd been out of focus, how long she'd been laying down for and when Rios turned up. That was before her mind began to replay what had happened, what had triggered what Andrea assumed to be a serious panic attack.

"10 minutes or so," Mike answered looking between Andrea and Rios.

Moments passed while Rios began checking her out. Her pulse, her head, the feeling in her legs and arms, before shining a brought light in her eyes, which made the throbbing worse. While getting checked out and still trying to piece together the event of the day she was sure the door opened, and when she heard Tom's voice it only confirmed that now she had an audience and she was sure the whole ship would know within minutes.

"What happened?" Tom asked. Andrea felt Mike move away from her, assuming he'd taken the few steps to the door to talk to Tom, she tried to listen closely, wondering if it would help or just make her feel worse.

"Panic attack, I think. We had words, I didn't think anything of it, she said she wanted to leave, that she needed some time and some space but then she began hyperventilating, muttering to herself how she needed to breathe and focus, I called the Doc to come check her out, before I could get off the phone she'd collapsed." Andrea could hear all Mike was saying and suddenly she felt so weak and embarrassed, wanting to sit up and try to explain herself.

Had it really been that bad? Had she really collapsed? Would Tom trust her enough to let her carry-on working, or would she get transferred off the ship? The thoughts made her head spin again, and her chest felt tight, she shut her eyes, lifting her free hand to cover her face, she could feel Rios checking her pulse, and within minutes he was gently stroking her hand, telling her to breathe.

"Andrea, I need you to take nice deep breaths for me," Rios said gaining the attention of both Tom and Mike, who moved closer to see what the Doc was doing. Despite his words, her heart rate only quickened as she felt tears building.

Andrea moved her hand just enough to see that out of the corner of her eye Rios pulled an oxygen mask out his kit, moving his position so he could put the mask over Andrea's face.

"You're okay, but I need you to calm down, this will help your breathing. You need to try and take some nice deep breaths, you're okay and you're safe." Andrea squeezed her eyes shut again, trying hard to calm down, and to take deep breaths, thankful she had the oxygen mask to help her. Thankful for the kind words, she knew she was safe, she knew she would be okay, but there was something about hearing it from others that seemed to reinforce it.

"I'm going to take her to sickbay, she can lay down, get some fluids and try to sleep," Rios told Tom and Mike, who were both watching her closely, Mike more so, still feeling guilty knowing that he could have prevented it, or at least not added the stress.

"How long will she be out?" Tom asked, taking a few steps forward, crouching down at the side of Andrea, touching her arm gently, seemingly trying to help despite protocol.

"Hard to tell, she should be okay. Once she's calmed down and gotten some sleep I will talk to her." Tom nodded at what Rios was saying, agreeing with his plan of action.

"I want regular updates and to know when she is ready to talk again," Mike said, looking over at Andrea who seemed to out of it to talk, but was trying to take the oxygen mask off her face anyway.

"You need to keep that on, Andrea," Tom said leaning forward to put it back on her face.

"We'll talk when you're feeling better. Try not to worry about it, I am sure the engine room can cope for a week or two without you." Andrea nodded a little, her main fear being reassigned, getting flown back to the base, she needed to be here.

But they were all right, she needed to calm down first.

* * *

"You and the XO seem to be very close," Tom commented on the bridge later that evening.

"We support each other, we've both suffered the same loss," Mike said quietly, wondering how much he should say.

He wanted to tell Tom, professionally it was the right thing to do, but personally, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not right now, not whilst he and Andrea were still working things out. He wanted to give her some space, her panic attacks had been a common occurrence since they'd returned home and it had worried Mike.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" Tom asked.

"I think so. I think today got the better of most of us, and we all have our ways of coping." Mike shrugged a little.

"Do you think you'll be okay? You pulled them out pretty quick today." Mike held back a laugh.

"I'm fine, Sir. I did what I thought was right for the safety of my crew."

"Okay…" Mike knew Tom didn't believe what he'd just said, but he didn't care, now was not the time or the place to be admitting feelings.

Right now, he needed to stay focused, no matter how hard it was going to be.

* * *

Andrea woke up, a little unsure of where she was. She felt hung over, almost, as her brain suddenly started reminding her of what happened. The mission, the gun shots, Mike, the memories, and the pain.

"XO, you're awake." Doc Rios was standing next to the bed, medical chart in one hand, using the other to reach out for her wrist, checking her pulse.

"When can I get back to the engine room?" She asked, quickly.

"A few days. Both the Captain and CNO think it's best you rest for a while and I must agree. You're not drinking, eating, or sleeping as much as you should be, and with the frequent panic attacks…"

"They're not frequent." Andrea interrupted him, trying to sit up, but Rios gently pushed her back down.

"It's okay to admit that you're struggling, Andrea. You began hyperventilating today before you collapsed, you had us all worried for a minute." Andrea shook her head. Although she was thankful for Rios' calm tone.

Really wanting to just leave the bay and get on with her work. Anyone on this ship should have known by now that this was how she coped, this was how she got on with things, she pushed through and she fixed things. Well, she fixed everything but herself.

"I'm okay. It was one panic attack, I was upset and still in shock from what happened at the docks."

"Upset about what? Your fight with the Captain?"

"We didn't fight, we had a disagreement." Andrea glared at him slightly, before her gaze softened, reminding herself that it wasn't his fault.

"Crew overheard the both of you shouting, something about this being personal?" Doc Rios pushed her.

Andrea closed her eyes momentarily. Wondering if or not to confide in the doctor, knowing he would have to tell someone, more than likely the CNO. Instead, she shook her head choosing not to say anything.

"Everyone has lost so much, the world fell apart, I think this mission is personal for everyone. I and the Captain had a disagreement, lack of sleep, food, and drink along with the what happened on the docks, it all became too much, it won't happen again." Andrea told him, forcing a smile.

"You can't know that. Did you speak to anyone on base before redeploying?" Andrea again shook her head.

"I didn't need to, I am more than capable of doing my job. Doc, honestly, I am okay, it happened once and it won't happen again."

"Andrea, you should really talk to someone." Andrea sighed.

"I talk to the Captain. I speak to him about my loss and about how I feel. He is aware of the panic attacks, and he is also aware that I am capable of doing my job." Doc Rios nodded but didn't seem convinced.

"I think once you go back to work we should have weekly check-ups to make sure you are eating enough, drinking enough, sleeping enough, and of course, to check that you're coping, still." Andrea wanted to argue, but she knew Rios was just doing his job.

Once the Doc left Andrea stared up at the ceiling. She was fine, she knew she was fine. If anything, being there was making her feel worse, it gave her time to think and make her feel useless. Once she could go back to fixing and maintaining the ship she would be okay. She didn't lie to Rios, she did speak to Mike, a lot. They looked out for each other, hell, they loved each other, she was going to be okay. She would apologise to Mike for scaring him, she would thank Wolf for saving her life and she would see how Patterson was holding up, and once she could put that mission to rest, she could get on with the task at hand, working on the ship, and, of course, pushing all her personal feelings aside until they got home.

"Doc…" She turned to the side, seeing Rios sitting at his makeshift desk.

"XO."

"Can you get Patterson down here, get him to being the latest status reports from the engine room, and also see if Wolf can get down here."

"Yes, Ma'am." If she was going to be on bed rest for the next few days she may as well do something useful.

* * *

"Captains on the bridge." Mike was called to the bridge just a week after Andrea had collapsed in his cabin. Instantly he was worried about her, it had been her first watch back since her panic attack and he was worried about how well she would cope.

"What's going on?" Mike looked between Tom and Andrea.

At first, once he saw Andrea was okay, he assumed they were taking on enemy fire, or a ship was getting too close, but the longer he was on the bridge, the more he got the impression it was a lot more serious. No one seemed to be working, or even moving at that point. They were all looking between the three commanding officers.

"We just got word from the mainland. The President has been assassinated, he was pronounced dead a little over an hour ago." Andrea told him.

* * *

This turned out to be a little bit longer than I thought, and it went in all kinds of directions! Did you enjoy it? Please let me know what you thought, reviews are loved and appreciated! Bethany.


	21. Chapter 21

**Time to Heal – Part 21.**

Part 21 is done! While this chapter is pretty all over the place it does have some 'good' moments in it!

Reviews are loved and appreciated, thank you so much for all the other reviews! Enjoy!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

Mike paced his cabin, a constant mantra of 'the girls are fine' running through his head as he tried to comprehend the news that the President had been assassinated. It had been a possibility from the start, everyone had mixed opinions, the White House was still a few members of staff from across the country, trying to make the government work somehow, many people didn't think a government was needed, while other thought the current President just wasn't strong enough. Even though it had always been a possibility, Mike didn't think anyone would actually take the shot. The crew were trying to get as much information as they could before they made any decisions, but with people scared, and their families on route to safe houses, and still the unknown fate of the person responsible, everyone felt as though they'd hit a brick wall.

His first thought was to go home and he was sure it was Tom's first thought too. For now, he was just running on what Kara had told him and that was, that his girls were safe and hadn't been affected by what had happened. He assumed they had, the shooting of the President was going to affect the country and possibly other countries too. Right now, they just needed to figure out who was behind it and if anyone else was in danger, knowing that there could be more attacks. It wasn't the best thing to be thinking about, the thought of more people getting hurt, along with the effect it would have on Amy and Katie, but he knew they were okay, they were physically safe, and that's what he needed to keep telling himself.

The knock at his door stopped his pacing momentarily for him to shout 'Enter' but he carried on walking when Andrea stepped into the room, closing the door behind her.

"Any other news?" He asked without making eye contact, he didn't even stop to address her.

"No, sir. Kara and the rest of the team in the White House believe it was the act of someone who was mentally ill, seemingly suffering from PTSD. They'd don't believe any other public figures are at risk. As of an hour ago, Vice President Katherine Williamson became acting President unit she is sworn in when all threats are cleared." Mike nodded along not interested in anything other than his girls and the ship being safe.

"Are you and Tom leaving?" Andrea asked after a moment of silence. She could see how stressed Mike was, the fact he didn't address her or even look at her when she walked in told her that he wasn't coping as well as he would want to admit, but she understood, for the most part, an assassination not far from the Naval Base, would put fear in anyone, more so those who'd just had to survive a world with no laws. Although Mike knew about the safe houses, Andrea was sure that until he heard from Christine, Amy, and Katie that they were okay he would keep pacing.

Mike stopped and turned to look at her for the first time since she entered the room. He wanted to say yes, he wanted to say he was going home, but a part of him couldn't. He felt so bad because she was the main reason, he didn't want to leave her, he didn't want to leave the crew either, or leave in the middle of the mission, this was personal, the virus took his son, he wasn't about to let World War Three potentially take his girls. So, now, along with the feeling of dread for what Katie and Amy were going through, the thought of them being scared, the thought of Christine trying to calm them, but having no luck, he also felt like the world's worst father because he was choosing Andrea over them in a way.

"You don't have to answer that, I know how much you want to be with the girls right now," Andrea said with a small smile, taking a step closer to him. Andrea knew what she was going to do next, she also knew it was the wrong time and place, but it wasn't going to stop her. She too was still worried about what was happening at home, as well as saddened by the loss of the President, everyone on the ship was shocked and fearful.

"I love you." Andrea came out with it, giving Mike no time to say anything before she did. If he started talking, about the ship, his girls or the assassination she knew she'd internally talk herself out of it, and with the thought of him leaving the ship, she knew it was no or never, or at least that's what it felt like.

"Andrea,"

"No, let me say it. I love you, despite whatever else is going on, whether it be on the ship or at home, I want you to know that I have fallen head over heels in love with you, and it's probably the worst time to tell you, and it goes against what I said about putting feelings on hold, and it's breaking every rule we have aboard this ship, but I don't care, right now." Andrea took a deep breath when she'd finished, putting a hand up to her mouth for a moment.

"I don't know if you're leaving and I don't know what will happen in the next few months, or what we'll encounter. We've lost so many people on land and at sea and I didn't want you to go before I told you, because, I guess, you never know what's going to happen tomorrow." She put her hands down by her side, before crossing them over her chest as if to hug herself, providing herself with some comfort, not knowing what Mike would say next.

Mike stood for a moment before reaching out to take Andrea's hand, waiting for her to unfold her arms so he could hold them properly,

"Nothing is going to happen to you, Andrea. I won't let it." Andrea shook her head a little, smiling, but still a little annoyed that he seemed to be avoiding the subject altogether. She had just told him she was in love with him, she wanted a little more back than reassurance she would be okay, she could figure that one out on her own, she was sure she'd proven many times that she was a fighter.

When it was clear he had nothing else to say on the matter, Andrea pulled her hands back, before taking a step back, creating some distance between the two of them.

"No matter what happens, you need to do what is best for you and your family. No one on this ship will blame you or Tom if you decide to go home." Mike nodded in understanding, but he knew he needed to speak to Kara and Christine first. Which made him, again, feel like an awful father.

"I'll come and find you later," Mike said, ending the conversation, and any hope Andrea had about him tell her that he loved her too when there was a knock at the door.

Andrea only nodded, because the door had opened. She turned to see Tom looking between the two of them, but no one spoke, she was sure Tom was there to speak about next steps, where he and Mike when from here in regards to their families and the mission. Andrea had a feeling that had this have been any other mission, when the world hadn't fallen apart and people hadn't of died from a deadly virus, that both men would stay, but this was different, the world was different, everyone and everything was so different from how it was before.

She thought she knew the both of them, but maybe she was wrong, maybe tomorrow morning she could be seeing them off the flight deck, knowing they were going home to be with their families, but right now, she needed to leave, it wasn't her place to stay, and with everything she'd just admitted, and everything Mike didn't, she wasn't sure she felt like staying in the room either.

"Sir." Tom gave her a short nod as she addressed him, stopping just before the door.

"XO."

Pulling the door closed behind her, she walked up the passageway, only for a few steps before stopped, leaning against the wall. Her mind was working overtimes, thoughts flying around her mind so much so that she felt a headache coming on. She had just told her Captain she loved him, on the ship, in the middle of a mission, she had gone against everything she believed and she'd done the one things she had asked Mike to do. Put all personal feelings on hold.

"Well done, Andrea. Well done."

* * *

A few hours later Mike walked down to the engine room, hoping Andrea would still be there. He still hadn't been able to reach home, but Kara had told them all families had been moved to safe houses, and that she would contact the ship the moment they could talk, although he was calmer after talking to Kara and also to Tom he knew he wouldn't be able to fully focus until he heard his girls speak, until they reassured him that they were okay and safe.

The investigation was still ongoing, but after being reassured their families were okay, Mike and Tom had spent some time speaking to Kara and other officials back home including the Acting President, who promised them that their families would have constant protection just like Tom had ordered and organised before shipping out. They'd covered many topics, the biggest one being that the ship was in no immediate danger, or certainly not from anyone in the US, which put both men at ease, as well as knowing that the more they learnt about the assassination they more it became clear that it was not an act of domestic terrorism or a planned act by a group, more an attack done by someone who seemed to be coping poorly with the events of the last year, or at least that's how Katherine Williamson put it.

Mike was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard voices engaged in a conversation in the passageway, looking up he saw Andrea talking to another engineer, both of them looking over a clipboard, Andrea giving various instructions, oblivious to the fact he was there.

"XO, can I have a word?" Andrea looked up when he spoke, giving him a small smile before turning back to one of the engineers.

"Make sure you have an up to date report for the CNO in an hour." He nodded flipping back the papers on the clipboard, nodding to the Captain before moving back into the engine room.

Mike waited a minute, checking the hall was clear before he crossed his arms and sighed, preparing to fill her in on what had happened over the last few hours, where the assassination was concerned.

"Still no word from home, all families were moved to safe houses, Kara says their safe and I believe her, but I'm still waiting to speak to them. Katherine Williamson gives us her full support if myself and Tom want to leave, and the more they find out the more certain they are that the gunman was simply someone who was not coping well, and with no formal Police Force or Health Services as of yet, some officials said they expected something like this to happen. Either way, the ship is in no immediate danger from home and once all threats have been cleared the new President will be sworn in and we carry on as normal." Andrea nodded in understanding, but still had nothing much to say, she had expected as much with regards to the President, she really had no choice but to support what the 'Nathan James' was doing, and she couldn't say much about the gunman, it was a shame that still no help or health services had been set up, even temporarily to help those who suffered in the pandemic and those who are still suffering now.

"What would you do?" Mike asked when Andrea didn't say another, he still hadn't made a decision as to what to do, he was so torn and Tom was too, so he felt it was only right to ask someone else's opinion, wondering what they would do in his position.

Andrea shrugged before shaking her head.

"I don't know. I don't even know if I would have redeployed had Lily of survived. All I can say is that you need to do what you think is right. You know your kids will be okay if you stay, but you also know the ship and the crew will be okay if you leave." Mike laughed, it wasn't very helpful, and nor did it give him an answer, but he was grateful that she was trying to help him.

"Thanks…"

"I know it's not helpful, but that's all I can say. Personally, I don't want you to go, but, that's just me. I also know that you have two girls at home that need you, it's up to you, which again, isn't helpful. I guess it's easier to act on orders than it is on impulse." Andrea told him, she knew whatever she said wouldn't be helpful, Mike needed someone to tell him what to do and Andrea couldn't do that. Well, she could, but she wasn't going to, she wasn't about to make the choice for him, but she had a point, the ship would be fine if he left, and she knew that with around the clock protection, both his daughter would be okay if he stayed.

Standing in the passageway, she wondered if someone would walk down, start a conversation, maybe the CNO would appear and they could talk? Possibly on a more personal level, both Mike and Tom were in the same situation, she only hoped they could help each other. Much like she and Mike spoke about losing a child and grieving, Mike and Tom could talk about where to go from here. Looking at it from the outside it was family or the mission, and for some that would have been easy, but after all they had been through, Andrea knew that wasn't the case.

"I'll let you get on," Mike said after a moment of thinking. Andrea nodded with a smile, she felt bad because she couldn't give him answer, but she knew that he would feel a little better after he heard from the girls, once he heard it from them that they were okay, or safe at least. Andrea hoped that once they had spoken, that Mike would have a clear head and could decide what to do.

Just before Andrea could walk off, Mike reached out to grab her arm, pulling her back towards him. Andrea felt herself nearly trip but was able to gain her balance, looking up at Mike with confusion written over her face.

"I forgot to say it earlier…" Mike said, when he pulled Andrea close to his body, leaning down to whisper in her ear.

"I love you too…"

* * *

Reviews are loved and appreciated like always! Thank you for reading. Bethany.


	22. Chapter 22

**Time to Heal – Part 22.**

Part 22, again, I don't know what to say! I'm sorry for any mistakes, I promise I did proof read.

Reviews are very loved and appreciated! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you for all your other reviews!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.  
**

* * *

Andrea paced back and forth still waiting to hear if Mike would be leaving the ship. She knew she shouldn't be getting so upset and worried by it, but the thought of losing the only person who seemed to understand her made her feel sick.

"XO." Someone said behind her. Turning around she saw Doc Rios stood only a few steps away.

"Doc." She smiled back.

"I heard about the possibility of the Captain and CNO transferring back to base. I wanted to see how you were holding up. Being next in line must be a worrying thought." Andrea froze, she hadn't actually thought about it, well she had, but not long enough for it to cause her any panic or alarm, but now that was another thing she could add to the ever-growing list of 'why I am pacing up and down'.

After a moment, she knew Rios was right, she would have to step up, she'd have to lead the ship, and she wasn't sure she could. Shit. Not only could she be losing the man she loved, the person who understood her better than anyone else, she was facing the fact that she may have to lead this mission.

"I think it's best to wait and see what the Captain and CNO decide to do," Andrea said with a smile, albeit a forced smile.

"If you need to talk then we can. I understand you and Captain are very close." Andrea wanted to laugh. She knew Rios would keep pushing until he got to the truth, still he asked her all about her and Mike's disagreement. She and Mike were closer than they should be giving the rules and the fact that Mike was still legally married. Before shipping out they'd shared the same bed, and Andrea wondered if she would end up sleeping in his cabin over the six months they were at sea, she wanted to believe she wouldn't cross that line, but she always believed she could keep her emotions under control and that only put her in sick bay for a week.

"I'm okay, Doc. Like I say, just waiting to see what the Captain and CNO decided to do."

* * *

"I told the girls I wanted to finish what I started, they're scared and upset, but I think they understand how important this mission is," Mike said with a sigh as he sat down in Tom's cabin.

Tom nodded, he too was staying on the ship, the kids had his father and Kara who they knew well enough by now, but still that didn't help the guilt and sadness both men were feeling over not going home and having to listen to their kid's voices break when they told them. Before it would have been life in the Navy, but things were so different now, even though that was proving to be more of a curse than a blessing. Both men had nearly lost their families once, and now, after the thought of a mass shooting spree, they could have lost them again, and still they were choosing duty over family, but their reasoning stayed the same, they wanted a safer world for their kids to grown up in.

"I'm just glad they're safe, once the new President is sworn in hopefully, some order will be restored." Tom agreed, he looked tired, but then both men were, it had been a long day trying to get hold of their families, before trying to comfort their children over a static filled line.

"We should inform the XO, before informing the crew." Tom said, knowing the crew well enough to know that secrets could not be kept long enough on the 'James' for them to even be considered secrets.

"I'll go and tell Andrea. She's on watch." Mike said standing up. He waited a moment before moving, first of all wondering what to say to the crew, and secondly, wondering if now would be the right time to tell Tom about him and Andrea. Mentally deciding it would never be the right time he began to walk out of the room, but stopped, turning back around to look at Tom, not being able to bring himself to leave without staying something.

"Something else?" Tom asked, watching his friend's actions.

"I told you before that Andrea and I were close, and we are, but…" Mike shrugged, he didn't know how to word it, or if he should be wording it at all. He'd just decided, he was staying on the ship, but this could get him transferred out regardless.

"But it goes past that?" Tom suggested the end of his sentence, putting down the pen he'd picked up, realising that this could be a lengthy conversation.

"Yeah. We got close, after Asia and not knowing about Christine and the girls. We understood each other, she came to me after getting back on the ship, and she looked so broken, I didn't think much of it, I would have supported any of them, but she kept coming back, and I guess without really thinking we got closer. I didn't know if I would have a family when I got home, and she already knew the fate of hers, we said we'd be there for each other." Tom nodded, but Mike knew his silence was a bad sign, normally he had something to say, a rule he would bring up, a part of the handbook, but he just sat watching him, waiting for him to say more.

"We both want to finish this mission, Tom. We both can, and we can do it professionally, but forgetting the ranks, you are my closest friend and you needed to know, both personally and professionally."

"How serious is this?" Mike chuckled slightly, moving back into the cabin, taking a seat in the chair in front of Tom's desk, smiling a little.

"I love her…" Mike admitted, much like he told Andrea. Again, Tom only nodded, and Mike was hoping that he would say something, either personal or professional, he didn't care, he just didn't enjoy the silence.

There was a long pause, and Mike was worried about the outcome, maybe he would be going home after all? He wanted Andrea to be next to him, but he knew that would only make it worse, but still she didn't know he was telling Tom. Admittedly, Mike just wanted to tell someone, although it was Andrea's decision to start with, he never considered telling Tom until Andrea told him that she loved him. He froze in the moment, his mind was too busy thinking about his daughters, but maybe that was a good thing, it gave him time to be sure, it played on his mind, the way she said it, and just what she said. Andrea had fallen head over heels in love with him, and he knew that he was falling for her too.

Well, he wasn't falling, he'd already fallen, he was in love with her, and it was only when she said it, he realised that he hadn't. Whispering it to her in the passageway wasn't the most romantic thing ever, but it made her smile, and it made him realise that maybe things would be okay when they got home, with all Andrea's talk about getting through the next six months, Mike wondered if she wanted this to carry on, if she wanted a relationship, and he hoped that they would still be able to say, 'I love you' when they docked again.

"Can I trust the both of you to keep this quiet?" Tom asked. Mike only nodded, rather shocked at what Tom had asked him, expecting nothing other than to be given a lecture on rules and orders to pack his bags.

"And, as much as I don't want to say it, I do not need a repeat of the Foster and Green situation. We need Andrea on the ship, she's the only person I trust with our engines." Mike smiled slightly, nodding, holding back a laugh, knowing that Andrea would fly off the handle if Mike even suggested her staying in his cabin longer than was necessary.

"You don't have to worry about that," Mike reassured.

"Good. I'd hate to have to bust you for it. Look, if you need to talk you know where I am. But a word of advice?" Mike nodded, knowing that whatever Tom said would mean something, and more as a friend than the CNO, which Mike appreciated.

"Tell her that you told me. A relationship is between two people, this concerns her as well." Tom sounded serious, and Mike knew that he was right, this concerned her, and Mike didn't want to lie.

"I'll tell her, just as soon as I tell her we're staying," Mike said, watching Tom nod, before he picked up his pen again, grabbing a report from the stack on his desk.

"You're dismissed…" Tom said, without looking up.

"Let's finish what we started…" Mike muttered as he left the room, his emotions all over the place and he realised just what he needed to do now.

* * *

"You wanted to see me, Sir?" Andrea asked when she saw Mike in his cabin a few hours later.

Mike nodded, waving her in, motioning to the couch. Andrea instantly thought the worse, wondering if this would be where he told her that he was leaving, along with Tom.

"I spoke to the girls and Christine, I'm going to see this through." Andrea let out a breath she'd been holding since Mike had asked to see her.

"I'm glad, is the CNO staying?" Mike nodded, closing the report folder that was open on his desk.

He watched Andrea for a few moments, she was straightening the sleeves on her uniform, and Mike knew he couldn't let her leave his room without letting her know that Tom knew about the both of them. Tom was right, this was a relationship now, even if they still weren't putting a label on it, Mike knew he couldn't keep it from her. He hoped she would be okay with it, she was the one who suggested it, but still, he didn't speak to her beforehand or give her any warning, and when she had suggested it, Mike thought it was more out of anxiety than wanting Tom to know, but now this was real, the CNO knew on both a personal and professional level. Mike wanted her to know, that although the ranks played a part, Mike told Tom as a friend and not the CNO, but on a ship in the middle of the ocean, he didn't think it would make much difference.

"I told Tom, about us. I think he knew something was different anyway, but I told him." Mike's voice seemed quieter than normal, which he personally didn't like, but he was worried what Andrea would do. After watching her collapse in front of him only a week ago, he wanted to be more careful about what he said and how he said it.

"What did he say?" Andrea asked, although her face didn't show any emotion, but Mike swore he saw fear flash through her eyes.

"We need to keep it professional, and that he doesn't want another Foster and Green situation." Andrea chuckled lightly, and Mike felt relieved, at least she wasn't storming out.

"I think we can stick to the rules," Andrea said softly. She was tired, or more like exhausted, today had taken a lot out of her, with switching between the bridge and the engine room while Mike and Tom spoke to their kids, she felt as though she spent more time running through passageways and up and down stairs than she did anything else, and that was without the added stress of wondering what Mike and Tom would do.

"You should lie down, get some sleep. I'll make sure no one bothers us." Andrea shook her head.

"I am pretty sure that's what the CNO doesn't want." Mike had to admit she was probably right, but he didn't want her to leave. He assumed he would get more of a reaction out of her when he told her that Tom knew, but she seemed to take it well.

As Andrea stood up, Mike did too, moving around his desk. Andrea stayed still, waiting to see what Mike was going to do. Having no objections when he got closer to her, reaching for her hands.

"I told him because I love you. I needed to tell someone, Andrea." Andrea only smiled, not knowing what to say to him.

"I mean it."

"I know you do, Mike. Believe me, I feel the same, I'm just trying to keep it professional, and I am beyond tired, I need some sleep before Doc Rios locks me in sickbay." Mike smiled, wanting to hug her, and tell her it was okay, but she said she wanted to stay professional, and so did he.

"Before you go and sleep, I know I said it before we left, but I want you to meet my girls when we get home, and I want to tell Christine." Andrea shook her head again, and Mike couldn't help the pang of hurt he felt in his chest.

"You need to give them time, they're still healing and they're still trying to settle in. The girls need to get used to you being there for them, they need to get to know their dad again. You've changed and so have they, Mike." Mike nodded, but Andrea could tell he wasn't going to let the subject go.

"I'm going to be around, you know? I'm still going to be there, I'm not leaving, I don't plan on hiding away, and honestly, I'm not sure I can deal with meeting your daughters. I don't want to sound bitter, but a part of me still is, and that my own fault and that's something I should deal with. You're ready to move on, you're ready for them to meet me, but Mike I don't think they are ready to meet me, and I don't think I'm ready to meet them, not as your girlfriend, or whatever this is, not yet." Mike listened to what she had to say, pulling her a little closer as she spoke.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Andrea said with a smile.

"I just don't want to lose you, Andrea." Andrea leant in to kiss him, for a moment not caring about the ship or the rules, despite being so set on keeping them and making sure no lines were crossed, but they both needed a little comfort.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise, I just think we all need a little time. We can talk about this, when we get home, and get settled, once you've become a dad again."

* * *

Andrea was finally able to leave Mike's cabin twenty minutes later. She understood Mike, he wanted to keep her, and he wanted to be a good dad, and Andrea knew that, but she had to be honest with him. They'd come so far, not just in a relationship, but since this whole thing began, moving from a working relationship to a friendship, to whatever was happening between them now.

She just hoped Mike understood that she had fallen in love with him, and she wasn't going anywhere, but there were more important things to be dealing with right now.

As Andrea walked down the passageway she passed the CNO who was stood talking to another sailor. Walking past she gave him a nod of the head, but seconds later he called her name.

"Andrea, just hang on a second." Tom caught up with her, walking in sync with each other.

"Sir." But Tom shook his head, interrupting her.

"I don't think we need ranks for the moment." Andrea looked both ways before Tom carried on.

"I assume Mike told you, that I know?" Andrea only nodded.

"Well, I wanted to see how you were." Andrea smiled slightly but was still unsure of what to say. She didn't know how Tom took the news, or what he felt about it. There was still every chance that Tom could quote the handbook and one of them could end up on the chopper, heading for the base and disciplinary action.

"I'm fine, Sir." Tom sighed a little at the use of his title.

"Tom…" Again, Andrea stopped, not feeling right using his first name in such a 'public' place.

"Can we?" She asked motioning the empty ward room behind them. Tom nodded, following her into the room, closing the door behind them.

Once inside Tom leant against the wall, waiting for Andrea to speak up again.

"Mike and I can remain professional. We supported each other before, and we're doing it now, just with a title on it, well, in your eyes. We still haven't labelled it, we know how much this mission means and we are dedicated to finishing it. I understand my panic attack may have caused some uncertainty…" Tom raised his hands, making her stop.

"You can stop being so politically correct. I'm here as a friend and not as the CNO. I understand now why Mike seemed a little more worried, but you had us all worried, me, Sasha, Doc Rios, the lads in the engine room, Alisha, and the Master Chief, all of us were worried about you, but no one thinks any less of you. You lost everything, and to then have to face the hell you did in Asia, it's understandable. What I am saying is that, professionally and personally, I am here for you." Andrea smiled, thankful for his words.

"It scares me, you know, how much this feels like home." Tom laughed a little.

"You're not alone in that one. There's something about having the ability to sink another ship that makes me sleep a little better at night." Andrea couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"Call me mad, but when we were out there, with Doctor Scott and we found out about Kara and the baby, I had all these plans to make this ship kid friendly. To send our chopper, pick up our kids and loved ones and live on the ship, be safe away from everyone else." Tom smiled.

"That's not mad at all." A silence settled around them before Andrea took a deep breath, seeing Tom once again as the CNO.

"If you'll excuse me, Sir, I would like to get some rest before I have my watch." Tom nodded, pushing himself off the wall, waiting to follow her out the room.

"If you ever need me, you know where I am."

"Thank you, Sir, I'll keep that in mind. I'm pretty sure you know where the engine room is if you ever want to talk." Andrea replied, heading for the door.

"Yeah, I think I still remember. I assume if you're not their I can just check the Captain's cabin?" Tom said with a chuckle. Andrea didn't even turn around to answer him, but she knew that Tom would tell she was smiling.

* * *

Well, that turned out a little longer than expected. I hope the end bit was okay, I hope all of it was okay! Reviews are loved and appreciated, like always. Thank you for reading. Bethany.


	23. Chapter 23

**Time to Heal – Part 23.**

Part 23 is here, finally! How are you liking these longer chapters?

Now we are heading back to land! How much more of this story would you like to see? Let me know!

Reviews are loved and appreciated! Thank you for all the other reviews, they are so lovely and encouraging! Enjoy.

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

After months at sea, a trip to Asia in which Andrea kept her feet firmly on the ship, avoiding enemy fire both on land and at sea, the crew of the Nathan James all cheered when Tom spoke to them all.

"Good Evening, Nathan James. I can confirm that our mission is now over, we're going home!" Andrea was sure she could hear those in CIC cheering from down in the engine room, but then again, those around her were cheering also, pleased to be going home after stopping World War Three and spreading the cure so people could get better and start rebuilding, then, of course, going home themselves to see family, friends and start over.

Andrea carried on with her tasks while everyone around her began talking about home, and whatever else, after a few minutes she drowned it out. Normally, she would call them out on it, telling them to talk in their own time, but she happy to let this one be, everyone on the ship deserved the moment of joy, knowing this time around they would actually be going home, back to land, back to people who cared about them.

Andrea was looking forward to being back on land, her talks with Doc Rios had helped her realise that people cared and that she would be well looked after by them all, she already knew it, but there was no harm in reminding her. Although she never thought she would have weekly therapy sessions on board a Navy Destroyer, it did more good than she thought it would. She would never be fully healed and like she told Mike all those months ago, she would never not be broken, but she was coping a little better.

Going home would have its challenges, not as hard as the ones before, but she needed to learn how to live on her own. She had been spending so much time with Mike over the last six months that she had to keep reminding herself that he had two daughters, and each time she reminded herself she felt the bitterness fade away, she didn't feel as angry as she did about his girls surviving when Lily lost to the virus. She was hopeful for Mike, hopeful that he would make it right with Christine, so they could have a decent relationship for the sake of both Katie and Amy, she was hopeful that over the next few weeks the girls would once again settle into a routine, and a few weeks after that she hoped she and Mike would settle into a routine, and they could begin to work things out, things could begin to feel normal. Andrea had more dry dock to look forward to, although the Nathan James was a lot better than she had been, repairs still needed doing, and with the growing Navy back home, Andrea had already been told about two submarines, the USS Ohio and the USS Louisiana, both from the Naval Base in Washington, both in need of repairs and she'd heard rumours about other ships that had survived the virus which would also need work doing to them.

Whilst she was not the only engineer in dry dock, Tom had made her the most senior, which was fine with only the Nathan James on their to-do list, but with other ships, she was sure she was going to need more help, and possibly someone else to share the command. Either way, she was looking on the positive side, which was another thing Doc Rios had told her, she was thinking positive, knowing that when she was on dry land she would have something to fill her time, other than staring at blank walls and tiptoeing around the subject of her relationship with Mike.

"Ma'am." A voice behind her pulled her out of her thought. Turning around she looked at the engineer, holding a clipboard in one hand and some bolts in the other, it took everything within her not to do what she called the 'mum thing' knowing that she couldn't maintain the ship on her own, no matter how much she wanted to tell them to leave it and that she would fix it.

"What can I help you with, Davidson?"

* * *

After what felt like hours in the engine room, Andrea finally got some relief on the landing deck. Still, after years of working in small spaces, the intense heat still got too much after a while. She was pleased to be spending her time 'outside' alone, as much as she wouldn't have minded Mike's company, she needed to be on her own, she needed to go through the to-do list she'd be making over the last few days, everything she needed to do when she got home. Of course, dry dock would be full of jobs, but she was more focused on the personal things she wanted to do. She wanted to paint her apartment, make it look a little nicer before she shipped out she'd found two old vintage boxes that she wanted to repaint and decorate, make them into memory boxes for Bill and Lily, she wanted to keep photographs and clothing safe. Another thing she wanted to do was take off her wedding band. She wore it around a chain on her neck when she was working, but she put it on as soon as she left the lower deck, she needed to take it off, she had said goodbye to both her husband and child but now she needed to put an end to her marriage.

It would be another part of moving on. She also thought about taking the 'L' necklace from around her neck, keeping it safe in a memory box, swapping it out for something else, or wearing nothing at all. She knew she'd picked up a few sentimental jewellery boxes that she and Bill kept, parents jewellery, promise rings, keepsakes for Lily, but now Lily would never wear them, so maybe she could?

Andrea wanted to make her house into a home, she wanted to fix herself enough to have a social life, as well as a personal one, she was now sure she wanted a relationship, not just with Mike, but with his girls, she wanted to keep in touch with all those she'd served with. Andrea wanted to start over, and although she wouldn't admit it, she knew she had Rios and his onboard counselling service to thank for that. Despite feeling bad and embarrassed at the need to talk about her feelings for an hour a week to do her duty, it had helped in more ways than one.

Walking back from the landing deck, she headed for her cabin, she was in much need of some sleep, or at least somewhere she could lay down for a while. Maybe she would write up her mental to-do list, or try before the engine room status report caught her attention.

* * *

Her room was quiet, but it was the middle of the night now. It was black outside, more so without streetlights to light up random strangers, and with the sea as dark as it was this far out from land, it was like staring into the abyss, not that Andrea told herself that too often. As she laid down, still clad in her uniform, her hair still in a tight knot and her boots still firmly on her feet, she began to wonder about her future and this ship. She was happy to get news of more ships being found, more ships needing to be repaid, it was a good sign that the Navy, and now the Military was growing again, but the more she thought about the Navy, the more she thought about moving on, and starting over, the more she wondered if she wanted to be shipped out again.

Admittedly, the closer they got to home, the more Andrea thought about her and Mike, the relationship they could have, or would have, as Mike told her. Once he found some stable ground with his daughters, once they fell into a routine, Andrea would feel as though they had a chance at some kind of romantic, loving relationship. The closer they got to dry land, the more Andrea realised she wanted the relationship, but she also wanted some stability, she and Mike would never be able to deploy together, he would no longer be her captain, and the more she thought about that, about not being able to be with this crew, it became clear that starting over meant starting a new in her military career.

"Oh God…" Andrea muttered to herself. Her thoughts all day had been running wild, and now she was regretting it. She should have joined in with celebrations, she should have gone up to the bridge, or spoken to Mike, given herself something to do. Now her head was spinning with all of these thoughts, decisions she would have to make, and she knew if she kept going she wouldn't get any sleep.

Sitting up she set about getting changed, taking her hair down, because she assumed that her hair being pulled so tightly into a knot was partly the reason for her headache, taking her boots off and changing into something she would move freely in, then she was going to grab her notebook and write, all the things she wanted to do when the 'Nathan James' docked and all the decisions she wanted, and possibly needed to make.

* * *

Mike was happy and ready to go home. Although he was pleased he'd finished what the crew started a lifetime ago, he was happy to be going home, to be able to see his daughters on a daily basis. He'd missed them, he wanted to hold them, tell them they were safe and that now he wouldn't let anything happen to them. He wanted to hear their voices and see them smile, pictures and unclear videos calls were no longer keeping his spirits up, he needed to go home, he needed to see his girls.

Mike had a huge grin on his face when Tom told the crew they were going home, he assumed everyone on the ship was cheering, most of which he could hear, which made him feel as though this whole thing had been a success despite how close they'd come to losing crew members and the ship itself.

He had finished what he'd started and now he was going home to rebuild. To begin again, to become a father again, this time, doing a better job than before. Mike thought that now the mission was over and everyone was granted some much-needed rest and with the base trying to return to some form of normality he could finally grieve. For Lucas, the loss of his marriage, for the men and women they'd lost as sea and for the many innocent people who'd died. On the surface, Mike was sure few saw him as an emotional man, but he was patriotic and human, many innocent Americans had died, his son had died.

Innocent people had lost their lives. He felt he needed to grieve with the rest of the world, and then he could help rebuild. Help Tom with the Navy, help the President with the country, but most importantly, help Christine with his daughters, making sure that now he was home Katie and Amy saw him enough, knew how much he loved them, and were healing okay. It would be a difficult task, and one that may prove to be too much for some people just like he was sure rebuilding was going to come with challenges, some would be personal, and other would be nationwide, but after seeing how strong people could really be, seeing how tough people were when fighting through a pandemic, Mike was sure they could cope.

He'd spoken to Tom a few times, both of them wanting to know where the other would go from here. Both of them, having no doubt that the Navy would still be a big part of their lives, Tom wanted to be CNO, without having to go back to the Nathan James, and Mike wanted his own command without Tom watching over his shoulder, both saw the conversation as light-hearted, but it was good to know the both of them were serious about the Military and sticking around.

As Mike finished his watch, he let Tom take over, since he was on board, it took himself, Tom and Andrea only an hour to come up with a schedule that worked for all three of them, and Mike was pleased to get some rest, knowing the engines were in good, capable hands, and the old Captain was taking charge of the ship.

Mike didn't have much planning or thinking to do, where going home was concerned, for him it was simple. Katie and Amy. He needed to make sure they were okay, he wanted to see them, watch them, be a part of their conversations, he wanted to deal with the teenage drama, in a nutshell, he wanted to be their dad again. Before, the Navy had meant so much to him, and that hadn't changed, but now, after nearly losing his daughters and forever carrying the pain of losing his son, he knew now he would put them first.

As he got to his cabin, his mind reminded him of Andrea. A part of him wanted her to be sat waiting for him, reading some report, commenting on how bad some of the guys handwriting was, but when he pushed open the door, his cabin was empty. Andrea was a part of his plan. Of course, he would put Katie and Amy first, and with that he was going to make sure Christine was okay, making sure she has all she needed in the way of a home, food, water, money, everything, but Andrea was still a part of going home, he could no longer deny that he was in love with her, and he wanted a life with her, but she was right, and he knew it. His girls came first.

Mike hated the fact that it seemed like a numbered list, all the things he needed to do, but it was easier to look at it that way. As he sat down on the couch, he let his head roll back sighing, he just kept thinking about his daughters and seeing them smile again, being proud of them, making sure they had a father, that would be his main priority, his main commitment, everything else would have to fall in with that.

After a few more minutes of thinking, making mental notes and smiling at memories that replayed over and over in his head, before the virus, before it took his boy away from him, before he and Christine began to drift apart, family trips to the beach, camp fires, Fourth of July, kids birthday parties, bedtimes stories and lazy Sunday mornings, everything, all of the good times he had, those would be the things that he needed to hold on to, that he needed to remind Katie and Amy of, because he was sure one way or another both his girls and himself could have that happiness back.

* * *

Mike had spent some time thinking, perfecting his 'returning home' plan in his head, before he realised how late it was, and how little sleep he was getting. Despite feeling tired, sleep was the last thing on his mind, for once he had little paperwork and convinced himself it could be done tomorrow, so all he did was sit on the couch, staring at the wall, letting his mind wondered until a knock at the door forced him to stand and groan at the thought of making conversation.

Pulling his cabin door open, Andrea stood on the other side, she looked tired, but like him, he assumed she couldn't sleep.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asked, letting her into his cabin, seeing the stack of folders she'd brought with her.

"I thought you would be having the same trouble, so I thought I would bring my paperwork, we can keep each other company." Mike wasn't planning on starting on the stack of folders until tomorrow, but with Andrea there it gave him some motivation. It reminded him of their time spent together after Asia, the way they would just sit in silence, filling in paperwork, reading reports, sharing jokes every so often, it was nice, and Mike was happy to do it again.

Over the last three months, both Andrea and Mike had managed to stay professional. Andrea was still suffering from the panic attacks, but she was coping a lot better, and Mike was still wanting more, but holding back, knowing that now Tom would be watching their every move when they were together.

"Any plans for when we dock?" Mike asked, he took one look at the report and realised how much he wanted to push it aside and do it tomorrow. Paperwork was not his thing.

Andrea looked up at him, from where she'd sat down on the couch. She put her pen down, leaning back slightly, conversations with Mike always ended up being a distraction, and a five-minute conversation would take an hour.

"Rebuild, I guess. I'd like to redecorate my apartment, instead of living in a white box. I heard we have two submarines in need of some fixing up, so that should take up a lot of my time, and then training new engineers."

"Did you enjoy running the engineering department?" Andrea nodded, closing the folder that was in her lap, pushing it onto the coffee table.

"I did. I am happy to do it again. I hope that I will have a little more help, I keep hoping that a new engineer has turned up with the skill and experience to help me out, so I can share the responsibility, but I'm looking forward to it, now the mission is over, I think we can all start to rebuild." Andrea didn't want to say too much, normally she would have shared her thoughts about getting reassigned to base, about the memory boxes for Bill and Lily, she would have shared her thought about him and the girls, about what going home meant for the two of them and their relationship, but she didn't feel strong enough to have the conversation.

"What about you? Surely you want to spend some time with Katie and Amy?" Andrea asked after a moment.

"Yeah, I'm going to try and be a dad again, and once I've got that sorted then I'm going to help rebuild. A lot of recruits need training, the military really needs rebooting, but first, I need to fix my relationship with my girls, get us all into a routine." Mike said, again, thought of just how he was going to do that rushing around his head, wondering if they'll still want him around after he left for six months when he'd only just got them back. He managed to push those thoughts down, knowing he would try as hard as he could to make it work, for the sake of Katie and Amy.

"We should really get on with this paperwork," Andrea said with a smile, leaning forward to pick up the folder she was looking at earlier.

"If you say so." Andrea chuckled a little.

"I can always go back to my own cabin and…" Andrea said, knowing how much Mike would want her to stay.

"No, it's fine, paperwork it is..."

* * *

Part 23 is done, I wanted to make this a little happier, but now they're heading home, they are healing, which I see as a good thing, what do you think? Reviews are loved and appreciated! Thank you for reading. Bethany.


	24. Chapter 24

**Time to Heal – Part 24.**

Homecoming! I was really excited to write this part. Any mistakes made are my own, but I hope you still find this enjoyable.

Reviews are very much loved and appreciated, thank you for reviews on other chapters, enjoy!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

Mike had forgotten what it felt like to hold his girls in his arms after spending six months at sea. He was surprised to see them there, in all honesty, he had expected Christine to keep them home, call him and ask him to come around in the evening once everyone had settled, but the minute he stepped foot on dry land he heard his girls shouting 'dad' and was then greeted with hugs, smiles and tears of joy. Mike was happy to admit he cried, only before looking to the left of him he saw Tom doing the same, hugging his children, telling them how much he'd missed them, and how much he was looking forward to hearing their stories and how he was going to be home for a long time.

Mike held his girls tight before looking up to see Christine, he wasn't sure what to do, but it felt right to hug her. After a few minutes Mike knew he would need to go and debrief with the rest of the crew, but he didn't want to leave his girls. Looking over at Tom again, and seeing how closely he was holding both Ashley and Sam, it was clear the debrief wouldn't last very long.

"I need to be with the crew, right now, but if you want you can stick around, I doubt we'll be in there for long, and then we can talk, you can tell me all about school," Mike said to his girls, looking over to Christine, just to make sure it was okay with her.

"Can we stay with you tonight dad?" Amy asked.

"Amy, your dad has just gotten back from six months at sea and you have school in the morning." Mike wanted to argue with Christine, but now was not the time and the place.

"How about we get take-out instead and I'll take you both home when you're done, and your mum and I will sort out when you can stay next?" Mike suggested, still holding them both close. After a short minute, both girls nodded, and a few minutes after that Mike was walking into the main building, where Tom's office would be, only five minutes away from the White House.

* * *

"Your girls looked happy to see you," Andrea said with a smile as she and Mike walked together.

"I was surprised, I didn't think Christine would let them come down here, but she did and I was so pleased to see them both, both happy and smiling, pleased to see me." Mike couldn't hide the grin from his face.

"They've missed you! Now you get to really start over, you know you won't be redeploying for a while, so you can really spend time getting to know them, really getting to know them, and they can get to know you. Everyone changed during the pandemic, so it'll be nice for you to spend quality time with them." Andrea told her, the bitterness and jealousy she once felt was replaced with hope for him and his daughters.

"I'm excited, you know?" Andrea laughed a little.

"I would be really worried if you weren't excited! It's like I told you months ago, you get a second chance. This is good, it will be good for you and the girls and maybe for you and Christine, maybe with you home, the two of you can talk and you can both grieve." Andrea suggested with a shrug, stopping just being the large conference room.

"I'm sorry you didn't get your homecoming," Mike said quietly, with a sad smile.

"I got my homecoming, in here." Andrea said placing a hand over her heart.

* * *

As the meeting came to a close, everyone was just pleased to be home and happy to be able to see friends and family. Tom was one of the first people to leave, the new President told him that they would speak tomorrow, but was understanding that right now the crew of the 'Nathan James' needed to be with their families.

Mike watched as Andrea left, she hadn't said much, but he could tell the realisation had now hit her, the fact that they were home, the fact Lily still wasn't there. It hurt and Mike could see it, but then again, he was sure everyone could see it. A part of him wanted to go after her and hold her as she cried, but he had made a commitment with his daughters and somewhere deep down he knew how annoyed Andrea would feel if he was with her and not them.

Watching Andrea until she was out of sight, Mike walked back down to the foyer of the building, happy to see Katie and Amy still waiting for him.

"DAD!" It was Katie who noticed him first. Hugging them both a second time, he watched as they put their things back into their bags.

"I told them they can stay for dinner, but the need to be home for 9. They have school in the morning and I don't want to throw them out of their routine." Mike nodded, looking between Christine and his girls.

"No, I understand, I'll bring them home. Look, I thought that maybe once everyone is settled we can talk again."

"I have nothing to say, Mike." Christine shrugged. "I still want a divorce, I still want you to share custody of the girls, that's it. I can't talk to you about Lucas, I am grieving and healing on my own and I hope you can do the same. I can't tell you how it happened, I won't…" Mike stopped her.

"I'm not asking you to, Chris. I just want to make this as easy as possible."

"It's never going to be easy, Mike, not anymore." Mike could only nod, she was right, things would always be hard, but Mike would keep on trying, he would keep trying to make it work, between him and Christine and between him and his girls.

"So, what take out are we getting dad?" Amy asked, well, more like shouted.

"Whatever you girls want," Mike answered her question.

"I'll have them home by nine, don't worry," Mike told Christine, who then moved over to the girls.

"I'll leave you with your father, but you'll be home by nine, so I hope you were honest about getting your school work done. Maybe tomorrow your dad and I can talk about schedules, school routines and clubs and we can sort something out." Both girls nodded with smiles at the thought of spending more time with their father, and Mike was pleased that despite the loss of his marriage, Christine wasn't going to make things hard for him, or try to take Katie and Amy away from him.

"Come on then girls, let's go," Mike said ushering the pair out of the building, engaging in conversations.

The three of them walked across the base, heading towards the apartments, Katie and Amy filling him in on everything that had happened over the last six months, the biggest thing being school.

"So, mum said I can join the science club, the running club and do art after school on Tuesdays, which means I won't be able to do the film club, but I don't mind." Mike had forgotten the days when friendship groups and after school clubs ruled everything.

"What about you Kate?" Mike asked.

"Well, I'm on the swim team, we're doing an ocean swim in a few weeks. I didn't really want to join any of the club, seven hours of school is enough." Mike laughed a little. There was the Katie he knew and loved.

"So, what lessons are you doing? Your mum mentioned you've got language teachers now?" Mike remembered Christine filling him in on one of their videos calls when he was deployed.

"They're just people who survived the virus but couldn't get back home. We now have Spanish, French, German, and Japanese's lessons." Amy put in, as they entered the block of apartments, making their way up to the third floor.

"We do English, Maths, basic science, languages, history, geography and sports. Mum said that the more teachers we get and the more people we find who have survived, the more subject they'll teach, but President Williamson said she's looking for buildings that we can turn into schools. Some of the older kids are signing up and joining the Navy anyway." Katie explained, seemingly happy about the subjects she studied, or the subject people attempted to teach.

Getting into the apartment, both girls headed for the couch, which made Mike smile, he was pleased to see they treated his apartment like home.

"Have you girls made any new friends while I've been away?" Mike put his bag down next to his bedroom door hoping he would have the motivation after dinner to sort through his things.

"Yeah, a few, mum said it's good that we don't hang around with each other all the time."

"She's right, you can be there for each other, but you also need to start making new friends." Mike sat down opposite them, happy to listen to their conversation all night.

After speaking to Christine, she'd told him that the girls didn't want to talk about what happened, she had got them a therapist. Mike had respected that, and the next time he spoke to the girls, they too told him about the therapist they'd been seeing and that they only wanted to talk about the pandemic with her. Mike thought it was strange at first, but he could understand why. With a father who wasn't with them and a mother who was still suffering after watching their brother die, he was happy to let the girls cope in whichever way they felt they needed to and right now that was by talking to him about school, and to the therapist about the last year.

After another hour of talking, the girls decided they wanted to eat, and only thirty minutes after that, Mike was sat with his daughters eating takeout food, and for the slightest moment, it felt as though nothing had changed. He was determined to do this as much as he could, he was determined to be a father again.

* * *

Taking them back home was hard, he realised he didn't want them to go and he wanted them to stay with him the night, so he could hear more of the conversations, more about the new friends, more about school and everything else that happened in the last six months, but Christine was right, they needed their routine.

Katie got out the car first, but Amy stayed in her seat, looking at the floor.

"Something on your mind, kiddo?" Mike asked, looking over at her in the passenger seat.

"I know mum told you about the therapist we go and see, and that we only talk to her…" Katie trailed off.

"She said it was helping, especially with the nightmares, which is really good," Mike said with a small smile.

"It is, and I like her, and I can talk without upsetting anyone, and I like that right now, but when I want to, can I talk to you about what happened?" Mike gave her another smile.

"Of course, you can. If you only want to talk to your therapist then that is fine, if you want to talk to me then that's fine too, if you want to tell your mum things and not tell me, that's okay. I just want you to feel happy and safe, Amy. I know it's going to take a long time for that to happen, but I want to help you in whatever way I can." Amy nodded, looking over to her father, reaching out to hug him.

"I love you, dad."

"I love you too, sweetheart."

* * *

Andrea had been busy for the best part of being home. With laundry now drying, and her bed remade, she had made a start on the memory boxes for her husband and daughter. Lily's was hard to do, looking through all the photographs, holding clothing items close to her chest, remembering all the time her little girl wore them, taking off the 'L' necklace that she'd worn around her neck for the last ten years, a thought crossing her mind at how she hadn't lost it. In the jungle, for a moment, she convinced herself it would be gone, but when those who came to save them handed them back their uniforms she was brought to tears when she found it in the front pocket of her dress whites. From all she gathered from home, she was happy that she'd been able to pick up some of Lily's baby items, the teddy she was given in the hospital, her blanket, the outfit she wore to go home, things she knew she just couldn't part with. The boxes still needed decorating, Andrea knew she wanted them to look nice, she wanted them in her bedroom, something to look through on the lonely nights and anniversaries, not that her husband or child were now decorative pieces, but she needed something she could see, something she knew she could go to when things got so bad that she felt like she too was going to die.

She heard the dryer stop and knew she would have to get up and empty it, it was one of the things she always got annoyed at Bill about. All the times she would hunt high and low for clothing or pillow slips and Bill had left them in the dryer. She could leave the ironing until tomorrow morning, she was too tired to do it now, and sorting out memory boxes had drained her mentally, then the voice of Doc Rios came into mind only briefly, how she needed sleep, and that he would confine her to a hospital bed if she didn't. She wasn't sure if he could or not, but it wasn't something she wanted to challenge. Hearing the dryer beep again, she got to her feet, from her sitting position on her floor, she paused just before she could leave her room, looking at the memory box for her late husband, she knew it was almost finished, apart from decorating the front with whatever paper or paint she could find, but she knew it wouldn't be finished until the last piece of jewellery was in it.

Looking down at her hand, it took her only seconds to pull off both her engagement ring and her wedding band, squeezing her eyes shut to fight the tears she felt falling, she held both rings close to her chest, the two pieces of jewellery she told herself years ago that she would near take off, or at least not in the final sense.

"I keep telling myself that you wouldn't have wanted this for me, but it's so hard, I just wish I had the chance to say goodbye, to tell you and Lily that it would be okay. I wanted to tell you I loved you both, with all of my heart…" Andrea whispered, keeping a small belief that her husband could hear her.

Unclenching her hand, she looked at the rings one more time, tears now streaming down her face. She knelt back down on the floor, looking at the items that laid at the top of the box, her eyes settling on their wedding picture, Andrea's had flooded with memories of the day, how happy they'd both been, how Andrea' face had hurt from smiling, and how much love there was between them, she wanted that moment back, just for one last time. Placing the rings onto the photograph she wondered if there would come a day when she would wear those rings again, maybe the ones from him, or maybe new ones from someone else, but she stopped her train of thought, she couldn't cope with that right now. Taking a deep breath, she reached for the lid of the box, taking a final look at the jewellery she said she'd never take off, before placing the lid on top, her heart aching too much for her to be able to move at that moment in time, her cries had turned into sobs as she covered her mouth to try and dull the sound, every part of her breaking down into what felt like a painful world of pure hurt, guilt, grief, anger, and heartache.

Andrea had said goodbye to them both at the house, she had finished the mission that they set out to do over a year ago, and now she had parted with her husband, taking off the band he'd put on her finger nearly fifteen years ago. Andrea was moving on, maybe not right now, but she was going to move on with nothing but memories, and for once when she had stopped crying she hoped it felt doable.

* * *

Reviews are loved and appreciated, thank you for reading. Bethany.


	25. Chapter 25

**Time to Heal – Part 25.**

I think this is probably the most 'up and down' chapter emotionally.

Reviews are loved and appreciated, thank you for all the other lovely reviews. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Mistakes are my own, I'm sorry,

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

It had only been three days since Mike had gotten home, but he had seen a slight improvement in his relationship with his soon to be ex-wife. Christine was sat in his apartment, pen in her hand looking down at the schedule they'd created over coffee.

"I spoke to both girls, they said they'd feel more comfortable with me taking them to therapy, but I can always drop them here afterwards if it's your turn to have them. You know, in the week, I can pick them up and take them and then bring them back." Mike nodded in understanding.

"Yeah, no, that's fine. I've spoken to Tom, for the next few weeks while we get settled I'm going to be working short days in the office, so I will be home when the girls get home from school, or I can pick them up if you'd feel more comfortable with that." Mike sat back down, putting a cup of coffee in front of her.

"I think they're okay walking. Especially with you living on base, and I also want them to have some independence. I'm also glad you'll be doing shorter days, I think it will take some time for the girls to adjust to the seven-day schedule." She and Mike had agreed on a seven-day schedule, they would spend a week with Christine, before going to Mike's on a Sunday evening and spending the week with him before going back to Christine's. The girls could keep in touch with friends, and still attend clubs, due to Mike and Christine not living any further than a twenty-minute walk away, although they both knew the girls wouldn't be walking anywhere alone unless it was from school to Mike's apartment where they were surrounded by Military personal.

"Um, Amy told me what you said, about talking to her, when the time comes," Christine said after a moment of silence. Mike was looking at the school time table, something else he knew he would need to memorise and stick on the fridge so the girls would have a reminder.

"Right now, she feels comfortable speaking to the therapist, and that's okay, and she may never speak to me, but I wanted her to know that I would be here if she did," Mike explained, but Christine's facial expression told him that she already knew.

Silence settled around them, Christine was staring at her coffee mug, while Mike looked between the sheet of paper in front of him and the woman sat across from him, he wanted to comfort her in some way, but he didn't want to upset her further, so he sat and waited, to see if she would say what she wanted to, or bottle it up for another time.

"I know what I said about not wanting to talk, but I do. I want to talk about the girls and do the best we can for them, I want us to be somewhat friends, Mike. I don't want to be the bitter ex-wife, we still have our little girls who need looking after…" Mike reached over to take her hand but didn't say anything. A part of him not knowing what to say, only feeling a sense of relief wash over him as she confirmed once again that she would not take his girls away.

"Do you, do you want to know about Lucas?" Mike felt his breath catch in his throat and pulled his hand back when she asked. He didn't know. Of course, he had thought about it, but he was so sure that Christine would never tell him, that he convinced himself that he would never know, and eventually, after the one-year mark, he convinced himself that he didn't need to know, but now he was doubting himself, maybe he did need to be told, and it was maybe what Christine needed as well.

"Was he in pain?" Mike asked, not wanting to know any more than that, not sure he could take it, and not wanting to cause Christine any more pain. They'd made progress that morning, both of them smiling, talking about the girls, Christine talking about school and filling him in on the shooting and safe houses, as well as the girls' night time routines and what to do should they wake up screaming, he didn't want to ruin that progress, even if the reason was their little boy.

"No. It was quick, after the onset, he was gone within two days, the doctor, said, that because he was younger…" Christine couldn't finish her sentence, her eyes filling with tears that would fall at any moment, but it didn't matter, Mike knew what she meant, he caught on to what the doctor had told her, and even though it broke his heart, and his throat felt tight and he could feel the tears behind his eyes, it comforted him to know that it was quick and painless for his son.

"Thank you," Mike said, giving Christine a small smile. She only nodded in response.

"I know you deserve the truth, but I can't."

"I know, and it's okay. We should focus on the two kids we have here with us and make sure we do all we can for them." Mike repeated what she had been telling him for weeks, knowing that despite his words, Christine would never be able to fully focus on the girls, a part of her, he assumed, would always be thinking about what happened to Lucas.

Mike's mind would wonder to, but Christine was with Lucas, he wasn't.

* * *

Christine had left not long after, saying she was sorry, and that they would keep in touch. He mentioned the girls, and she had told him that they had therapy that afternoon once school was out. Christine seemed okay with Mike saying he would call them later that evening to speak to them both, making sure they were both okay, saying good night before they went to sleep, hoping his words would make a difference to the nightmares they had.

Mike had sat on his couch for over an hour, he had sat in silence, ignoring his phone when it beeped, and the noises outside, he just needed some time to understand what Christine had said about Lucas. He wasn't ashamed to admit that he'd cried when she had left, he felt broken inside but was comforted by the fact that his little boy didn't suffer. He hated himself for trying to see the positive side of it because he knew that there was no positive side, his little boy was gone, far too early, and Mike didn't get the chance to say goodbye.

He looked up when he heard voices outside of his apartment, he couldn't quite hear what they were saying or hear them clearly enough to know who it was but the voices soon faded. He wanted to go back to the memories, to replaying the good times he'd shared with his kids, the day they were born, birthdays and Christmas, but the voices had knocked him out of his trance. Instead, he reached over to pick up his phone, a missed call from Tom, who he would call back later and a text from Andrea.

' _How did it go with Christine? I'm here if you need me. x'_

He smiled, pressing the text box to type out a reply.

' _I'll bring dinner over tonight, I can fill you in on my kid's elaborate schedule. I want my kids to go far, but six clubs a week seems a little over the top. x'_

His phone buzzed moments later with a reply, he didn't want to get into a deep conversation over text, and he was wondering if or not to tell Andrea about Lucas. He thought that it would help her, knowing that Lucas and Lily were around the same age, maybe she would find some comfort in knowing that it was quick and almost painless.

' _Sounds like a plan. Over the top is good, the more time they spend outside, with other people, the quicker they feel comfortable, think of it as healing. x'_

Mike thought about it for a moment, trying to keep the conversation light.

' _Says the one who's not having to pay for it. What you call healing, I call expensive. x'_

His phone buzzed seconds later.

' _Engine parts are expensive, paintbrushes are a necessity for every little girl. I'll be home for 6, I'll take it that I'll see you at 6:05. Duty calls, before one of these engineer's end up breaking something. Now that would be expensive, wouldn't it? x'_

Mike chuckled lightly, surprised that Andrea had remembered the clubs he'd told her about when she'd asked how his evening with Amy and Katie went. He was happy she was interested, but he didn't want to talk too much, in his eyes Andrea had come so far, and he worried that the more he spoke about his girls, the more she would push him away, but in the three days they had been home, it was Andrea who asked. Mike only hoped the next step would include meeting them.

* * *

Andrea was right, Mike showed up at her apartment at 6:08, with a bottle of wine in one hand, and takeout food in the other. Bacon had opened his services to everyone on the base, cooking takeout food for whoever wanted it since getting off the ship, which seemed to please everyone seen as food was still being circulated around the country.

"Do you mind sorting the food out, while I change?" Andrea asked when Mike walked in. He only nodded, heading towards the kitchen, while Andrea headed for her bedroom to put on something more comfortable. She was lucky, she didn't mind her uniform, but with her hair being pulled back so tight it was giving her a headache, and the oil stains on her uniform were sure to have gone through to her skin, which, she didn't really mind, but it was pain to get off.

Appearing from her room moments later, happy at the sight of food, she smiled over at Mike who was pouring wine into coffee mugs, which was not at all romantic or even socially acceptable, but wine glasses, and any other culturally that wasn't available on Navy ships was hard to come by.

"When do you have the girls next, then?" Andrea asked with a smile, as she sat down on the couch.

"Next week. Tom has given me short working days until I find a routine that works, it looks simple on paper, all of their classes and clubs are on the base, and the girls asked that Christine pick them up and take them to therapy, so I am hoping they settle into it well." Mike was prepared for both girls to be a little unsettled before he deployed they had a routine, but the girls spend a lot of their time either with their mother or sleeping. Towards the end of his time on the base before deployment, they'd started classes, but it wasn't enough to be considered school, like it is now.

"That's positive. They like to spend time with you, and the therapy thing was to be expected, but don't take it personally. Besides, with the seven-day schedule, it really gives them time to spend with you, it's not just weekends and dinners." Andrea said, before taking a sip of her wine.

"I'm looking forward to it, after a few weeks, I think they'll really settle in and this time I'm not leaving, so I'm going to be around more, hopefully, they'll get to meet you." Andrea only nodded, she knew where he was taking this. She couldn't entertain the idea of meeting his daughters, not yet.

The mission was finished, and she was certain of it, but she wanted her relationship to be certain as well before she met the girls and became a part of their lives.

"How's your relationship with Christine looking? I know you were worried about it." Andrea asked, moving the conversation along.

"It's okay, I think. When she was younger, her mother moved both herself and her sister across the country, she didn't get to see her dad. I think because of that, she wants me to have a relationship with Amy and Katie, which I am grateful for. She still wants a divorce, and I think a part of me does too." Mike had processed it while at sea, a part of him was still hurt by it, but he was understanding, things had been bad before, the pandemic and the death of Lucas had only added fuel to the fire.

"Well, divorced or not, you get your girls, and with the schedule you've worked out you can really be a part of their lives…" Andrea said, meaning to go on, but what Mike said stopped her.

"She told me about Lucas. Not all of it, but just…" Mike stopped, looking over at Andrea, not knowing if this would be something she would want to hear or not. It gave him the slightest bit of comfort, and he hoped it would give Andrea comfort to, but he didn't know if she was at that stage, he didn't know if she wanted to know yet.

They'd spoken about it before, but with everything that happened while away, with the assassination, and being in Asia, Mike hadn't been there for her like he should have been, he'd witnessed the panic attacks, but had never spoken to her about them, he hadn't listened to her. Before, he always felt like he knew just where her head was at, but he had been so focused on the ship and his daughters, that he was now realising, she'd been coping on her own, which of course, was a good thing, but it also meant Mike really didn't know where she was at when it came to her grieving process.

"Mike, I…" Andrea moved to put her plate on the coffee table, looking back at him in what looked like disbelief.

Mike also moved to put his plate of food on the coffee table, before reaching out to take her hands, wanting to explain. Hoping that he would get the chance because he felt bad for bringing it up, but he was so torn, torn between telling her, because she was the one he shared everything with, and not telling her because she was healing too.

A silence settled around them, as Mike tried to desperately think of something to say, something that would make the situation easier. He had come here to talk, to have a nice evening and he felt as if he had ruined it.

"Andrea…" Andrea shook her head, signalling for him to stop talking.

"I can't. I can't know, not right now, not yet. I know we talk about all of this, but I can't know how…" Andrea couldn't finish her sentence, tears that had been building in the corners of her eyes were now making tracks down her cheeks, but she made no effort to wipe them away.

"I wasn't thinking…" Mike said, but he knew it was a pathetic excuse. He pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her, running his hand up and down her back whispering soothing words, telling her that he was sorry and that it was okay.

"I think one day it will be all I can think about, how it happened. I just keep hoping Lily went first, just so she wasn't alone in the end." Andrea said minutes later, as the pair settled into a comfortable position on the couch, Andrea laid against Mike's chest, as he held her close.

"I know. She was a tough little kid, just like her mum." Mike said feeling stupid saying it. He wanted to say something that would have some meaning, something that might make her feel better, but he had nothing.

* * *

They laid in silence for a while, neither of them feeling the need to speak. Andrea's mind was racing at a thousand thoughts per minute, again, she felt conflicted, which seemed to be normal for her these days. She couldn't talk about Lily's death, not yet, it was still too soon, it still hurt too much, she still had days where she couldn't look at the pictures because it made her heart ache. She knew right now meeting Mike's daughter wasn't the best idea, she wanted to meet them, and hopefully become a part of their lives, but, she needed to be settled and comfortable for that, and she thought it would be best if Amy and Katie were settled too. Once they were in a routine, and she and Mike had figured out whatever they needed too, then she would bring it up in conversation.

Her mind switched back to her and Mike. She kept thinking that they needed to sort things out, that things needed to be perfect, or they needed a plan, but the more she laid in his arms, the more they spoke on the phone, the more hugs, the more kisses, the more laughs and 'I love you' Andrea realised that, no, they didn't need a plan. Maybe it was her, maybe she was the one making things complicated, and over thinking things, when really, she didn't need to. She couldn't make it any clearer that she loved him, and from where she was stood Mike loved her too.

Was she scared? Worried? Guilty? Guilty because she was moving on? Or maybe because of Christine and the girls? Guilty because Mike made her smile, and she should be in tears mourning the loss of her husband and daughter?

She had been to her home, she had taken off her wedding band, she had completed a mission, the world was healing, she was healing, and she was also done with waiting, she spent months putting her feelings on hold, at her own request, only to be the one who kissed him in his cabin and hope no one found out. When Mike left the ship, and entered Asia with half of the crew she had felt physically sick the whole time, but not because that was her crew, and he was her Captain, but because she knew she could potentially lose the man she had grown to love, and need.

Andrea sat up, stopping her train of through momentarily looking over at Mike, who seemed to also be deep in thought.

"I love you," Andrea said, almost too bluntly for her own liking.

"I love you too, Andrea," Mike said. Looking at her properly he could see the look of fear in her eyes and the slight build-up of tears behind them.

"I want this, whatever you want to call it, this relationship, I want it. I've wanted it for a long time, and I keep trying to stop myself from feeling this way because I keep thinking I should be grieving, and in these past few months, I felt like I shouldn't be happy, and you make me happy, you make me smile, and I have this voice in my head that tells me I need to be sad and I need to cry, because I lost everything, but I don't want to be sad anymore, I don't want to focus on a mission, or on the ship, I want to focus on me, and what I need is you, because, Mike, you make me happy and you make me smile, and above all of that, you have made me fall hopelessly in love with you."

Mike sat stunned for a moment before pushing himself up off the couch. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't, he didn't know what to say, or if he should say anything at all. He wanted it too, he wanted her, and a relationship, and a family life, and he was prepared for that in some way. He could help Andrea on the bad days, just like he did now, and they'd both proven they could be professional, but with all the thoughts running through his mind, he was still speechless.

"You know I don't do deep and meaningful, Andrea…" He wanted to tell her that he loved her too, but she cut him off.

"Kiss me instead, then." She said, wanting something from him. She knew he didn't like deep, heartfelt conversations and she could live with that, but right now, she just needed to know that he understood her, and his words were true, that he really did love her.

* * *

Mike woke up to the sound of an alarm, and with Andrea curled up next to him. Groaning slightly, Mike tried to push himself up to see where the annoying beeping was coming from. Landing on Andrea's phone on the nightstand, he picked it up to shut it off.

5:15am.

Letting his head fall back onto the pillow he pushed the phone back on to the nightstand, looking at Andrea who was still asleep. He assumed she was exhausted, she had spent most of the night crying and confessing, and Mike was sure it was enough to make anyone sleep for a week.

Mike remembered everything she said, about how she was ready and how he made her smile. It felt nice to hear those words again. He understood that it would still be a slow process, but at least this was a step forward, right now, he just wanted to keep making her happy. He was sure at one point he was the reason for Christine's happiness, but after the kids were born and with his frequent deployment, he wouldn't have been shocked to learn the only emotion he caused was pain.

Andrea being next to him caused him to smile. It had been such a long time since he'd slept next to anyone and even longer since it was by choice and not the necessity of marriage or for the sake of the children.

"Morning." Mike said when he saw Andrea begin to wake up

"Morning," Andrea said her voice full of sleep, rolling over onto her back.

"How does coffee sound?" Mike asked with a smile, sitting up slightly. Andrea nodded with a smile before pushing herself to a sitting position, pushing her hair back out of her face.

"I'm going to grab a shower," Andrea said looking around the room, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the light coming in through the cracks around the curtains.

"It's not even 6 am yet, why don't you lay down? We can talk." Andrea gave him a look.

"I didn't think heartfelt conversations were your thing."

"They're not, but they're yours, and it'd be great for my ego to hear you say how I make you happy." Andrea laughed a little, shaking her head.

"I'm sure I can do that." Andrea nodded, leaning in slightly putting her lips on his.

"You know, I could really get used to this." Andrea's tone was light, as she pulled away from him.

Mike heard the light tone in her voice, but could tell she was being serious, she was opening up to him, she was letting her guard down for him.

"Me too."

* * *

Reviews are loved and appreciated, let me know what you thought! Thank you for reading, Bethany.


	26. Chapter 26

**Time to Heal – Part 26.**

Please forgive me for my very basic knowledge of the U.S Navy, the ending may seem a little 'out there' but I hope not too much. Mistakes are my own, but I promise I did spell check and proofread.

Reviews are loved and appreciated and thank you for the comments on the other chapters.

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

"I've got a few things to do today," Andrea started as she pushed herself off the bed. It had been a few weeks since Mike had first stayed the night since getting back from deployment. Seven weeks to be exact, which made it over a month, but Andrea would tell those who knew that she and Mike were still in the early stages of a relationship.

"I'm pretty sure I have a mass of paperwork to get through as well," Mike commented with a smile as he watched her get ready.

"I mean that I am going to work as late as I can, so I probably won't see you later." Andrea finished what she started to say, laying out her uniform on her side of the bed, looking around for other pieces that she needed.

The truth was, she had a meeting with the CNO, and it was a meeting Mike knew nothing about. It wasn't that she was lying, but she needed to sort a few things without feeling guilty or pressured. Despite the relationship, she was still her own person, and would always be her own person, with her own goals. She needed to make some changes, ones that were right for her, but she knew deep down that she and Mike would get through it. He seemed to understand her better than she understood herself at times, which meant that maybe the changes she wanted to make would be welcomed instead of frowned upon.

"Well, if that's the case, it might give me chance to go and speak to Christine." Mike sat up, reaching over to grab his phone off the nightstand.

"I thought you already spoke about the whole therapy drop off thing?" Andrea asked, referring to what Mike had told her the night before. Amy had asked if Mike could take her to therapy when she was staying with him, Christine was apprehensive at first, but it was easily solved. Mike assured her that they would try it and if Amy changed her mind, then that was okay.

"We did, I meant speak to her about you." Andrea stopped, looking at him with a frown, before shaking her head in confusion. Sitting on the edge of the bed she waited for Mike to go on, wondering what he felt needed to be said.

"I love you, and I want this to go somewhere, so at some point, I hope you will meet the girls and you will be a part of their lives. I just think Christine has a right to know. She's protective over them, maybe more so than I am, and I don't want to ruin the trust we're building through lying to her." Andrea nodded, she understood that much.

"If you feel you need to, then I won't stop you," Andrea said quietly.

"Look, I'm not trying to push you into anything, if you don't feel ready to meet the girls, then that's fine, but we've been in a relationship officially for nearly two months and most of the crew know, hell, the President knows. I just think that if we're going to make something of this and you are potentially going to be a part of Amy and Katie's lives then Christine has a right to know who else is looking after the girls." Andrea smiled slightly, before shaking her head.

"I get why you're doing it, and when I meet the girls, I would have insisted on you telling Christine. I just didn't realise you felt so strongly about it."

"I'm just trying to do what's right," Mike admitted, before getting up himself. He could tell Andrea wasn't too keen on the idea, but he assumed it had more to do with something else, but he knew that if Andrea wanted to talk then she would start the conversation.

Andrea was first to leave her apartment, walking over to Mike as he made his coffee.

"Call me later, once you're spoken to Christine. I'm going to work late, so I'll see you tomorrow. Maybe we could talk about me meeting the girls. If Christine knows, I would hate for her to feel bad if she let it slip." Andrea said with a smile, leaning up to give him a kiss.

"Yeah, I'll call you when I'm done," Mike told her before kissing her, wrapping her arms around her back.

"You work too hard," Mike said. Andrea shook her head slightly, it was a common phrase, but Andrea didn't let it get to her, she knew he said it because he cared, and possibly because he was aware that the more hours she put in, the more she was struggling, and the more he didn't get to see her.

"You've said." Andrea shot back with a smile. Today, admittedly, she was struggling, but she could get through it.

"I love you and I want you to be okay," Mike admitted the last part before leaning down to kiss her a third time, being on time could be damned if he had his way, but Andrea was too proud and too punctual for any of that.

"I love you too, have a good day." Andrea pushed herself back, away from him before turning around, grabbing her set of keys off the countertop and heading for the door.

* * *

Mike had called Christine not long after Andrea had left, and thankfully didn't have much to do with her day, so agreed to talk to her soon to be ex-husband. Mike had gone to her apartment, not wanting to have the conversation in his office. It was the Navy that torn them apart, he didn't feel it was right to tell her about Andrea in his office, he was talking to her as a friend and father of her children, not as Commander Slattery.

"Katie is asleep in her room, so could you keep it down?" Christine asked as he walked in.

"Asleep? Is she okay?" He asked, and Christine smiled. Something would never change, it didn't matter if the girls were 5 or 50, he would always be concerned about them.

"Yes, she had a rough night, a lot of nightmares, it didn't seem right to send her to school today, so I said she could sleep." Mike nodded, not taking his eyes off the bedroom door where Katie was sleeping. Or at least trying to sleep.

"What is it you needed to talk about?" Christine asked while making some coffee.

Mike was unsure on where to start, he knew this conversation needed to happen, or at least he wanted it to. The more he and Andrea spoke, the more she seemed willing to meet his girls, which had been an issue for a while. Well, not an issue, Mike could understand why Andrea still felt uncomfortable, although she had supported him and loved him through the worst of it, she had lost her little girl, so it was going to hurt like hell to know that while she was mourning the loss of Lily, he was trying to rebuild with Amy and Katie.

"It's about Andrea."

"The girls said that's who you were going to meet after you dropped them home on Sunday," Christine said, handing him a mug of coffee.

"Yeah," Before Mike went on he motioned to the coffee table, hoping Christine would sit down. He wasn't expecting her to take the news lightly, he just wanted to make this as easy as possible.

"Well, we grew close. We supported each other, and I guess that grew into something more. We're still trying to figure it out, but…" Mike was interrupted.

"So, you're dating her now?" He couldn't quite pick up on the emotions in Christine's voice, but he expected the worse from her.

"We're still figuring it out, but yes." Mike nodded, leaving out the part about how close they became on the ship, after the jungle, after Asia, Christine didn't need to know, Mike was sure it would break her.

"I thought you had a right to know. I want her to meet the girls, I want the girls to meet her, Andrea and I are really trying to make this work, and if it does, then I felt like you had a right to know who was with the girls." Mike was being honest. He hoped that if Christine ever found someone she would tell him. Despite their separation, they still shared two daughters, they were still very protective over them and wanted to know who was around them and why.

Christine was silent for a moment as she sipped her drink, avoiding eye contact.

"Thank you for telling me." She said quietly.

"I know it's not easy, but I wanted you to know." Christine smiled.

"I'm grateful, I am, really. It's just a lot to take in…"

"I'm not saying I am moving on and everything is okay." Mike interrupted her.

Christine shook her head with a small smile.

"I know you're not. I didn't mean it like that, Mike. I can't sit here and say I am happy for you because a part of me wants you to suffer like I do, but I am grateful that you told me." Mike took a sip of his coffee before replying to her.

"I am still suffering, Chris. It still hurts like hell to know I wasn't here when you needed me, but I was never good at the deep and meaningful, I don't grieve like you do. But, if there is one thing we both have in common, it's our love for our girls, and I want you to know who's going to be in their lives. Andrea is still healing herself, and it could be weeks before they all meet each other, but I didn't want you to hear it from anyone else." Mike was being open, he could see it in her eyes that she was struggling, and he wondered if she had that look in her eyes every day, but he wanted her to know that he was still suffering, it still hurt like hell, and he doubted it would ever go away, but this was about the girls.

"Thank you, for telling me. Hopefully, the girls will like her as much as you do." Christine said with a smile, but Mike could tell she was fighting back the tears.

There was a moment of silence before Mike stood up, walking over to the sink to wash out his coffee mug. Once he'd done that he moved back to the table, but didn't sit down.

"I'll leave you be, but if you want to talk, then just call," Mike said, not expecting her to answer him.

"We'll be okay. I know with the separation and everything else it's hard, but I told the girls, that we could still be friends, for their sake if nothing else." Christine told him, just before he could leave.

"We will. Take care, tell the girls I'll see them next week." Mike left the apartment, tears in his eyes. It had gone better than expected, and quicker than he thought it would, but he didn't think Christine would want him to stick around, she needed time to process it, and he had work to be getting on with.

Separated or not it still hurt him to see Christine upset, but he was pleased they were trying to make it work for the girls. Being in a relationship, staying in the marriage would have been tough, but at least if they were friends, they could move on in their own ways, but always have a focus on the girls, without the arguments and the pain.

* * *

"Commander Garnett, come in, take a seat." The CNO said later on that day when Andrea showed up for her appointment.

"Thank you, sir." She sat down, smoothing her skirt over the tops of her legs. She had gone home to get changed into her dress uniform, although it would have been easier to simply stay in her engineering uniform, it was too dirty to be classed as presentable.

"I hear the USS Ohio docked today. I trust you've done a full assessment." Tom asked, putting a final signature on something before dropping the pen and giving Andrea his full attention.

"Yes, sir. It seems in very good shape; however, the diving planes need replacing, and most of the electrical work will need updating, but the biggest issue so far is the damage to the hull. It may take a few months to repair it all, but tomorrow the USS Louisiana will be docking, so next week myself and the other engineers will come up with a plan of action for the upcoming months, splitting time and resources between the 'James' and the two submarines." Andrea updated the CNO, but also reminding herself that she and the two other Chief Engineers she was working with needed to work on a plan.

"How are Chief Engineer Phillips and Chief Engineer Moore getting on?" Tom asked, leaning back in his chair.

"Very well, Sir. Phillips has a lot of experience with the electrical systems on board, and Moore has experiences with submarines which means we can all share knowledge, ideas and resources." Andrea answered him. Both men seemed capable, although they didn't spend a lot of time talking, the three of them got on well, and got the job done.

"So, what is it that you needed to talk to me about?" Tom asked finally. Andrea had requested a meeting weeks ago, but with Tom taking time off and her being busy in dry dock, they'd only just gotten around to it. She had been happy with the time she'd been given to think about her request, the decision she wanted, and possibly needed to make.

"I wish to be reassigned, sir," Andrea said, a part of his hoping that Tom would keep this professional. She didn't need his opinion as a friend, or as he former CO, she just needed him to tell her if he could reassign her or not.

"To where, Commander?"

"Here, Sir. I wish to be reassigned to the base, I have spoken to Phillips and Moore about the possibility of me staying on base and working in the engineering department, and both seem happy enough with the thought of shipping out with the crews of the James, Ohio and Louisiana when needed." Tom looked at her, and she could see the slightest hint of confusion in his eye.

"Is this a personal request?"

"Not exactly, Sir. I have enjoyed my time at sea, working on ships, but I feel that now I would be more useful in dry dock and teaching next generation of engineers than I would be at sea. It's nothing to do with my relationship status or any other crew member, but more to do with a fresh start. I did all I could for crew and for the ship, but I don't think I could redeploy again." Andrea swallowed hard, a feeling of sadness in the pit of her stomach.

"Have you spoken to Mike about this?" Andrea shook her head, biting the inside of her lip to stop herself from speaking. This wasn't about her and Mike, or her relationship, it was about all she had been through and how she felt it best to continue to serve her country.

"Do you want to?"

"Sir, I have a lot to do today. I came here to make a request because I cannot bring myself to redeploy again, on whatever mission comes next. A year ago, I shipped out and it ruined my life, and it ruined the lives of my fellow crew mates, I cannot bring myself to do it again. I finished the mission, and if it's possible, sir, I still want to be a part of the U.S Navy…" Tom stopped her, putting his hands up.

"I can reassign you, Andrea. I didn't mean to push you."

"It's okay, sir," Andrea said with a tight smile.

"Cut the 'sir' for a moment." Tom stood up, walking around his desk to sit in the chair next to her.

"I will reassign you, but I think you should talk to Mike, he has a right to know, and I know him well enough to tell you that if he finds out before you tell him, he's going to think it's because of him, and because of your relationship." Andrea nodded.

"I will tell him when my transfer goes through. But, please be assured, Tom, this is nothing to do with me and Mike." Tom nodded, standing up once again to move back to his desk.

Andrea stood up to leave, saluting him before she moved towards the door, straightening down her skirt once again, but before she could leave, Tom spoke up.

"The President tasked me with building the Navy back up. New positions are being made, new rules, international agreements, the political side of the Military. Anyway, if you are staying on base I want you at a higher position than anyone else within the engineering department…"

"That's not necessary, sir." Tom chuckled, before nodding.

"You put your life on the line in a human trial and made it possible for us to get home. Andrea, you are a large part of why we are still here. You deserve a title that demands respect. Leave it with me and I will speak to the President in tomorrow's briefing." Andrea could only nod, sudden flashbacks of the trial flooding her mind.

"Thank you, sir." Walking out of the room, she had to stop and take a deep breath before leaving the CNO's outer office. She wasn't sure if respect is what she deserved, but at least Tom thought so. All that mattered to her was her request, knowing herself well enough to understand that she couldn't go back to sea, not after all that had happened, she needed to help reshape the world, but she needed to do it from the base. From home.

* * *

Thank you for reading, reviews are very much loved and appreciated, and keep me going. Bethany.


	27. Chapter 27

**Time to Heal – Part 27.**

This chapter is a lot shorter than previous chapters, but hopefully just as enjoyable.

Reviews are loved and appreciated, thank you for all the reviews on other chapters. All mistakes are my own, but I did proof read, I promise!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

It had taken five weeks for Andrea's request to go through and for her transfer to be approved. Although she had told Tom she would tell Mike, she never did, but she knew at some point the truth would out. It wasn't that she was lying because she wasn't, but the topic of redeployment had never come up, and it never seemed like the right time, which seemed so cliché, but every time she went to tell him or mention it something came up.

"Hey…" She felt someone touch her shoulder. Turning around, Mike was stood behind her looking slightly worried.

"Sorry, I was in a world of my own." Mike nodded before letting his hand drop.

"I noticed. Is everything okay? If this is about the girls then I am sure we can sort something out. Christine said they're looking forward to meeting you." Andrea smiled. It had been a few weeks since Andrea had finally felt ready to meet the girls. Next week they would be staying at Mike's and Andrea planned to meet them, spend the evening, and have dinner, nothing too serious, making sure everything was done within the girl's comfort zone.

"It's not, honestly. I am looking forward to dinner. I've just got a lot on with work." She smiled, again, not a lie, but she was sure that Mike would catch on sooner or later.

Andrea quickly moved the conversation to the girls. Mike had mentioned it to the girls last week that he wanted them to meet Andrea, of course, they didn't realise how serious the relationship was, but for now, Andrea was happy to keep the relationship more of a 'friendship' around Amy and Katie until they felt comfortable around her.

"Well, just let me know what time you want me there and I will be there," Andrea told him, while she shoved a few things into her duffel bag. Today she had a meeting with Tom to confirm her transfer, and instead of driving home, she thought it would be easier to change in her office, and it meant she could avoid seeing Mike until tonight, so she could figure out how to tell him. Not that he would be upset, she hoped, possibly more upset about him not being in the loop, but he respected her, and hopefully, would respect the decision she was making.

* * *

It was late afternoon when Andrea was finishing up in dry dock, a storm was rolling in and she didn't feel like working in the rain, so instead, she planned on finishing her paperwork or at least making a start on it.

"Everything is secure out here, I and a few of the lads wanted to get started on the electrical systems if that's okay?" Phillips asked.

"Go for it. Log the hours as overtime." She said, with a small nod, watching the man walk off to a group of engineers awaiting orders.

She was just about to turn around to head up to her office when she caught sight of Mike stood on the raised walkway, looking down at her. She smiled, before taking the stairs to meet him.

"Captain Slattery, what do I owe the pleasure?" She asked with a smile, although she was insistent that they remained professional, there was no one around.

The closer she got to Mike the more she noted his expression, the hard look on his face, anger and upset. Immediately, her thoughts went to Christine and the girls and what could have happened. Reaching out when she got close enough she went to put a hand on his arm but he moved away.

"Mike…"

"Were you going to tell me about the transfer?" Andrea felt her heart drop. She had planned to tell him, but she doubted he would believe her if she said it.

"Yes." She answered simply.

Mike only shook his head.

"When? When did you even make the decision or the request, how long have you known about this, Andrea?" Mike had so many questions, he was confused and hurt. He thought this would be the kind of thing she would open up to him about. She seemed conflicted when they were deployed, wondering if she would redeploy again, or if she would hang up her uniform, but nothing more was ever said, he assumed, up until now, that she was just venting.

"I made the request around five weeks ago. The CNO said things needed to be arranged," Andrea stopped trying to explain herself, and just confirmed it. "But I had a meeting with him five weeks ago. It was confirmed today."

Mike shook his head a little, looking at her in disbelief, he was more concerned with why. Why didn't she tell him?

"Look, I was going to tell you, but it never came up in conversation, I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I am not moving away, I just won't be redeploying."

"Of course, it's a big deal, Andrea." She shook her head. It was a big decision, but it was her own, and it was for personal reasons, but she didn't want to make it into a big deal, she would stay on base when Mike left, she had told herself it would be that simple, or maybe just that hard, but either way she didn't want to have this conversation here.

"Please, let's go to my office." Mike nodded as he let her lead the way.

Once in her office, Andrea closed the door, waiting a few moments before she turned to look at him.

"It was something I needed to do, Mike. I finished the mission I was set, and now I need to move on. I didn't keep you in the dark on purpose, but it was never the right time, and I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I will still be here, and even when you deploy, I will still be here, and if it's deployment you are worried about, we wouldn't be on the same ship anyway, not now." Andrea tried to explain herself, but the look on Mike's face told her that he was hurt more than anything else.

Mike was speechless, he didn't know how to respond. Or even if he should, he wasn't in the best frame of mind and he could do without the arguments.

"As much as I am healing and moving on, I lost everything while in the middle of the ocean, and I can't do that again. When I got back, I so badly wanted to leave, I wanted to start a new life away from all of this, but at the same time, I knew I needed this, I needed the Navy to give me some stability. I didn't make this decision lightly, Mike, but I did make it on my own, and for that, I won't apologise." Andrea closed the gap between them, giving him a smile as she reached for his hands.

"I wish you would have told me. I would have helped you." It was all Mike had, under all of the emotions, he was more worried, all he wanted to do since getting kidnapped in Asia was help her, support her, protect her, he knew she was still her own person, but he still couldn't help the feeling of sadness, if anything he just wanted her to know that she could open up to him about decisions as big as this.

"I know, and I should have told you sooner, but this was something I needed to do alone." Mike nodded in understanding, he couldn't be angry at her for that, yes, he wanted to know, but it was her career.

"But it's because of what happened, it's not because of us?" Andrea wanted to laugh, Tom was right.

Shaking her head, she reached up to put her hand on his cheek, at least he didn't try to push her away. That was something she was worried about, that she'd hurt him and his instant reaction was to get angry and walk away.

"It's not because of us, and if it was then I would have spoken to you about it." She assured him, before leaning up to kiss him. She didn't know what else to say, or if she should say anything at all, she didn't want to prolong the feelings of anger and betrayal.

"I'll worry about you, you know." Andrea blushed a little.

Mike moved to sit on the couch in her office, pulling her down to sit next to him. He wouldn't say this was a fight, but it was a disagreement, a test of trust, almost, something neither of them had experience with the other. He had expected an argument, both of them could be too stubborn for their own good at times, but if they were going to argue he wanted it to be about the petty things and not something as big as Andrea deciding to get reassigned.

"Well, I think we both know I can hold my own, so I wouldn't worry too much. Besides, if you ship out I doubt the CNO will be joining you, so I will have people here, I won't be on my own. If anyone should be worried, it should be me." Andrea didn't want to bring up what had happened over the last year, or maybe two, the 'end of the world' as many called it, seemed to all blur into one, she didn't think anyone really had any concept of time during that period of hell, but still her mind couldn't help but think about that hell repeating itself.

"If anything happened, I would be the first one off that ship, coming home, for you and the girls," Mike told her, before placing a kiss on the top of her head. Maybe that's what it was? Worry. Fear. What would happen when he shipped out again. They'd spent the best part of two years with each other, being there for each other, Mike was worried that she would need him, and also that he would need her.

"I'm sorry if I upset you," Andrea whispered into his chest, hoping he would hear her.

"Don't be. I just want us both to be okay, Andrea." Andrea smiled as she lifted her head, that was what she wanted to.

Mike smiled at her.

"I'm sorry if I caused a scene, I should have waited until you got home." Andrea shook her head.

"Tom told me to tell you. He said that if I didn't and you found out through someone else you would assume it was because of us. I promise you, I wanted to tell you, but it just never seemed like the right time, whenever we spoke we were happy and I didn't want to ruin that." Andrea said, hoping he would find it slightly amusing.

"It was Tom who told me. He asked me how I was dealing with your transfer. I said we were doing well…" Andrea smiled, sitting up properly.

"The only good things that came out of my deployment, was finding a cure, figuring out I can survive four days without water and you. Everything else is a blur and it's the things I don't want to remember. Every time I look at that ship I relive parts of it…" Andrea could feel her throat tightening.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. All I want if you to be happy, I was just upset that I wasn't told, and that's only because we grew so close that we told each other everything." It was the truth, they had grown so close, they spoke about everything and anything. It was definitely going to take some time for them to realise that, now home, somethings would remain unsaid.

"I'll still be here. I'm not leaving forever and who knows, maybe this will work out better for us? Maybe in years to come when you ship out I can be here for the girls, give Christine a break, I'm not sure how much of a good house wife I will be, but I'll try." Mike couldn't help but laugh.

"We'll figure it out, we've done okay so far," Andrea added after a moment.

"Like I said, Andrea, all I want is for the both of us to be okay."

"We are, or at least we will be, in time."

* * *

Reviews are loved and welcome, thank you for reading. Bethany.


	28. Chapter 28

**Time to Heal – Part 28.**

I hope you enjoy this cute chapter, finally Andrea meets Mike's daughters.

Reviews are loved and appreciated, thank you for all the other reviews, I hope you like this chapter.

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

"So, Andrea is coming for dinner, right?" Katie asked Mike as he stood in the kitchen making a cup of coffee.

"Yeah, she's going to come after she finishes work and then we were going to order take-out if that's okay with you?" Mike asked. It was Saturday, meaning today Andrea would meet his girls, and while he didn't want to make a big deal out of it, he had a strange sense of pride, he knew how difficult it would be for Andrea to be in the same room as them, but also for the girls to meet Andrea.

"Who works on a Saturday?" Amy asked from the couch as she scrolled down the TV channels, although barely any of them worked.

"Andrea does. We rely on her to fix things, and right now the 'James' and two Submarines need a bit of work, so she works Saturdays." Mike explained, keeping the conversation light, it was just past noon and the girls had eaten lunch, Amy had been content with staying in her pyjamas all day, which Mike had no problem with, but Katie had gotten dressed and had left the apartment. It was only to walk to the library and back, which Mike had said she could do, providing she took her phone and text him the moment she got the library and when she was on her way home.

"Do you think she can fix my fairy lights?" Katie asked, sitting next to her father on the couch. The girls had spent most of the day asking about Andrea, as well as when they could see Uncle Tom again. Since coming home, the girls and Ashley spent a lot of time together, either in school or on the weekends.

"Sweetie, you just need new batteries to fix your lights," Mike told her, before taking a sip of his coffee.

"I know, but mum keeps forgetting."

"Katie, she's the chief engineer on the most famous ship in the world, she has more important things to do than fixing your fairy lights," Amy said and Katie rolled her eyes.

"Can I hug her?" Katie asked after a moment of silence. Still, Amy couldn't find anything to watch on the TV, and Mike was happy just watching the rain out the window.

He was a little shocked by the question, more so by the fact that he might have to say no. It seemed like such a normal thing to do, they were kids, but he wasn't sure how Andrea would feel about it. So far, she was dealing with it well, whenever she spoke to Mike, she seemed excited about dinner and talking to his girls, having a nice time and not having to worry about anything else, but he didn't know how to answer Katie, he didn't want to make any one feel uncomfortable.

"Why don't you ask her when she comes?"

"It's just mum told me about her daughter," Katie said quietly, Mike sighed a little, pulling his daughter close. He'd learnt over the last month that his girls had big hearts. They attended the funeral of the President and both cried, every death they heard about upset them, and they were willing to comfort the new kids at school when they found them crying in the bathroom, it warmed his heart, and he wondered if it was a part of their coping mechanisms. His only worry was them forgetting about themselves, the girls could cry too, they could get upset if they wanted to, they didn't need to wait until therapy to say something, they didn't need to lock themselves in the bathroom and cry in the shower, they could cry when they felt like it. Mike wanted them both to know they could help everyone else and still have bad days.

"Yes, it's sad, but she's getting through it, and Andrea and I are close so we talk a lot, but Andrea's excited to meet you. She wants to know how school is and I told her about all your after-school clubs, so you can tell her about that, maybe she'll understand more about art than I do?" Mike said with a laugh, wanting to move away from all the sad things that could be said.

"Maybe she could fix the TV so we have something to watch?" Amy said looking at her dad, Mike only chuckled, that was Amy's only complaint, she was a movie buff and had been from the age of three, so for her to be stuck without anything to watch made her irritable and looking for something to do, but on a Military Base with the world still trying to find its feet, upgrading the local play park was the bottom of the to do list.

"Don't you have some homework to be getting on with?" Mike asked, only for Amy to shake her head.

"Mum makes us do it the day we get it. Kate, how many books did you pick up?" Amy said, turning her attention to her sister.

"Five," Katie replied, looking at her bag briefly.

"Let me see?"

Mike hoped some reading would give them both something to do until Andrea finished work. He was happy to sit in silence, and relax, he had been with cadets all week and was happy for the quiet he got, his girls on the other hand, still needed some stimulation.

* * *

It was nearing 7:00pm when Andrea finally knocked on the door, annoyed at herself for being late. But today was the day in which everything that could have gone wrong, did. So much so that she was still in her uniform.

"Hey..." Mike said with a smile when he let her in.

"Hey, sorry I'm so late. Everything just seemed to overrun, I brought some clothes to change into, I hope you don't mind." Andrea said, peering over Mike's shoulder to see both girls stood in the living area.

"Don't worry about it." Mike kissed her cheek, before moving so she could walk into the apartment fully and not stand in the doorway.

"Oh gosh, you look so dressed up, and I'm still in uniform, I promise I will change." Andrea greeted the girls, both having changed into pretty floral skirts and plain tops.

Mike watched them carefully for a few seconds before introducing Andrea, remembering she'd not actually seen them before.

"This is Amy, the eldest, and this is Katie. Girls, this is Andrea." Mike said pointing to the girls.

Andrea could only smile and nod as she looked between Mike and the girls, wondering what she should say, but before she could speak, the girls spoke up.

"We can get food now, right?" Katie asked, looking at her dad. Mike nodded, moving into the kitchen to find the menu he needed.

"I thought you were an Engineer?" Amy asked, after a moment, Andrea was too busy watching Katie and Mike in the kitchen talking about food to notice how Amy was stood in front of her scanning her uniform.

"I am," Andrea said, although she was a little confused, she thought her stained uniform would give that much away.

"So, why does it say, 'Commander Garnett' on your uniform?" Amy asked pointing to her name tag, Andrea opened her mouth to reply, but Mike beat her to it.

"Why don't you come here and tell me what food you want, while Andrea changes and then she can answer your question?" Amy only nodded, giving Andrea a small smile before moving off to stand with her dad and sister.

Andrea waited for only a second before moving into the bathroom to change, wondering why she felt so awkward, she didn't know what to expect, she'd never met Mike's kids before, but she just hoped she got along with them and they liked her. She considered herself good with children, she was good with Lily, she had a younger sister growing up and her elder brother had kids of his own, so it wasn't like this was new for her. But, still something felt off, she felt so out of place, Mike and the girls had fallen into a routine and right now she felt as though she was stepping out of line.

Looking at herself in the mirror once she'd changed she took a deep breath, running her hands down the black skinny jeans she was wearing paired with a black and white striped t-shirt, although it wasn't runway ready, she felt nice enough and at this point, anything was better than her uniform. Pulling her hair from the pins she'd secured it with she let the flow down her back, not having the brains to pack a hairbrush when she was preparing her bag this morning. Giving herself one last look in the mirror she asked herself how hard would it be? They were kids. They were Mike's kids. She was sure she'd be fine.

Leaving the bathroom, she put her bag on the floor near the front door before walking into the kitchen area to see Mike and the girls, still talking about dinner.

"We ordered Chinese," Katie informed her, before moving past her to sit on the couch. Mike gave her a warm smile before Amy got her attention.

"So, you're a Commander, because?" Amy asked following her sister to sit on the couch. Andrea followed her, sitting down before answering her question.

"Because I was promoted. So, I was Chief Engineer, which meant I was a Lieutenant Commander, and then once your Uncle Tom left and became the CNO, your dad became the Captain, and I became the XO, meaning I was then Commander Garnett." Amy nodded along with a smile.

"That's pretty cool. And because you're a lady, and you fix things, but not small things like lights and computers, you fix engines and ships and, don't you break your nails?" Andrea laughed at the sudden realisation.

"Yes, and it sucks. I grow them as long as regulations allow and then as soon as I set foot on a ship they snap, and unfortunately, we can't paint our nails in the Military."

"You could always paint your toes and just hope no one notices?" Katie suggested, turning her attention from the TV to Andrea.

"I could! It's not very often I take off my boots, so I might do that. What about you, have you raided the beauty stores in the city yet?" Andrea was aware of a few stores opening, but it wasn't really something she kept up with.

"Yeah, mum took us when they opened, it was nice. Then we went again with some friends from school." Mike had come to join them in the living area, after watching the beginning of the conversation from the kitchen, smiling at how well it seemed to be going, he only hoped it would last.

"School should throw a school dance, that way you can all dress up. Get a date, have his tie match your dress, it would be cute."

"There will be no dates," Mike said, almost in a dark tone, but Andrea could tell he was joking. The girls seemed to find it funny, and Andrea thought it would be fun for them to tease him a little.

"Come on, it's all just a little fun, every girl needs to be able to wear a pretty dress and have a guy give her flowers! Maybe we should get Tom to speak to the President, let the kids attend the Military Ball, you girls and Ashley can go on a big shopping spree, we'll get Sammy a suit!" Andrea said, putting her hand on Mike's arm. He could tell she was enjoying it, but he wasn't, it was pure humour, but still, he wanted to make a point of being the overprotective dad.

"I am sure it would be wonderful, but there will be no date, not now and not until you are at least 21, and even then, I want to do a full background check."

"Dad, no!" Amy said, looking almost mortified.

"What about the ball dad, can we really ask Uncle Tom?" Katie said with a light in her eyes that Mike hadn't seen for a long time.

Mike couldn't say no, but he wasn't sure if Tom would even entertain the idea, and that was before he spoke to the President, but he shrugged and told them they could ask in the morning when they saw Tom and his kids at swim practice.

"Swim practice is on a Sunday now?" Andrea asked, moving the topic along before Mike had a heart attack. There was a moment between them when he put his hand on her thigh. Andrea was sat in the middle of the couch, with Mike sat at the end, she had her legs pulled her to chest, half balancing and half leaning against Mike, somewhere in the middle of the conversation Mike had rested his hand on her leg, and Andrea had to admit it felt normal, and so far, neither of the girls seemed to notice, or if they did, they didn't seem to mind.

"Well, Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings, then both me and Amy do Art club on a Tuesday evening," Katie said, almost with pride. Andrea had heard about the ocean swim they'd done, and Mike seemed to beam with pride when he spoke to her about it.

"What other clubs do you do, Amy?" Amy took a breath, and Mike knew what was coming, looking at Andrea for a moment.

"How long do you have, XO?" Mike chuckled, Andrea had an idea of what was coming, and she was sure by the end of the night she would know all their classes, clubs, friends and enemies, but she didn't mind, for once it was nice to have a conversation that didn't revolve around relationships and electrical systems.

"Well!" Amy started.

* * *

The conversation took them right the way through dinner, and even after that, right up until it was 9:30pm and Mike had told the girls they needed to head to bed. Neither of them wanted to, but Andrea was quick to remind Katie of her 6am start if she needed to be in the pool for 7:30, which even Andrea thought was a little over the top for a Sunday, but she felt Mike would need her on her side to convince the girls they needed some sleep.

"Are you staying over, Andrea? You can sleep on the couch, I'll give you my blanket." Andrea smiled.

"That's really kind, Amy, but I'm going to see you girls off to bed, help your dad clean up and then head home." Amy nodded, before stepping forward, Katie coming to stand next to her.

"Can, can we give you a hug?" Katie asked seeming a little unsure.

Andrea nodded, "Of course, you don't have to ask." Both girls, moved at the same time, embracing Andrea, as she kissed them both on the head.

"It's been so lovely meeting the two of you, I hope we can have dinner again some time." Both girls nodded, looking over at Mike who was making a start on the dishes.

"Andrea can come again, right dad?"

"Of course,"

After another few minutes of saying goodnight and going through the girls' routine, Mike and Andrea were stood alone in the kitchen.

"So, grown up for 13 and 14 years old," Andrea commented, grabbing the dish towel from the side, happy to help Mike with the dishes but he stopped her.

"Don't worry about that, I'll do it later. Right now, I would just like to spend some time with you. I didn't think it would be this hard to sit next to you, without being able to hold your hand." Andrea laughed a little.

"I didn't think you were the sentimental type."

"People change," Mike said, pulling Andrea in closer, she wanted to say something, remind him that the girls would still be awake and she didn't want them to find out they were dating when they'd only just met her.

"They're good kids, I've really enjoyed tonight, I hope we can do it again," Andrea said, their faces only inches apart.

"They are, and you are welcome anytime, they seem to really like you," Mike told her, he could have made a joke, but right now didn't seem like the right time. It had been a while since he'd seen his girls feel comfortable with anyone other than Tom and Sasha, so to know they were happy to be around Andrea or seemed to be, made him feel a little better about the future, and what it meant for all four of them.

"Are you going to kiss me goodnight, Captain?" Andrea asked, pulling him out of his trance.

"Do you really have to ask?" He said, giving her no time to answer before pressing his lips to hers.

Pulling back after a moment, he placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Thank you, for tonight," Andrea said, taking a step back from him. She knew if she was that close to him for much longer she wouldn't be able to leave.

"Anytime," Mike said, watching her as she picked up her bag, heading for the door. He wanted to say, 'I love you' but he couldn't, his girls were still awake, he could hear them moving around in bed.

"Let me know when you get home."

"Will do. Good night, Mike."

"Goodnight…" He watched her leave with a smile on his face, of course, he wanted her to stay, but it wouldn't have been right, either way, tonight they'd reached a milestone, the girls were happy and Andrea was happy, which, for tonight made him feel as though things could get better. Things were getting better.

* * *

Andrea got back to her apartment and made sure to text Mike, to let him know she was home. After a few moments of just standing in her bedroom, she began to get ready for bed, finally lying down ten minutes later. Staring up at the ceiling, she smiled to herself, tonight had gone better than expected, and she could only hope that it would keep getting better, she knew she shouldn't, and she knew it wouldn't help her recovery too much, but all she could think about was the future, family dinners, goodnight kisses, early morning swim practices, paint stains on the floor, art projects, Navy issued boots, all of it. She knew she shouldn't, but that was what she wanted, that was what she would dream about.

* * *

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I tried to make it as happy as possible. Reviews are loved and appreciated, Bethany.


	29. Chapter 29

**Time to Heal – Part 29.**

I was gonna make this the last chapter, but then I got inspiration, and I wrote some more! Sorry for any mistakes!

I hope this chapter is a lovely read. Reviews are loved and appreciated, thank you for all the other reviews!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

Two years officially. Andrea couldn't believe it had been that long. Two years since Dr Rachel Scott had told the then, Captain Tom Chandler about the virus that would end up taking half of the population. In the space of two years, live had been lost, lives had been saved, hearts had been shattered and far too many tears had been shed, and for the most part, people, the crew of the Nathan James kept going, they dealt with the pain and fought for the country, but today would be different, today every single event from the past two years would be brought back to the surface.

Today the crew of the Nathan James would each be awarded a 'Medal of Honour'. It was an emotional time for them all, after two years for them to be awarded something that most didn't feel they deserved, that Andrea didn't feel she deserved. Still, she was stood in her bedroom, staring at herself in her full dress white uniform. She was half expecting them to all be in Dress Blues, but the President had said otherwise, reading out something about white symbolling hope. Andrea had attended the briefing, but her focus had been elsewhere.

She wanted to look at herself in the mirror some more, check her uniform, give herself a pep-talk, but she could already hear Amy and Katie's laughter from down the hall. Mike had insisted on picking her up, and meeting Tom at the White House, he'd also mentioned bringing the girls, Andrea knew it was his week, but still she didn't think it was the right place for children to be at an award ceremony, more so this one, but they were not her kids.

Looking at herself one last time, she turned to her bed and grabbed the things she needed before going to answer the door. Letting all three of them in she gave Amy and Katie a hug before they went to sit on the couch, Andrea gave them a smile before letting Mike in and closing the door behind him, to then be pulled into a hug.

"Hey."

"Hey. You scrub up well, Captain," Andrea said with a small laugh, reaching up to straighten the medals he was already wearing.

Mike didn't need to look at her to know how nervous she was. He knew it would bring up memories, for all of the crew, but he didn't care for the rest of his crew like he cared for Andrea. Of course, he wanted to support all of them, and he and Tom had worked hard to make sure they were prepared for today, but Mike had been worried about Andrea, she seemed to hide back in her shell, she worked long hours, the girls had been upset when she stopped staying the night.

Mike assumed that was the only positive over the last few weeks, that the girls had figured out that their father and Andrea were something more than friends. Neither of them seemed too shocked, but like most girls their age, they seemed set on questioning Andrea about moving in, wedding, and Mike was sure he overheard a conversation about siblings, all of which made him laugh.

"You look lovely, Andrea." He told her, still not moving any further into the apartment.

"I'm fine. Honestly, I just want to get this day done and over with so I can sleep." Mike nodded in understanding, he wanted to push her, but he knew when to stop, he knew when to leave her be, knowing she would get through today on her own.

"Are you gonna sleep at our house, Andrea?" Katie asked from her place on the couch. Both girls were wearing nice dresses, seemingly new dresses, but neither of them cared as they laid on the couch.

"I'm not sure yet, love. Anyway, we need to get going…" Andrea said, looking at the clock on the wall. They had a few more minutes, but she'd promised a few of the crew she'd see them beforehand.

* * *

The ceremony was nice. Or at least that was what Andrea was saying to those who asked. The ceremony, in her own words, was heartbreaking and infuriating, only parts of the ceremony making her feel as though she did some good. Still, she stood to attention when needed, and saluted when she received her medal before walking off stage, standing in between Mike and Tom. Which seemed off considering the orders of ranks, but she didn't have time to question it without looking rude or as if she was speaking while the President was.

"We thank you all for your sacrifice and courage. We must now look to the future and those who are still with us. Because of the Nathan James, many can go on to live a happy life." Andrea felt her eyes water and her hands shake slightly when the President spoke. She was sure the woman meant nothing by it but the words hurt.

How could she just look to the future? How could she just move on? So many lives had been lost and she didn't even think to mention them. How could she just focus on those who were still here? How could people live a happy life after all that had happened?

Andrea felt a hand on her back but didn't turn to see who it was. She didn't care, she was angry and upset, she felt so many emotions all at once. Today was a reminder of all she'd been through, all she had lost, what the world had gone to, how they were trying to rebuild, the pain, the heartache, the loss.

Looking up when she heard a round of applause, she turned to Tom who seemed to be watching her carefully.

"I, I…" She stuttered, before shaking her head. She couldn't leave, people would notice, people would see her.

"Do you need to sit down?" Tom asked, the applause masking the sound of their conversation.

"How can we just move on, Sir?" Andrea asked, not answering his question, somewhat forgetting about it all together. She didn't need to sit down or have a drink or get some sleep, she needed to understand how everyone could just move on. She lost her baby girl, she lost everything, she couldn't look to the future, Lily was her future.

"Come on, love, let's go sit down," Mike said, looking at Tom who just nodded, stepping closer to Burk as Mike and Andrea made their way inside.

It made him feel bad, but Mike had expected this, he had expected something from her, he had mentioned it to Tom, but as a friend and not the CNO. Mike didn't know if it would come in the form of anger or a panic attack, or Andrea simply shutting down, and right now, as he got her a glass of water, he still didn't know.

"Just take a few deep breaths, I'm right here, and you're okay." He tried to say something that would help, but he didn't know if he was sounded patronizing or not.

"What she said about looking to the future, how can she say it so easily, people died out there, we lost people, I lost people and for her to give me a medal as if I did a good thing," Andrea said, in what seemed to be disbelief.

"You did do a good thing, Andrea." Mike tried to reassure her as he crouched down in front of her, resting his hands on her knees while she took sips of her drink.

Andrea shook her head, tears forming in her eyes, she didn't do a good thing, she did her job, and still, people died. She was supposed to protect the crew, she and the crew were supposed to protect the homeland, but they couldn't. The President just kept telling them how much of a good job they did, but she couldn't think like that, people died, they should have tried harder, she should have tried harder, fought harder, worked harder to save lives.

"Hey, look at me, you did a good thing, we found and distributed a cure that saved thousands." Mike felt for her, he wanted to wrap her up in a blanket and let her sleep for hours, hoping he could make it all better by the time she woke up, but he knew he couldn't do that, all he could do right now was sit with her.

"No…"

"Yes, Andrea…" Mike wanted to go on, but she interrupted him by raising her voice, something that shocked him at first, of course, he'd heard her shout before, but back then she was shouting commands it was part of the job, now she was trying to prove a point.

"How can you say I did a good job when I couldn't even save my daughter? That was my only job, I was a mother I was supposed to protect her!" Andrea broke down, thankfully Mike caught he glass of water before it splattered all over her uniform, but even as he turned his attention back to her, all he could do was watch as she sobbed.

It had never crossed his mind.

That was why it hurt her so much to talk about all the 'good' she'd done. Andrea was a mother, a mother's job was to protect her children, and now Lily was gone.

"I was supposed to protect her, and I couldn't, and now she's gone, and I have to live this life with people thinking I did a good job, but if that was true she would still be here." Andrea's voice was quiet and strained, full of hurt and anger, but all Mike could do was move to the chair next to her and pull her into a hug, not caring about uniforms or regulation, or how many people could see him, right now Andrea needed him, and that to Mike was more important than following the rules.

* * *

Mike wasn't sure how much time had passed, or how long they had been sat in the small room, but when he looked up again he saw Tom stood in the doorway.

"I brought the girls, but if you need some time I can take them back with me." Mike sighed, it wasn't that he'd forgotten about the girls, he just didn't want Katie or Amy to see Andrea like that.

"I'm going to clean myself up," Andrea said, without looking up, but aware of the others in the room, when Mike nodded in understanding she stood up and made her way to the bathrooms down the corridor.

* * *

Andrea made her way down the hall, having been in the building so many times before, she knew just where she was going and where she needed to be without really looking. She took some deep breaths but didn't move her hands to wipe her tears away.

Pushing open the door to the bathroom, she locked herself in a cubicle, leaning against the locked door and taking some more deep breaths, finally reaching up to wipe her eyes. She stood for a moment, letting herself get lost in thought. She hadn't planned to break down, she didn't want to make a scene but the words she'd heard made her feel so useless, helpless, angry and like a failure.

She felt as though she failed as a mother.

"Pull yourself together, Andrea." She said aloud, then hoping she was alone in the bathroom. Once she was sure she was alone she unlocked the cubicle door, taking the few steps over to the sinks so she could splash some water over her face.

"You're okay. You're okay." She repeated the mantra until a small part of her was beginning to believe it.

Andrea knew it would pass, which was something she was grateful for, had this had happened a year ago she didn't think she would have been able to calm herself down. Now, she knew she was able to, she could think straight, if only just for a few moments until she could get somewhere safe, be with someone who knew how to help her. She was comforted knowing that Mike was just down the hall and that half the crew would still be outside on the lawn making conversation with each other.

A part of her wanted to laugh at herself. She had really lost it.

What she said to Mike was something she'd been holding back for a long time, and even though it was said through tears she was pleased she got it out, she was happy that she was able to say it, admit it. She felt like a failure. So many people said she'd done a good job, she had helped the crew, but really, she felt like her only job since the day Lily was born was to be a mother, and when she saw her daughter's name written, scribbled, on the list of those who'd died from the virus, she felt like she had failed at the most important job she would ever have.

She reminded herself that neither Bill or Lily would want her to live like this, they would want her to be happy. She, herself wanted to be happy, but it was easier said than done.

She wanted a life, a life filled with love, pride, duty, and everything else she valued, she wanted happiness on a daily basis, she didn't care if it came in the form of morning kisses, teenage girl talk, engineers joking, or memories of her baby girls first words, she just wanted happiness.

Standing up straight she wiped her eyes a final time, taking a few more shaky breaths, bringing her heart rate back to a normal rhythm, she smoothed down her uniform, knowing that when she walked out of the bathroom she needed to be as professional as she could.

She wanted to be happy, she wanted to move on with the memories of her husband and daughter.

"They wouldn't want you to live like this, Andrea."

* * *

Back in the room where Mike had originally taken Andrea, he was greeted by his daughters and Tom. All of them sharing the same look of worry.

"Is she okay, dad?" Amy asked, stepping forward, looking between her father and the doorway Andrea had gone through.

"Yeah, sweetheart, she's just having a bad day," Mike told her, standing up, moving to pull his eldest daughter into a hug, before extending his free arm, so Katie could join in too.

"I don't want you to think you have to, but if you would like to, you can go and spend some time at Uncle Tom's, hang out with Ashley and Sam?" Mike knew it would be easier for them to go, not to be out of the way as such, but he knew he needed to get Andrea home, and while she was so upset he didn't think the girls needed to see it, or if Andrea would want the girls to see her like that.

"We can go with Uncle Tom. Ash wanted to show us her new makeup anyway." Katie said with a smile.

Mike looked over at Tom who didn't seem too impressed at the mention of makeup, but at least the girls were happy.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Tom shook his head, taking a few steps into the room.

"Girls, why don't you go find Sasha, Ashley, and Sam, and I'll be out in a minute, we'll finish up here and head home," Tom said to the girls, waiting for them to hug and kiss Mike before they said quick goodbyes.

"Be good, okay." The girls didn't say anything back, instead just heading for the door to go and find Ashley.

There was a moment of silence between Tom and Mike as they waited until they were sure it was okay to talk openly. Mike didn't want to have any kind of conversation about Andrea in the public arena, certainly not about what happened today, and a part of him knew Tom would want to respect her privacy.

"She doesn't understand why POTUS keeps talking about how much of a good job she did when her only job was to be a mother and protect Lily. She feels like she failed, and now with it being the president's favourite line, I think it's getting too much for her." Tom sighed rubbing a hand over his face as he listened to his friend.

"I don't know what to say, Mike. We both know as parents you want to protect your kids; did she say anything else?" Mike shook his head. Tom was right, all you wanted to do as a parent was protect your children and Andrea couldn't do that.

"I'm going to take her home, make sure she gets some sleep. I think today was going to be hard for the whole crew, and I thought she would handle it, she'd been doing really well, since her transfer, and meeting the girls, it felt like a big step forward, I just don't know what to say to her half the time." Mike admitted, sitting down in the chair he'd vacated minutes ago.

Tom sat down in the chair next to him, almost at a loss of what to say. Today was hard, he knew it, Mike knew it and so did the rest of the crew, but Tom knew this wasn't just about today.

"Sometimes it's one step forward two steps back. Who knows, tomorrow you might be on the same path as you were yesterday. Get her home, tell her that it's going to be okay, I'll look after the girls, and before you begin to feel bad about that, don't. They're teenagers, they'll get over it, and besides, I think Sasha is getting a little tired of the impromptu make overs that Ash seems to spring on her." Tom said.

"I thought Cooper was intelligence?" Mike asked with a smirk.

"I think it would take a lot more than the whole US Navy Intelligence Department to work out the emotions of teenage girls," Tom said as he stood up.

* * *

When Andrea walked into the room she gave a smile, it was weak, but it was there. She just hoped Mike and Tom could see she was okay. Although smiling, she didn't think she could deal with the questions, she assumed it was clear to both men that she wasn't doing her best.

"Tom is going to take the girls for a while," Mike said as he stood up. Putting out his hand to take hers.

"Well, maybe Ashley and Sasha will seem a little more excited about makeup than I do." Andrea shrugged.

"Ashley, yes, but I think Sasha is beginning to get a little annoyed with the constant talk of mascara and lipstick," Tom said, watching Andrea for a few moments before speaking up again.

"Look, Andrea, whatever you need, we're all here for you. I don't care if it's extra work, a heart to heart, or just someone to scream at, whatever you need, we're all here." Andrea smiled and nodded, not feeling strong enough to say anything back.

"Let's get you home," Mike said, watching as Andrea nodded. Tom nodded too, leaving the pair of them alone, going in search of his own family.

* * *

"What time will the girls be coming home?" Andrea asked as they navigated their way through the grounds of the White House, heading for the cars. They'd said a quick, but quiet goodbye to members of the crew, and Andrea overheard plans of another gathering of sorts, and although she was drained, it seemed like something to look forward too.

Mike shrugged, he would text Tom later, but Andrea seemed to have other ideas.

"You should text Tom and give them a curfew, I'm sure they'd feel happy that you're letting them walk home alone," Andrea said, before getting into the jeep.

Mike got in but didn't turn the engine on.

"I'm sure they'd love the independence. Now, your place or mine?" Mike asked but instead, silence settled, but it was only for a moment.

"I don't want to go home and cry, I've done it and nine times out of ten it didn't work, so instead, I want to go home, with you and spend some time together before your girls get back. I know domestic home life isn't your thing, but I think we should try it." Andrea stopped, reaching out to take his hand. She knew she looked a mess, she had looked at herself in the mirror on the bathroom wall and told herself that no matter how much cold water she splashed on her face, she would still have red eyes and stained cheeks.

"If this works out I would hate to be living in an apartment with two teenage girls, hosting dinner parties for half the Navy, maybe this would be good practice for the future that everyone seems so set on talking about." Andrea smiled, knowing it would take Mike a while to believe she was okay, and she knew right now she wasn't, but she wanted to at least try.

Mike gave her a look, one of concern and slight confusion.

"I know about ten minutes ago I was close to an emotional breakdown, but if I've learnt anything today, it's that life is short, and we can lose people so easily. I will never be over losing Lily, but that doesn't mean I can't move on. I want to move on with you, and your daughters, and with a dog and a nice house with good jobs that we love doing. I want love and happiness, Mike. I know it is all so sudden…" Andrea was stopped by Mike leaning over to kiss her.

"You know I've been waiting so long to hear you say that." Andrea laughed a little, before shaking her head.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to say it." Mike only kissed her again, not having anything to say, because he was mainly in shock. He had been ready for a while, to move on with her, to be happy with her and his girls, to create a life they both loved. He would never forget Lucas, much like Andrea would never forget Lily and Bill, but she was right, just because they both lost loved ones didn't mean they couldn't move on and be happy.

"I just want to be happy, Mike. I am done with crying and feeling so hopeless. I just want happiness and love and to live with the memories."

Mike leaned over to kiss her again.

"You wanna go home, Captain?" Andrea asked, after a moment, her eyes still red and sore, but the smile was becoming real.

"Yeah, I think me and you could spend some time together before the girls get home," Mike said, waiting a moment so Andrea could buckle up her seatbelt.

"Mike…"

"Yeah?" He asked, glancing over at her as he turned the key in the ignition and began to move the car out of the parking lot.

"I love you."

"Yeah, I love you, too."

* * *

Thank you so much for reading, reviews are loved and appreciated. Bethany.


	30. Chapter 30

**Time to Heal – Part 30.**

So, instead of ending it, I decided to write more, I hope you enjoy this! Mistakes are my own, I'm sorry!

Reviews are loved and appreciated, thank you for all the other reviews, they make me so happy!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.  
**

* * *

The girls had gotten home a short while ago, both of them talking to each other about whatever had happened at Tom's. They both said goodnight to Mike after spending some time sitting in the living area, Mike didn't mind too much, he knew they were beginning to act like normal teenagers instead of victims of the virus.

"Can you girls keep it down, please? Andrea is asleep." Mike asked just before they could disappear into the bedroom they shared. Both girls nodded with smiles before pushing the door closed behind them.

Listening for a moment, Mike wondered how many times he would have to tell them to be quiet in the night, and how many times he would think about a new house in which they could have their own room and their own bathroom. He loved his girls, but he was beginning to get annoyed at the sight of makeup and having to look through various bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash when he was awake and wanted to shower at 5am.

Mike spent a few more minutes in the living area, not doing anything, in particular, just looking around. He could see the kitchen, the laundry that was piled up in front of the machine, the dishes on the countertop that would need washing in the morning, and just the general clutter that the girls had left. It didn't matter how much of a schedule the girls had things would always be left at either his apartment or Christine's and god forbid they were asked to go without it for seven days. Mike hadn't gotten through a week yet where he didn't have to make a trip to Christine's or she didn't have to drop things off at his apartment or at his office.

He looked up when he heard laughter coming from the girls' room, a part of him wanting to go in there and ask them to be quiet, but the other half, happy to let them laugh. It had been far too long since he had heard them laughing, properly laughing. In all fairness, it had been far too long since he had seen his daughters, his real daughters, the ones before the red flu hit, before losing their brother. Over the last few weeks, he had begun to see them again.

The same went for Andrea, he was beginning to see the 'hard as nails' chief engineer he'd met years ago. Way back when he questioned if she could do her job, or if she could handle being on a ship with so many men. They didn't know each other that well, but she had served with them a few times over the years. It was only when the 'Nathan James' shipped out two years ago that he really spoke to her, but she was the chief engineer and not just someone from the engineering department checking the boilers.

If someone had told him years ago that the world would be brought to its knees, he would lose his son before his time, he would get kidnapped while at a nightclub, and would fall head over heels in love with his Executive Officer he would have probably punched the person. There were so many things he would have changed. All the deaths, all the heartache, but there were also some things he wished he could keep if he could do it over. He wished Lucas would still be with them. He would have divorced Christine, but done it properly, just like now, making sure she had all she needed to take care of the three children, then making sure he had a relationship with all three of them. He wished he could still have his own command, it had been something he had wanted for a long time, he just wanted it to be under better circumstances, when Tom was promoted, when the world was still okay, when he was training recruits because they wanted to be a part of the U.S Navy and not because they were pressured into it because they fit some criteria. He also wanted Andrea. He had no idea how he would have gotten there, Andrea and Bill seemed like a happy couple, or as happy as a couple could be with the spouse always shipping out. Or maybe that was how he saw it?

Either way, he wanted to be able to love her. He wanted to be able to meet Lily, in the pictures he saw she looked just like her mother. He wanted to love the woman without the pressure of trying to fix the world, he wanted to love her, and have her be a part of his life and the lives of his children.

"Mike?" He turned around, looking in the direction the voice came from.

"Hey." He said, smiling at Andrea.

She was dressed in one of his t-shirts, she hadn't left much of her stuff at Mike's apartment yet, and since she really didn't want to go back to her apartment, clothing hadn't crossed either of their minds.

"Are you coming to bed?" He smiled, that was what he wanted. He just wished she was asking the question, with his three children sleeping down the hall, in a house off the base, with the world just as it should be, but she wasn't.

"Yeah, I just wanted to make sure Amy and Katie were okay." She only smiled and nodded in understanding.

Mike took a few steps towards the front door, making sure it was locked, before checking all the windows in the apartment. It was a routine he had been set on doing every night since returning home, more so when he had Amy and Katie in the apartment.

After making sure everything was secure Mike made his way to the bedroom. Andrea had already gotten back into bed and was laid on her side, waiting for Mike to join her.

After Mike had changed he slipped in beside her, moving his head down to kiss her lips.

"Hell of a day," Mike said with a small smile.

When they had reached Mike's apartment after being at the White House, the pair had sat on the couch, sharing kisses as they made out like teenagers with their clothes on. Mike didn't know if it was the best way forward, given that Andrea had seemed so upset and distressed, but she wasn't complaining so, neither was he, all he wanted was for them to forget everything else, even if it was only for a few minutes.

"You could say that. I'm glad you were there." Andrea smiled, raising her hand to his cheek.

"I'll always be there, for you," Mike told her, waiting a moment before leaning down to kiss her again.

"Try and get some sleep, love." He whispered, waiting for her to roll over so he could pull her body closer to his chest and wrap his arms around her. He was getting used to holding her, wrapping his arms around her in bed, or wherever they were. Her body was becoming more and more familiar, and he knew that he wanted to get to know all of her, properly.

"What I said about a house…" Andrea whispered, her eyes closed as she settled down to sleep.

"Yeah?"

"I meant it, Mike." Mike smiled, putting his head down on his pillow, inching closer, even though it seemed impossible.

"I know, love."

* * *

Looking over at the clock, Mike held back a groan. He'd only managed to get three hours of sleep. It was just past midnight, and he couldn't see himself settling down again. Instead, he let his mind wander back to what he was thinking about before.

He let his mind drift from thoughts of his marriage then to his daughters, to Andrea, to the mission and just about everything in between. He too had been affected by the award ceremony, as he was sure Tom and so many others had been. After losing so many men, having nearly lost the ship, the fights, the battles, and everything else they had to endure, he wasn't sure any member of the crew felt as though they did a good job. Of course, spreading the cure saved the world, but on the bad days, even that didn't seem like it was enough.

Having seen so many of Andrea's panic attacks, having heard what Rios had said about seeing signs of PTSD in the crew, it dawned on Mike that healing was going to be more about the people than it was about the land and buildings. He knew it, somewhere inside of his mind, he knew people would be damaged from the 'good job' they'd done, but it was only when they got home, when it really sunk in that they were home, that people began to let everything get to them, when it all became real.

Mike smiled a little bit, there were certainly times in which it didn't seem real, it didn't feel real. All the times he laid in his cabin staring at the ceiling in disbelief because something had come up, something worse than what had happened a week ago, at one point he really did believe they wouldn't make it home, he had nightmares for a week about the ship being pulled from the sea bed years from now, the news showing the remains being pulled out of the water, the confirmation that no one had survived.

He wanted to let his mind wandered a little further, but the sound of footsteps outside his room stopped him. Listening for a moment he heard the sound of hushed voices and some more footsteps. Moving off the bed, careful not to wake Andrea he pulled his bedroom door open slowly, looking around until his eyes landed on one of his daughters standing at the sink, trying to fill up a glass of water in the dark.

"Hey…" Mike said, his voice quiet as he flicked on one of the switches to light up the kitchen area.

Amy.

"You okay, kid?" He asked, taking a few more steps forward, helping her with the tap, so she could fill the glass up.

"Katie had a nightmare, but didn't want to get you because Andrea was sleeping." Mike sighed a little but smiled at how thoughtful that was, despite Katie being upset.

Mike moved towards the girls' bedroom, knocking gently on the door, to make sure not to scare Katie before walking in.

He saw Katie on the lower bunk, curled up, hugging her knees. Mike knelt down next to the bed, waiting a moment, his heart breaking as he heard the soft cries of his youngest daughter. Reaching out, he put a hand on her shoulder, hoping she would roll over.

"Katie, sweetheart?" He said, hoping to get a response, shuffling to the side a little to let Amy back into the room. Amy stood next to him, a worried look on her face, holding a glass of water for her sister.

Katie rolled over and Mike's heart broke a little more. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying and tears were still making their way down her cheeks. He moved his hand away so she could move, but after a moment he changed his mind, moving so he could sit on the bunk with her, wrapping his arms around her, kissing her head, telling her it was okay. Amy moved to sit on the bed as well, holding out the glass of water for her sister.

Katie took the water with a weak smile, taking a sip before handing the glass back over.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mike asked gently, not wanting Katie to felt as though she had to say anything.

Katie shook her head and Mike could only nod, before kissing her head.

"That's okay, sweetheart. Would you like me to stay for a little bit?" Katie nodded, as did Amy who was smiling.

"Okay, Amy you wanna jump into bed?" Mike asked, taking the glass of water from Amy and putting it on the night stand.

When both girls were in bed, he pushed the door closed and sat on the floor, letting the room go silent. He knew it was wrong, but he was pleased Katie didn't want to talk. Not because he didn't want to listen because he would sit and listen all day if they needed him too, but more so because he really didn't know what to say. At times, he felt as though he was only making the situation worse.

Tonight, though, he was happy to sit in silence, waiting until the both of them fell to sleep, hoping that no more bad thoughts or flashbacks entered their dreams and they could sleep peacefully, if only for a few hours.

* * *

Getting back to his own room, he waited just before he pulled the covers back on the bed to get in. Tonight, he'd spent so much time thinking about all he wanted to change, all he wished was different, but he realised it wasn't going to be different.

He wanted this to be his new normal. He wanted to see his girls through the nightmares, he wanted to hold Andrea so she could sleep, knowing she was safe. He wanted a house, and a dog, for his girls to have their own rooms, for him and Andrea to be able to spend all the time they could together.

Mike wanted everything that Andrea did, and he was willing to work towards that goal, even if it seemed impossible at times. He had thought about all of the 'what ifs' now, everything he wished was different, but knew it would never be. Now was the time to focus on twenty-four hours at a time, focus on the girls, on Andrea, and on settling into a new normal.

Pulling the covers back a little more, he got into bed beside Andrea, wrapping an arm around her before kissing her head, hoping he would get at least a few more hours of sleep.

* * *

Reviews are loved and appreciated, let me know what you think! Bethany.


	31. Chapter 31

**Time to Heal - Part 31.**

So, I began planning the end of this story today!

Reviews are loved and appreciated! Thank you for all the other reviews, they make me so happy!

I hope you enjoy this chapter.

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

Andrea woke up to the sound of running water, and what sounded like the news station playing on the TV. Sitting up in bed she looked over at the clock to see it was only a few minutes past four. Waiting a moment, she tried to figure out if it was more than one person in the living area, she didn't want to interrupt Mike if he was with Amy or Katie. She felt if the girls were upset it would be best to just have Mike with them.

After a few more moments of listening, she saw the bedroom door open.

"Hey, I didn't mean to wake you," Mike said with an apologetic smile when he noticed her sitting up in bed.

Andrea shook her head, but now she was curious as to what he was doing awake and dressed at four in the morning, more so when he didn't have to work today.

"Has something happened?" Mike only nodded before sitting on the bed, pushing the door closed with his foot, hoping that Amy and Katie wouldn't be woken by the TV or him moving around the apartment, both of them needed their sleep, and so did Andrea, but she had always been a light sleeper, Mike assumed everyone who'd served on a ship was a light sleeper.

"Tom needs me in the office, the President called a meeting." He couldn't word it any other way, he knew whatever he said would cause some level of panic.

Andrea nodded, reaching out for his hand.

"What can I do?"

"You can go back to sleep, I don't think the girls will be up yet. I spoke to Christine, she's coming to get them around nine." Mike said, he would have left the girls with Andrea, but after last night and still not knowing how Christine would feel, he thought it would be best if they went home.

"I wouldn't have minded staying with them," Andrea told him, he only nodded in response.

"I know you wouldn't, but I think it's best they go home, Katie didn't have a good night and I think with me being at work Christine would want them home. It's not personal, love. Maybe you could go and see Rios today, I know he's been concerned, he called Tom to ask him how you were after yesterday." Mike suggested, trying to change the subject a little.

Andrea laid back down, turning onto her side so she could still speak to him, hoping he wouldn't leave just yet. The longer he stayed the more she could convince herself that whatever the President wanted wasn't life-threatening.

"Maybe I will. Alisha also wanted to go out for lunch, so I could always do that. No doubt Kara and Frankie will be joining us." Andrea said, she knew Mike would feel better about going if he knew she would be doing something to keep her busy. It was a universal thing, the more time you had to yourself the more you began to overthink, and Andrea was guilty of it, on more than one occasion, but she was happy to go and see some friends, it had been too long since she'd seen Frankie, and although she saw Alisha most days, she wanted to sit down and talk about something other than the ship, the crew, or a mission.

For once Andrea wanted to sit and listen to gossip. She wanted to know what Kara had to say about parenting and hear Alisha go on about new recruits. She was never really one for get-togethers, but back then she had Lily, and at weekends when she home, her time was spent taking Lily out or having lazy days watching movies and in the evenings, she did her best to spend time with her husband, she never felt the need to have a major social life, she went to the odd drinks party, but her world revolved around her job and her family, she never felt she needed much more than that.

"Well, as long as you're not stuck inside all day, I think going out will be good. I will try and be home as soon as I can." Mike didn't want to assume that she would be spending the night with him, but he hoped she would.

"I won't be. If all else fails, I am sure Moore and Phillips could use some help." Mike chuckled, shaking his head a little.

"Always working." He commented, leaning over to kiss her head, before kissing her lips.

"Try and sleep some more, the girls won't be up yet. I will call you as soon as I can." Andrea nodded, but when he went to move away from her, she pulled him back down to kiss him again.

"Someone seems eager." Mike laughed, quickly looking to the door when he realised how loud he was.

"Someone is making up for all the time she lost while on a ship." Mike chuckled again but agreed that it was indeed a good idea.

"Well, I have no objections to that, but I really do have to go. I will call you later." A final kiss and Mike was gone.

Andrea heard the apartment go silent as the TV stopped playing to itself and she heard the soft click of the front door, and the rattle of keys as Mike locked the three girls in. She assumed he'd checked in on Katie and Amy before he left, making sure both were sleeping soundly, and she would put money on him leaving them both a note to say that he had to work and that he would most likely work something out with Christine about making up for the days they would miss with him.

Andrea only hoped that at some point, Mike would be able to leave and go to work and the girls could stay with her. She often thought about getting to know them, she felt as though the more she knew them, the easier it would be, she could help Mike when they had bad days and start to become someone they trusted, for the moment, she was okay with how things were, but she wanted a good relationship with Amy and Katie.

Andrea wanted herself and Mike to work out in the long run, and a part of that was getting along with his daughters. She knew they were his priority, and she had nothing against it, in fact, she would have probably hit him if he said otherwise.

She just wanted to be someone they felt safe with. Someone they could trust. She wanted herself and Mike to be happy, with a house, a dog, and good careers, she didn't tell him, but she hoped he knew that the girls were also a part of the happy life she was picturing.

* * *

Waking up a few hours later, Andrea glanced over at the clock. Seven. Pushing herself up, she pulled the covers off her body, waiting a few moments for her body to adjust to the temperature of the room. Once she was sure she could walk without shivering, she moved over to the set of drawers although she didn't keep clothes at Mike's apartment, she did make sure she had a pair of jeans and top, just in case.

She showered quickly and then got dressed, before leaving the room she pulled the bed covers straight, and was almost content with leaving them, but her training kicked in and she spent a further five minutes straightening the bed covers and making the room look neat and tidy. Moving into the living area of the apartment, she clicked the TV on, letting the news play while she carried on getting ready, making herself a cup of coffee, happy to let her hair air dry, knowing she needed to be quiet so not to wake either of the girls, but she had stayed before and knew the girls would be up soon anyway.

Just as she was pouring her coffee, just as she was about to get into her morning routine of letting her mind remind her of how Lily wasn't with her, of all the people she'd lost, just as her mind was about to remind her of the hell she'd face, the girls' bedroom door opened.

"Morning," Andrea said when Katie appeared. The young girl only looked half awake, so Andrea didn't expect much of a conversation, but she still tried.

"Would you like a drink?"

"Where's my dad?" She asked, stood still in the bedroom doorway.

"He got called into work, he, um," Andrea put down her coffee mug and before to scan the countertops. "left you a note somewhere, he told me that your mum is coming by to get you around nine." Andrea finished when she found the piece of paper that Mike had written on.

"Why couldn't we just stay with you?" Katie asked after reading the note, putting it back on the kitchen counter as she walked further into the kitchen area.

Andrea gave her a smile and shrugged a little.

"I think your mum just wants you home when your dad is not around, and I think your dad would feel better if you're with your mum, that way if anything happens you know you're in a safe place with people you trust." Andrea wondered if she was making a big deal out of it, she could have just lied, but it didn't sit right with her. A part of her wondered if the girls would care, but the other part didn't really mind, she understood what Mike said, and her words were true as well, if ever the girls had a bad day she wasn't majorly confident in her ability to help them, so it seemed better for them to be with Christine.

"Sounds okay. Maybe next time we can hang out with you?" Katie asked with a smile, which made Andrea feel a little better as she started her day. She knew Katie could have said worse, or nothing at all.

"Sounds good to me. Would you like a drink or are you going to get ready first?"

"I'll go wake Amy and get ready," Katie said, turning back towards her room.

Andrea watched a moment, she felt bad, but either way, they would both be leaving soon, but she did want the time they had this morning to be good. She still had the thought herself and Mike being in it for the long haul and the girls having to adjust to that.

"Would you like some pancakes? I could make some while you and Amy get dressed before you go home?" A smile lit up Katie's face and Andrea could hear movement in the bedroom.

"I want pancakes!" Andrea laughed as she heard Amy's voice, clearly, she was still half asleep, but seemed determined about getting up to eat. Andrea took a few steps over to the girls' bedroom door, almost following Katie inside.

"Good morning," Andrea said, waiting for Amy to sit up in bed, and wake up just a little more, her eyes only open a little, but she had obviously excited about being offered pancakes for breakfast.

"I was just speaking to Katie, your dad got called into work, so your mum is going to come and get you in a few hours, but before then I thought you could both have some pancakes, sound good?" Amy only nodded, seemingly still too 'asleep' to talk, and Andrea didn't blame her, at 14 she wasn't much of a morning person either, Amy had done the important bit, she had made it clear that pancakes were a brilliant idea.

"Okay, you two get ready and I will make a start on breakfast," Andrea said leaving the room, and pulling the door closed behind her. She stopped just outside, partly listening to their conversation, and partly thinking about how odd it felt to be making pancakes again.

She remembered doing it all the time with Lily, and upon returning home, she never thought she would have to deal with half asleep kids, breakfast and a husband who was working again, and even if this was just a one-time thing, she was happy to be able to do it, she was pleased she could feel useful in a personal sense. Of course, being an engineer, she always felt useful in dry dock, but when she was at home, or with Mike she felt as if she was just there serving no real purpose, but this morning, she felt as though she could be useful, as though she had a role in the home. In the family.

This was the kind of normal that both herself and Mike wanted.

* * *

"How were they?" Andrea asked as she moved the plates off the coffee table.

"They were really good! You should definitely make food all the time." Amy said with a smile, picking up her glass of water.

"I will keep that in mind. What about you Katie, were they up to standard?" Katie laughed a little.

"Yeah! I agree with Amy, I mean mum can make them, but she burns them, which is okay, but, not okay." Andrea nodded along, not fully understanding the logic but going along with it anyway.

"Speaking of your mum, are you two all packed up, she should be here soon." Andrea put the dishes in the sink, planning to wash them up after the girls had left. Or potentially tonight if Alisha wanted to meet her earlier than they'd planned.

"Good, please make sure you have everything because I know what the two of you are like!"

* * *

She knew that when Amy and Katie left she would be going to see Doc Rios, really to reassure him that she was okay and that her little breakdown didn't affect her too much, although she did still feel tired, but that was beginning to feel like a constant. With some much going on all at once, she imagined that everyone was tired.

After reassuring him, she was going to meet Alisha and catch up before going to meet Kara and Frankie at the park. Having spoken to Alisha in between making pancakes, she laughed as her impression of Kara, saying how she needed to get out of the house and let Frankie run off some steam before he ruined their living room.

"We're all packed up, and we double check everything." Amy brought Andrea out of her mental planning of the day.

"Good," Andrea smiled. "So, I am not sure when your dad's going to be home, but I think if he can he will see you tonight, but if not then I am sure he will be at your swim session on Sunday, Katie."

Katie nodded and smiled, she seemed to enjoy seeing Mike at her swim sessions, and it was time for Mike to spend some one on one time with Amy as well, while they waited. Then on a Tuesday when Amy had Art Club, Mike took Katie out, they usually got a milkshake and wondered around for a while, talking about whatever Katie felt like. It was nice, it gave Mike one to one time with both his girls, which Andrea knew he'd been worried about. Andrea had been to a few of Katie's ocean swims and had hung out with Mike and Amy, and also had milkshakes with Mike and Katie when she wasn't working, but she wanted that to be Mike's time with his girls, so she tried to stay out of it in the nicest way possible.

Andrea was able to hug the girls before they went down to Christine who was waiting in the car. She knew Mike would have wanted to see them off as well, but it wouldn't be long before he made time to see them again. Andrea was just pleased she was able to spend some time with them, getting to know them just a little bit better.

* * *

It had been about an hour since the girls had left, and Andrea had managed to clean up a little before leaving the apartment. Alisha didn't want to meet until eleven which gave Andrea time to go to her own apartment and sort a few things there before paying a short visit to Doc Rios.

"Commander Garnett, come in," Rios said with a smile when he saw Andrea at his office door.

"Please, it's just Andrea." She took a seat in front of his desk after closing the door behind her.

"What can I help you with?" The office Rios had been put in was big enough. He had shelves, which seemed to be empty compared to what she imagined it was. She imagined before the virus hit the shelves would have been lined with all kinds of medical books and encyclopaedias', but she hoped his collection would grow again, in time.

"I just wanted to come and reassure you that I was okay." The doctor smiled, but there was something in the way he looked at showed Andrea he wasn't convinced.

"Are you sure?" Andrea gave him a look, but didn't speak, she was sure she was okay, but she was okay by her standards, and not those of Doc Rios.

"Are you eating enough? Getting enough sleep? I can run some tests if you like, maybe prescribe something…"

"Doc, honestly, I am okay. I'm eating, maybe not three meals a day, but even before the virus I never ate breakfast, I am never without a water bottle and I am getting 6 hours of sleep, which in my book is plenty." Andrea told him with a small laugh, but still partly thankful that she had someone who would keep checking in on her.

"I would like you to try and get more sleep when possible, but if what you're saying is true, then I am no longer majorly concerned. Besides, I am sure Captain Slattery is taking good care of you." Andrea blushed but didn't have an answer.

She assumed people would always be concerned, but she knew her own body and her own mind, and while she did have bad days, and small breakdowns that seemed to drain her for days she was getting better, she was healing, and above all of that, Rios was right, she did have Mike, who was taking good care of her.

* * *

After her short visit to Doc Rios, Andrea walked the short distance to Alisha's apartment. They had planned to go out for coffee, but Alisha said she would much rather drive into the city then walk. They wouldn't be going far off base, just to the outskirts of the city centre, where Alisha and Kara had found a small café, next to a play park.

After a short time spent at Alisha's apartment while she got ready, the pair were sat next to the window in the café, talking and joking before Kara arrived.

"So, officer Executive Officer of the Nathan James, how does that feel?" Andrea asked before taking a sip of her coffee.

"Honestly, it feels great! However, the only downside is, I am going to miss you so much." Andrea gave her a sad smile before shaking her head.

"Believe me, once you're out there, giving orders, I'll be the last thing on your mind." Alisha shook her head.

"It won't be the same, more so without Kara too," Alisha admitted, but Andrea could see how excited she was about being second in command officially.

"Well, we will be the ones to throw you the best homecoming party ever." Alisha laughed, nodded along, Andrea hoped the comment would make her smile, even if they were not due to ship out of at least another six months.

"I think we should talk about something else other than work." Andrea nodded in agreement, although work was sometimes interesting, Andrea spent so much of her time at work, and with Mike both being in the Navy as well, when with friends she wanted to talk about other things, things that they could laugh and joke about, things that didn't need them to be so serious.

"So," Alisha said, but stopped when the door opened, and she spotted Kara.

"Hi!" Andrea grinned when she saw Kara walk in with Frankie, happy to see another familiar face out of uniform, as well as the little boy on her hip.

"Here, let me take him, you go get yourself a coffee!" Alisha said, seeing how flustered her friend was.

After a few moments of getting Kara a drink, hugs, kisses and getting Frankie to sit in the highchair, which seemed to be his least favourite thing, Alisha turned to Andrea once again.

"So, Kara, Andrea was just about to tell me her love story between herself and Captain…" For the second time that day Andrea felt her face heat up, and she assumed it turned a nice shade of pink.

"It's a pretty long story,"

"Oh, don't worry, we have time…"

* * *

Thank you so much for reading part 31, reviews are loved and appreciated! Please let me know what you think. Bethany.


	32. Chapter 32

**Time to Heal – Part 32.**

Part 32 is here! They say when you don't know where to go with a story kill someone.

(I promise, no major character dies!)

Reviews are loved and appreciated! Thank you for all the other reviews! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I have edited this the best I could, I am sorry for any mistakes!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

Andrea smiled to herself as she remembered the conversation she'd had with Alisha and Kara. Only when it was said out loud, did she realised just how far she and Mike had come since that first night in his cabin, doing paperwork, sharing their thoughts. The one time she didn't actually know why she was there, but it just seemed like the right thing to do.

It was a nice thought to have as she worked within the hangar, one of the submarines had been brought inside, so more work could be done, and so far, Andrea felt it was easier, but still it was going to take some time for the two submarines to be seaworthy again.

"Ma'am, if I could have a moment?" Phillips walked into her office, knocking on the door only briefly.

"Sure, what can I help you with?" Andrea put her pen down, motioning to chairs on the other side of her desk. Phillips took a seat, but the moment he sat down Andrea could see something was wrong.

"I'm worried about Ensign Ryan Cade, He was here when the virus hit and lost his family. I don't think he is coping very well." Andrea nodded in understanding. She looked across at the files that sat on the sideboard, all of them were personnel files of those working in the engineering department.

"Is he aware of the therapy service? Have we given him leave?" Andrea asked, they were the two main answers she had, and normally they worked, well, she hoped they worked. She knew some personnel wouldn't want everyone knowing they were talking to someone about the issues they had.

"Aware of both, ma'am. He's refused both, but over the last few weeks he has become erratic, angrier almost, I am worried about his safety and the rest of the team." Phillips' admitted.

Andrea nodded with a smile, she could see why it was a worry, but right now she was hoping that leave would give the Ensign some time to calm down and get some help should he choose to, but since Tom had promoted her to the most senior in the Engineering Department, she wanted a quick solution, they didn't have the time or personnel to make this a big thing, and she was sure if Ryan Cade was struggling, he wouldn't want a big deal made out of his suffering.

"Okay, thank you for telling me. I will speak to him and try to see what he would like to do. I feel like some leave and possibly someone to talk to would be the best way forward." Phillips nodded in agreement, before standing, updating her quickly on what he and his team were working on, before leaving.

* * *

Andrea called Ryan Cade into her office later that afternoon, she had seen what Phillips was talking about, he was becoming short-tempered, and while Andrea could stand for some of it, knowing that everyone had bad days, more so after the pandemic, she also knew when enough was enough.

She was happy to let those in the department have their fun, as well as have their bad days, and she was guilty of doing both in her years as an engineer, but much like Phillips had said, it was no longer okay when people were in danger. When Andrea had been promoted she made sure everyone was aware that they had every right to feel safe, more so since being at sea and hearing about the death of the President, she knew some would suffer worse than others, which is why she made such a big deal out of the safety of those in her department.

"You wanted to see me, Commander?" Cade said after he knocked on Andrea's office door.

Andrea nodded and waved him in with a smile, pointing to the chairs in front of her desk.

"Take a seat, Ryan." She smiled, it wasn't odd for her to address most of her department by first names, or last names when shouting across the hangar, it was only ranks when Tom or Mike came around, and that wasn't very often in any official capacity, it was more a check-up.

"Ma'am." He said as he sat down, still maintaining posture. Andrea gave him a moment before speaking, getting right to the point, although doing it almost as a mother figure than a CO.

"I spoke to Chief Engineer Phillips this morning, he and also myself have noticed that you are not coping as well as we think you should. I know there is no right way of coping, but we have noticed a change in your behaviour, so I wanted to make sure you understood the help that is available. I understand if you do not want to take leave, but I wanted to make sure you understood the therapy session that you can attend. Group therapy, and also a help group set up by your fellow sailors…" Andrea stopped talking, when Ryan stood up, shaking his head.

"I am fine, Ma'am. My behaviour has not changed and I am coping just fine." Andrea nodded, but still didn't feel right letting him walk out of the office, he didn't seem too angry, but still, Andrea could tell he was frustrated with what she was saying. Like she had gotten it all wrong, almost as if she was speaking about somebody else.

"Sit down, please." Andrea waited a moment to see what the young man would do before she began shouting orders. She didn't think shouting would be the way forward, more so if Ryan Cade was suffering in silence. It was becoming more and more common, and people were requesting time off and also help through the therapy that the Navy had put in place. A part of her was grateful, but the other half was worried. She worried about those who wouldn't admit that they were struggling, out of fear of either coming across as weak, being judged and even because admitting they were struggling would also be admitting that the last two years had really happened.

She considered herself able to talk about it, because she, herself, had been through it.

"I don't need help. If someone has an issue with my behaviour then they should either call me out on it or ignore it. I've done nothing wrong…"

"No one said anything about you doing anything wrong, Ensign. Now, sit back down. This is a conversation that needs to be had." Andrea stood up while speaking. She knew she wasn't too intimidating, but she did hope that pulling rank would work.

"Ma'am…"

"Sit down, Cade," Andrea said, sitting down herself waiting for him to do the same, hoping he would follow her instructions. She was hoping this would be easy, she wanted this to be easy, but she knew there would always be a few of those suffering who didn't want the help offered.

A moment passed and Andrea felt as though she was at a loss.

"I am sending you home. It's clear you are not able to work, so you need to take the rest of the day to decide what you would like to do. If you wish for time off that can be arranged, as can therapy…" Andrea was interrupted but put her hands up to stop the young man from speaking.

"This is non-negotiable." Andrea cut him off, walking to the door, opening it for him.

He walked out in silence, which would have bothered Andrea had she not of known that the young man was struggling to cope. Today she let it slide, she knew from her own personal experience that sometimes you just needed to get the hell out of wherever you were and go home.

As Cade walked away from her office, she heard him say something under his breath, and while she probably shouldn't have, she chose to question it.

"Excuse me?" Cade turned around, and Andrea took a step forward, he didn't seem like a threat, more someone who was just done with the day, and Andrea could sympathise with that. She knew a lot of Commanders had changed, maybe eased up a little on a lot of the sailors.

No one spoke about their suffering, not openly, but people knew, and even if nothing was said, with some people you could just tell they were struggling. Andrea and Mike often spoke about ways to handle new recruits, how sometimes, they felt like therapists and not Commanders, but this was a new world, and everyone was adjusting, it was never going to be like it was before.

"I said I don't need this."

"Don't…" Andrea's voice was cut short by two consecutive gunshots that made her fall to her knees.

It took Andrea few moments to realise she wasn't hurt, and that she had simply ducked out of practice, fear, and the noise. It then took her another second for her ears to begin hearing the shouts and screams of those around her, but what really did take some time was for her to see Ryan Cade's body slumped against the wall on the walkway.

He didn't have a gun. He wasn't the shooter. Andrea could feel her heart pounding and her breathing getting shallower as she forced her brain to calm down, reaching out to the railing, to push herself up, hoping to see the hangar, who was there, who wasn't, who was hurt, but more importantly, who pulled the trigger.

"Commander?" The voice she heard sounded faint, but she knew someone was stood next to her, she could feel a hand on her shoulder.

"Commander?" She looked up to see Alex Moore, one of the Chief Engineers stood next to her.

She nodded, to show him she could hear him, but her brain was still playing catch up, so instead of trying to talk, she just motioned to Moore that she was fine, hoping he would begin to explain what had happened. What had happened in the space of two minutes. At first, she thought Cade was the one to worry about, but she was wrong, maybe Philips' was wrong too.

"Ma'am…"

"We need a head count, now…" Andrea said, looking at Moore who nodded.

"We're working on it. Are you okay? Did you get hurt?" Andrea shook her head, she knew if she'd been hurt she would begin to feel the pain by now.

"What happened? I, I was talking to him, he said he didn't need the time off and I went to question him…" Andrea trained off, taking a breath, looking over at Cade's body still slumped up against the wall. A part of Andrea wanted to call for Doc Rios, he was the only doctor she trusted, but Andrea could see the young man was dead.

"We don't know, Ma'am. Phillips' is doing a head count. Patterson is informing the CNO and we have everyone shutting down all machinery, before moving to wait outside." Andrea nodded again, this time pushing herself up properly.

"We need a medic in here to confirm his death. I need all CCTV, and then I need statements from everyone. I want to know who saw what," Andrea begin to say what she needed, and Moore was just about to walk off before Andrea stopped him. "Who shot him?"

While Andrea was trying to pull herself together and block out the screams, she hadn't asked.

"Amelia Wright, ma'am. Canadian Air Force, she came here in the pandemic and the President was letting people stay. She was working with Sasha Cooper in intelligence. She shot herself after she shot Cade." Andrea turned to look down at the floor, the body of the shooter laid on her side, the gun she'd used had been kicked to the side, but her body hadn't been touched.

"Once you've called the CNO call Cooper. Amelia Wright was under her command." Andrea told him, watching him for a second before he nodded and left.

She turned to look at Cade's body. Utterly confused and shocked. Only minutes ago, he was in her office, telling her how he didn't need leave and now his lifeless body was on the walkway and Andrea couldn't understand why. After a moment, her mind switched to Amelia Wright, who she was and why she was here, but that only lasted a few seconds before her train of thought went to Mike.

Mike shared an office with Tom, and they were both working today. She knew the moment Tom found out he would tell Mike, he would say something had happened. Andrea could say she was fine. She wasn't, but she would be. Right now, she just needed to focus on her people, on the engineers, and those who'd witnessed the shooting. She was their Commanding Officer, and that was the role she needed to take on right now, she could be upset and confused about the whole situation later.

* * *

"No one saw her enter the hangar. She was there for around 3 minutes before someone approached her. By that time, yourself and Ryan Cade were already on the walkway. Seconds later she pulls a gun, one clean shot at Cade, before turning the gun on herself." Sasha said to Andrea.

Tom, Mike, and Sasha, along with various other members of the 'James' turned up, most of them asking if she was alright, to which Andrea gave a short nod.

Mike gave her a look but she shook her head slightly. They could talk about this later, she knew Mike wouldn't ask if she was okay, not directly at least, but they both knew she wasn't okay.

"We don't have enough security, what we do have covers the main building, intelligence and the medical units. The hangar is open all day, most engineers, myself included go back and forth between here and drydock. It wouldn't have been hard to get in, up until now, it was almost a given that, unless you were an engineer, you didn't enter." Andrea said, with a shrug, turning to look at Moore and Phillips' who'd just entered the room.

"Everything alright?" Andrea asked.

"For the most part. Some of the cadets are a little shaken, but Rios and his team are seeing to them. We went through the file, Ryan Cade's parents died in the virus, he has a younger brother, he's ten, called Evan, he's at the school right now." Andrea closed her eyes momentarily.

"Okay, Phillips' stay with the crew, I need statements from all of them. Get Rios to clear them, then send them home, we can resume tomorrow." Phillips nodded, leaving the room. Andrea knew she should be the one going out there and making sure everyone was okay, but she also knew that Ryan Cade was a part of her department and that she needed to be the one to tell his brother.

"Moore, we need to go and speak to Evan Cade." Moore only nodded.

"Andrea, we can do that." Tom said, and Andrea gave him a look, the use of her first name making it personal, which she didn't need right now. Nor did she need it in front of others in the room.

"Ryan Cade was one of my engineers, I take full responsibility for all of those working in this department. So, I am going to talk to his brother." Andrea said with a tight smile, looking to Moore who simply nodded in agreement.

As Andrea left the room, following Moore, she knew Mike would follow her out. Ask her if she was okay, make sure she wasn't hurt, and while she didn't want to talk about it, a part of her felt happy about it. At least he cared, which she knew anyway, but reassurance never hurt.

"Hey," Andrea turned slightly as Mike caught up with her. She nodded to Moore, who carried on walking ahead of them.

"I'm fine, I promise," Andrea told him quickly. She looked at him and could tell he didn't believe her, but she hoped he would start to question her about it, not here at least.

"One minute I am talking to him about leave, and the next minute he's dead. He was so angry, we'd all noticed it, I thought it needed some help, people had raised concerns, I was worried about him and everyone else. He left my office and said he didn't need it, and, I hit the floor, I ducked and stayed there, maybe I should have tried to help him?"

"No, Andrea. It was a clean shot, you took cover, you had no idea what was happening. Sasha is going to look into Ryan Cade, see what may have caused his behaviour, but what happened was in no way your fault." Mike said, and Andrea nodded.

She knew, logically, there was nothing she could have done, but that wasn't going to stop her from feeling as though she should have done something.

"I need to go and speak to his brother, but, I shouldn't be too long." Andrea reached out to take his hand, knowing it was as close as they were going to get.

"I'll see you when you get back, but call me if you need me in the meantime."

"I will."

* * *

Andrea knew it would never be easy telling a young boy his only living relative was dead but she'd done it, and now, she was drained, both physically and mentally, and that this point emotionally too. She was pleased to reach Mike's apartment, and she hoped he would be okay with spending the evening sat on the couch drifting in and out of unimportant and random conversation. It was the girls' week with Christine, and although Amy and Katie were no bother at all, Andrea was pleased not to have to worry about them tonight.

"I was wondering if you'd gone home," Mike said when Andrea walked through the door.

Andrea smiled and shook her head. Truth be told she'd spent 35 minutes sitting on the steps leading up to the third floor, not yet ready to go in and make conversation.

"No, I just needed a minute. Poor kid couldn't stop crying, but his teacher at the school said she's going to look after him, since we don't have social services yet, or any kind of foster group on base. Hopefully, it'll be a little easier, he knows his teacher and they seem to get along." Andrea pulled her hair from the up-do it was in, running her hands through it, but knowing it would still need brushing.

"At least he has people who can look out for him," Mike said with a sad smile, knowing there was not much he could say.

"Would you like a drink? I was thinking after you've had a drink and eaten something we could go to the firing range?" Mike asked, suggesting the firing range, and hoping she wouldn't fight him on it.

Mike had gone back to his office after the incident, but he was no use, he couldn't focus. His mind wandering too far, all the worst-case scenarios playing out in his head, almost like when he heard about the President's assassination and was waiting to hear an updating on his daughters.

"Why would I want to go to the firing range?" Andrea asked, moving to make her own drink, wanting something to do, to distract her slightly.

"With what happened today, I thought it might be a good idea to make sure you're prepared. More so if I'm going to redeploy in the future…" Andrea turned to look at him, raising a hand to make him stop talking, shocked that he would suggest it, but more annoyed at the fact he didn't seem to think she was prepared.

"I am more than capable of using a gun. I don't know if you heard Sasha, but no one saw Amelia Wright until it was too late." Mike nodded, taking a step back.

"I want to make sure you're going to be okay if I'm not here."

"I don't need your protection, Mike. I've never asked for it, besides, when you're not here, you're not going to know what happens, I am more than capable of looking after myself!" Mike took a step forward, reaching out to take her hands, and thankfully for Mike, she didn't pull away.

"I know you are, but while I am here, I want to keep you safe. If Amelia Wright was off by centimetres, that bullet would have hit you." In all honesty, Andrea hadn't really thought about the possibility of getting hurt herself, and really, she didn't want to think about it.

Andrea took a deep breath, before reaching up to wrap her arms around Mike's neck, letting her head rest on his shoulder. He seemed to take the hint and wrap his arms around her waist, kissing the side of her head.

"Mike, I never asked for your protection, all I ask for is your love, your trust, and your honesty. If I can't have those things from you, then I am not sure if this is going to work out. I love you, Mike, but I don't want to feel as though you are my CO before anything else, I want to feel like you're my lover, before all of that." Andrea said, almost speaking into his shoulder, but knowing that he could hear her.

"I just want you to be safe, and happy. I could have lost you today." Mike admitted. Although it seemed like such a simple sentence, it meant so much. Mike was right, she could have been shot today, but she wasn't, and that is what they both needed to focus on.

"But, you didn't. I'm still here, still breathing. Still gonna shout at you for not doing the laundry…" Mike laughed, loosening his grip slightly, so Andrea could look up at him.

"I don't know why I thought this would be easy." Andrea smiled and shrugged.

"Neither do I, but we're both still here, doing the whole relationship thing," Andrea told him, hoping to add a little humour to the conversation. She knew Mike didn't do heartfelt, and although she could, right now she didn't want to.

Mike pulled her back into a hug, holding her close, kissing her hair.

"You're gonna have to stop scaring me half to death, you know that." Andrea nodded against his shoulder.

"I'll try…"

"You want to try saying that again, but like you actually mean it?" Mike asked, again, loosening his grip.

Andrea moved her head off his shoulder and looked up at him with a grin.

"Not at all."

Mike chuckled slightly, leaning down to kiss her, at least for tonight she was okay, but a part of him knew as much as Andrea didn't ask for him to keep her safe, he would always try to, mainly because he was well and truly in love with her.

* * *

Thank you so much for reading. Reviews are loved and appreciated. Bethany.


	33. Chapter 33

**Time to Heal – Part 33.**

Happier chapter right here!

Reviews are loved and appreciated, as are the ones you left of the previous chapter!

I hope you enjoy part 33, we are so close to the end now! All mistakes are my own, so I am sorry if you see any!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

"DAD!" Mike turned to answer the annoyed voice of his eldest daughter.

"Tell Katie to hurry up! I have to leave in twenty minutes and she is still in the bathroom." Mike held back a sigh, looking at his daughter.

He was about to speak when the lock turned in the bathroom door and Katie appeared. Amy only rolled her eyes before she pushed past her sister into the bathroom.

Katie stood for a moment looking at her father and Andrea who was sat on the couch reading through some reports.

"We need a bigger house."

"Do we now?" Mike asked, slightly amused as he sat down next to Andrea. It had taken him some time but he was now getting used to the morning argument over who got to use the bathroom first, a part of him wanting to make some kind of schedule just so the girls could get to school on time without shouting. They were close, but, they were also teenagers, and apparently, makeup and hair were more important than homework.

"Yes. Considering three girls live here, I am sure Andrea's annoyed at how much time Amy spends in the bathroom." Andrea looked up, shaking her head with a smile.

"Don't drag me into this, kiddo." Amy smiled at her, but still gave her dad a look of annoyance.

"Fine, but you agree, Andrea that we do need a bigger house."

"Andrea has her own apartment." Mike pointed out, grabbing his coffee cup off the table. Andrea had put down her pen and was now enjoying the conversation or more like the debate that was happening between Mike and his youngest daughter.

"She practically lives here."

"Okay, first, 'she' has a name, and second of all, don't you need to be getting ready for school?" Mike asked, trying to change the conversation. He knew if he got into it now he would never hear the end of it, although he was hoping it would spark some kind of talk between himself and Andrea about moving, and making everything 'official' as Tom had put it the day before.

"I would be ready a lot quicker if I had my own bathroom," Amy muttered as she walked off to her room.

Andrea chuckled, but Mike didn't seem to find it very funny.

"Well played, Captain Slattery,"

* * *

Andrea was on her eleventh report of the day when Mike came back from taking some files to the office. The both of them had been given a few days off, but all it meant was working from home. Although, it did have its upsides, no uniform, no major interruptions and way better coffee.

"Hey, how's it going?"

"How much money do you think it will cost to put all engineers through handwriting classes?" Andrea asked in a serious tone, but it was clear she was joking as she signed another report.

"More than we can spare," Mike said, putting another pile of brown manila folders down where the previous pile had been. Mike had told Andrea that he wouldn't be coming back empty-handed, and while she believed him, she did wonder just how much paperwork he needed to catch up on.

Silence settled around the pair of them, Andrea reading and signing more forms, and Mike making more coffee. Andrea knew he would need a hell of a lot to get through the paperwork that he should have done weeks ago. Paperwork had never been a strong point for Mike, but it a silly kind of way, it seemed to hold almost a sentimental meaning for Andrea. It was almost how their relationship started, she needed something to do, she needed the company. She remembered how the two of them would sit for hours in silence, broken up by short conversations, jokes, and sighs doing paperwork, passing the time, feeling as though they were not completely alone.

"I've been thinking," Mike said as he sat down, placing two fresh cups of coffee on the table.

"I hear that's pretty dangerous," Andrea smiled, putting her pen down. She hadn't had a break yet and the words were beginning to blur into one, and she was sure her signature was becoming unrecognisable.

"I'm being serious. It's about what Katie was saying this morning. I know you still have your own place but over the last month or so you've barely spent the night there, and I know we've talked about the future and a house and all the rest of it," Mike stopped, he hadn't planned the conversation, but it was a thought that had been running around his mind since the morning routine of 'she's taking too long in the bathroom'.

He watched as Andrea put her paperwork to one side, reaching to pick up her coffee. They had spoken about it, a lot. Both of them wanting the same thing, and they seemed to be on the right track. Both had jobs they enjoyed, the girls had a schedule and seemed to be settled, and better than that, they got on with Andrea pretty well, and Mike wanted to take that next step, but he wanted Andrea to be ready as well.

"I could sell my apartment. I don't own a lot, and it would be a step forward. We would have to find somewhere and we would need to talk to the girls, but I am not against the idea." Mike smiled, at least it wasn't a 'no'.

"I understand if you need time to think." Andrea shook her head.

"Why wait? We've been saying it for months, and now we're both working and we have a pretty stable home life, it might be good to find our own place, and as much as I love watching you trying to defuse sibling rivalry, I think the teenage years are going to be hard enough without the bathroom debate." Mike laughed, nodding. But after a moment he stopped giving Andrea a look.

"I can defuse the situation just fine," Andrea shook her head.

"I love you, I do, but honestly, you are terrible. I have seen you talk down blood hungry pirates better than you can sort an argument between the girls." Andrea told him, before she got up off the couch, moving over to the one Mike was sat on, moving in closer.

"If you want to move and you think it's the right time for the girls, then that's what we'll do. But, I do have a few conditions." Mike nodded, open to the idea that Andrea would want control over the next steps. He wondered how serious she would be, or if that would come later.

"I need a room, or a closet or something for Lily's stuff. I know how pathetic that might sound but I can't just shove it all into a box and put it under the bed. Maybe in a few years I can go through it and put it away somewhere safe, but, but not yet." Mike wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer.

"We can do that. In all fairness, I wasn't expecting you to even entertain the idea of moving, but if we are, then we'll do it together, me, you and the girls."

"Good, because my second condition is paint. I love you, and I love the Navy but I swear to god if you even think about painting something Haze Grey, I will leave you." Mike had taken a sip of his coffee, but nearly choked when she told him about the paint.

"Okay, I promise, no haze grey."

"See, this will all be fine." Andrea smiled, sitting up properly to look at him.

"As long as I follow your orders?" Mike asked, pulling her back down to lean against him, not wanting to go back to paperwork just yet.

"Well, you have our own Command and it seems like fun, I want to give it a go."

* * *

The day passed slowly after that, every time Andrea looked at the clock she was expecting it to be time to finally put the paperwork down and get the girls from school, but it was just past one, which meant she had another three hours before the girls finished art club.

It wasn't a usual thing for Andrea to pick up the girls, but she had promised to take both of them into the city to buy some more stationary, and Mike was happy to let them go. To him, it was a good sign that both girls felt comfortable around Andrea.

"Do you want some more coffee?" Mike asked as he got up again. Andrea shook her head, she was sure if she had any more coffee she would be bouncing off the walls later, she could feel her mind wondering already, and she knew she needed to keep her focus, to get through the stack of files on the floor next to her feet.

"Why don't we go and get coffee from the café just outside the base?" Although Andrea knew it would make her even less determined to finish her reports, she needed some fresh air and a change of scenery.

"Sure, I could use a break." Andrea shook her head.

"You've barely done anything. How did you cope when you were a detective?" Mike only shrugged. Andrea had noticed that it wasn't something he spoke about, but she was curious, she imagined he had some good stories from his time on the force in Baltimore.

* * *

Walking hand in hand had become second nature to the pair of them when they were not in uniform, so did walking in silence, it wasn't that it was awkward or because they had nothing to say, it was more because they were comfortable with just the physical contact.

As they crossed the street, Andrea glanced to her left looking at how many people were walking around, how many kids were playing in the park, how normal this part of the city seemed.

"Hopefully it won't be this busy later," Mike started a conversation, but Andrea only shrugged, it didn't bother her, she was just pleased to be able to spend some time with the girls.

"We don't have a lot to do. I know the girls want some more notebooks and pens for school, and I need to get Frankie something for his birthday, but Kara is no help whatsoever." Andrea smiled at the last part. That was one of the hardest things about kid's birthdays, everyone asking what they wanted, but no one had a clue. Lily either got stuffed toys, pyjama's or vouchers that Andrea would forget about. She assumed for older children it was easier to give them money, that way they could buy what they wanted, but for a toddler, she assumed Frankie wouldn't be very impressed with paper.

"Buy the kid some clothes, every time I have seen him he's either playing in the dirt or he's got food on him."

"I guess it seems like the easiest choice, besides, I doubt he's really going to understand. Kara was saying how he just wanted to rip things apart." Mike laughed, Lucas was exactly the same, he was more interested in the wrapping paper and the boxes than he was the actual gift.

"Christine used to get so annoyed at Christmas, when we used to have both sets of parents come over and siblings, and she had worked so hard to keep the house clean, but the kids insisted on opening all of their gifts and throwing paper and boxes everywhere, and then they wanted to play with all of their toys at the same time, it was chaos."

Andrea nodded in agreement.

"I thought it would be easier, just have the one child, but people would spoil her and, well, after her fourth Christmas, I think I just gave up, from Christmas Eve until New Years, I think the place just looked a mess."

"Can you believe, we have four months until Christmas? Andrea went on to ask, just before they reached the coffee shop, Mike only gave her a look, she was aware that Christmas was not his favourite time of the year, but she was sure she could change that.

* * *

The walk back from the coffee shop was quiet, Mike's phone had rung just as they left, and since the coffee shop, up until the apartment block, Mike had been on the phone to Tom.

Andrea hadn't minded, she was able to let her mind wander a little, knowing that she still had a stack of files to go through. Her mind jumped from one thing to the next, the girls, Frankie's birthday, Christmas, and for some reason the play park.

She wanted to be there again, helping Lily on the slide and watching her play on the monkey bars, Admittedly, Andrea missed the small things, Sunday mornings in bed, movie nights, trips to the park, walking in the rain, camping in the summer, she missed the little things, and she knew that homecomings and birthdays were special, but Sunday morning and movie nights were just the three of them, Bill, Andrea, and Lily, not extended family and 200 other sailors.

"I am beginning to think it may have just been easier to go into work," Mike said after he hung up the phone. By this time, they were halfway up the stairs to the apartment, and Andrea was still partly lost in thought.

Once inside, Mike threw his coffee cup in the bin, and sat down on the couch, looking up when he realised Andrea hadn't done the same. Looking up he saw her stood in the doorway, staring at the floor, looking lost, almost.

"Hey, everything okay?" Mike asked, not moving, knowing that she may have needed a minute. He knew himself that any number of small insignificant things could trigger memories.

"Do you want a baby?"

Mike opened his mouth to give her an answer but nothing came out. He stood up, slowly moving around the coffee table, taking a few steps towards her, not knowing if she was being serious or if she was just speaking for the sake of it.

"I'm not talking about within the next nine months, but, if it happened, would you want a baby?" Andrea finally looked at him, hoping his facial expressions would give something away, but he seemed shocked, and she couldn't blame him.

She hadn't planned to say it out loud, but she had done, and maybe it wouldn't be so bad?

"If it's something you want," Andrea chuckled, shaking her head slightly.

"You know, having a baby, it's kind of a two-person thing, so I need you to want it too. I know, with the whole moving idea, and work, it seems like the worst time ever but I think I want a baby?" Andrea shrugged. She was now beginning to question herself.

She wasn't sure what kind of reaction she wanted from Mike, but maybe because he didn't seem 100% on the idea. She was questioning if she wanted a child, because she wanted a child, or because she thought it would fix things, which, in Andrea's eyes was the worst reason to have a baby.

"Where's all of this coming from?" Mike asked, moving his hands to rest on her hips.

"I have no idea, but I do think, subconsciously, I have been thinking about it for a while." Again, she shrugged, a part of herself not believing the words she was saying.

"We can try if you want to. I mean, I think maybe we should get the whole moving thing out of the way first, but I'm not against the idea of having a kid."

"So, you want to have a baby, with me?" Mike nodded slowly, but he still hoped Andrea could see he was sure.

"Okay, okay." Andrea's face broke out into a smile. She had no idea if anything would come of this conversation, but at least she knew if it ever happened Mike wouldn't hate her for it.

A baby would be a good thing, it wouldn't be a replacement, but it would be something that was theirs, of course, Mike had the girls, but Andrea knew she was not their mother, and she would never try to be, but being a mother was the one thing she missed, and maybe the one thing they needed.

Moving to a new house, thinking about a baby, it was all steps forward in the healing process. A healing process that Andrea had begun to give up on, but a process she knew she needed to keep faith in.

* * *

Thank you for reading, reviews are everything! Bethany.


	34. Chapter 34

**Time to Heal – Part 34.**

Oh, my goodness! This is the last chapter before the epilogue and I am so excited!

Reviews are loved and appreciated, thank you for all the other reviews! I really hope you enjoy this chapter! Mistakes are my own, I am super sorry!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

"Maybe we should have waited a little longer to tell the girls about moving. We haven't actually found a house yet, but they're already packing." Mike stood in the doorway to his girl's bedroom. They'd only been gone an hour or so and although the goodbyes had gotten easier over the last few months Mike hated how eerily quiet the apartment was.

"They're excited! Let them be. Besides, if they're packing now, it means they won't be doing it last minute." Mike nodded, Andrea had a point, but he still thought they should have waited. It was too late now; the girls knew and it seemed everyone else did as well.

Andrea had come home to tell him how some of the crew were already planning a home warming party for them, despite it being their house, and neither of them being 'party' people. Out of the crew, it was normally Tom who would host gatherings.

"A few of the lads from engineering have offered to help with the move. I have to say I trust them. They can move a submarine without damaging it, so I think our stuff would be safe in their hands. They also said we wouldn't have to pay, they just want two weeks leave in July, something about a holiday and women, but I stopped listening half way through." Mike chuckled, turning to face her.

Andrea was stood in the kitchen, cleaning up the mess that was left over from dinner. It had been a few days since they had the conversation about moving and having children, and although it hadn't been brought up, Mike was sure it had been on Andrea's mind. He had wondered if or not to mention it, but he knew Lily's birthday was coming up and he didn't want to cause her any more upset than he knew she would already be feeling.

Tuesday of next week. He knew if Lily were here she would be 12, he also knew Andrea would more than likely push herself into her work, and refuse to talk about it until she could no longer stop herself from crying. As much as Mike wanted Andrea to cope in her own way, he also wanted to help her. He didn't want to have to force her to drink something or keep checking in with her, she was her own person, but it was days like that, when she went into a world of her own, that worried him the most.

"I know next week is going to be difficult for you, so I thought maybe you could take the day off, we could go out or stay here. Whatever you feel like doing?" Mike suggested his voice a little uncertain.

Andrea stopped what she was doing, putting down the plates she was about to put in the dishwasher. Honestly, she didn't think Mike would bring it up, she thought he would just let her be, mainly because she had coped before, but also because he would have known that she dealt with birthdays and anniversaries on her own.

Turning to look at him, she shook her head a little.

"I can go to work. They need me down there anyway, and I've just taken the week off."

"Andrea, they'd understand…"

"Mike, I don't need to take time off, I can cope with it just fine if I go to work," Andrea shot back.

"The last two times you did that you staved yourself for 12 hours and nearly collapsed, I don't see how that's coping. I get it if you don't want to talk about it, but going to work and making yourself ill is not the answer." Andrea turned back around to carry on loading the dishwasher, but Mike saw the tears in her eyes.

Sighing, he moved from the bedroom doorway, over to where Andrea was stood. Once he was close enough he took the plate she was holding and put it down on the counter, giving her no choice but to look at him.

"I didn't want to upset you, but, I'm worried about you. I just want to make sure you're going to be okay, and if you think that's going to be done through you going to work, then go, but I just wanted to put it out there that we can stay here, and you don't have to face everyone else." Mike reached out to put his hands on her waist, pulling her closer, until she gave in and put her head on his chest.

"I want to work. I can't sit here and over think things. I want to be doing something." Andrea moved her head back slightly. "If it makes you feel any better I'll look after myself."

"I'm pretty sure you said that last time, and you ended up getting shouted at by Rios." Andrea laughed, remembering how stressed Rios had been about her going such a long time without food or drink.

"Fine, you can order Moore and Phillips to check in on me every hour to make sure I've drunk something. It might be useful for them too, I don't think they're coping too well since the shooting incident."

"Are you coping okay?" Mike asked. Andrea nodded with a smile.

"I have you, and close to 200 other people looking out for me."

"Yes, you do." Mike agreed.

"Now, if you let me finish the dishes, maybe we can go talk about some happier things, in bed?"

* * *

"Do you ever think about how things could have been?" Andrea began later that evening when the two of them were laid in bed.

"You know, if I had gone to the CNO, or if I had just gone back to my room that night on the 'James'?" She rolled onto her side, so she could see Mike a little better.

"All the time." Andrea smiled at his simple answer.

"I was so confused, and I didn't really know what else I was supposed to do. I didn't realise it would turn into this." Andrea lifted her hand and motioned to her surroundings.

Mike chuckled a little. He had to agree with her on that point. He had no idea that he would fall madly in love with her, or that Andrea would be the only person he would want to see on his bad days, or that she would be the woman he slept next to, the woman he loved.

"I think, for a while, the both of us were looking for some kind of comfort, and we found that in each other. I never really expected much from you, but even just sitting together doing paperwork, it was better than sitting alone." Andrea told him, propping herself up on her elbow.

"You made it better for me," Andrea added.

"How'd you work that one out?" Mike asked, reaching out to hold her free hand, resisting the urge to pull her down against him.

"You made healing bearable. I was in so much pain, physically, mentally and emotionally, and I came to you for support and before I could really understand it I was falling for you, and the moment I began to fall, the healing, the dealing with the hurt and heartbreak, it became a little easier. I had you there to help me, and all of a sudden there was a small part of me that felt like I could make it through the hell we were in."

Mike smiled a little, he had no idea that was how Andrea felt, but he assumed there was a lot from that time that he still didn't know, no matter how much they spoke about it, no matter how much Andrea cried, and Mike comforted her things would always be left unsaid, but even now, he was happy to hear them, not because any of it was positive but because she felt comfortable to bring it up.

"You never told me that. I think at first, I was being your CO, and then after seeing you on Lily's birthday, after watching you push yourself into work, I think I stopped seeing you as my XO, and more a friend. Then, I, I started to fall in love. I had all of these things going on in my head, the ship, the crew, Tom, finding my girls, wondering if my marriage was still intact, wondering if my family were still alive, but, you were this clarity. At first, I didn't understand it, but a part of me knew that if I didn't have my family, at least I would have you there for support."

"When did you start falling?" Andrea asked a smile on her face, now intrigued. Mike was not a man who opened up about his feelings, so when he opened up without being forced Andrea knew it was real, and now she wanted to know exactly when it was that he stopped seeing her as his XO and started to see her in the light he did now.

"When you said you would help me find Christine and the girls. You were in so much pain, yet you said you wanted to help me, and I think I spent most of the evening trying to convince myself that it was wrong. I knew that I needed you, we were both there for each other and I needed your support as much as you needed mine, but I think that night I realised I needed you in a completely different way."

"Is that why you were so calm when I kissed you?"

"I've never been so happy to see someone break the rules." Andrea laughed, leaning down to kiss him. Mike wrapped both his arms around her, pulling her down, so she was almost laid on top of him.

"We've got one hell of a love story," Mike said.

"Now all we need are some kids to tell." Andrea shot back.

Mike nodded.

"Yes, we do…"

* * *

The next morning Mike woke up first, looking at the clock he knew he could wait another five minutes before getting up, but he also knew coffee would be a better use of the free time before the alarm. Moving out of bed, he wondered if he would ever get used to the sight of Andrea asleep. It was the only time she looked genuinely at peace, her hair was covering her face, one hand under her pillow and the other holding the covers to her chest, she looked so calm and so beautiful.

They'd never slept together on the ship, they'd only kissed a few times and even then, it was quick, rushed, almost like it was nothing at all. So, to see her now, in his bed, looking peaceful and calm, Mike knew it was a sight he would never get tired of seeing.

Moving into the kitchen, he began to make himself a drink, checking his phone to see if either of his girls had text him overnight, before reading the few emails he'd been sent while asleep.

He had a few from Tom, all about procedure and upcoming meetings. Normally Tom would be the one to email him at eight, a little after he'd gotten into the office, but Mike knew Sasha was training new cadets down south, so the fact the emails were sent just after two that morning didn't surprise him at all.

Putting his phone down he carried on making coffee for himself and Andrea, before walking back over to the bedroom.

Andrea was sat up in bed, waiting for him to get back, knowing he would have made a drink for them both.

Mike handed her the mug in silence before placing his own on the nightstand, wanting nothing more than to get back into bed and waste the day away talking, but knowing that they both needed to go to work.

"How bad do you think it would look if I called in sick?" Andrea asked, pushing the covers off her body, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

Mike turning slightly to answer her, pulling out his uniform.

"If you need the day off then they can't really argue with it." Andrea picked up on the slight worry in his voice, but chose to ignore it, only shaking her head, not knowing if he was still watching her.

"As nice as it would be, I have too much to do. That, and I wouldn't want people to know you were worried about me. I would hate for the cadets to know you actually have a heart." Andrea said as she stood up, walking around the bed, heading for the door, to begin her morning routine.

"Well, I thank you for keeping my reputation intact," Mike said as she walked passed, waiting for her to stop so he could kiss her good morning.

"I know Sasha isn't back yet, so I didn't know if you wanted to invite Tom over this evening. I would hate for the kids to have food poisoning." Andrea said changing the subject although her last statement more of an afterthought.

"Tom can cook just fine."

"You said that about your cooking." Andrea shot back as she walked out of the room.

"I can cook!"

"Of course, you can, dear," Andrea shouted from the bathroom, before closing the door behind her.

Mike only chuckled as he carried on getting ready, waiting for Andrea to reappear so he could make his case. He knew he would never win, but since the virus, he could no longer do serious mornings. He knew the moment he got into the office everything would be serious, so whatever chance he had at making jokes and laughing with Andrea and the girls he took it.

"Hey, that reminds me. Next week, the girls asked if they could have some friends come over. I said I wanted to check with you first." Mike said when he noticed Andrea walk back into the bedroom.

"It's fine with me. I think I might be working longer hours next week. President and CNO want the 'Nathan James' back in the water, so I think myself and some of the others are going to pull in some overtime, try and get it done. Plus, when the cadets come back from basic training, I have some of them coming into the department and as much as I trust Moore and Phillips' I want to be there as well." Mike stood and listened, watching her get dressed as she explained her week.

"I am up to date will all of the paperwork, or as up to date as I can be so I think today and tomorrow will be finishing up on the 'James' and getting the ship out of dry dock, and next week we'll be running all of our tests and checks, and then the rest of the week will be all about the submarines. Oh, and I have a meeting with the CNO on Friday about more ships coming in or something like that. As much as I like Tom I wasn't really listening, it was 7am on Saturday and as much as I love working as an engineer, I do not need to be listening to it at 7am, on a weekend." Andrea turned around, looking at Mike for the first time since coming back into the room as she gave her explanations.

Now fully dressed, she picked up her coffee mug, and finally took a sip.

"What?" Andrea asked when she noticed Mike was staring at her.

"Have I ever told you how good you look in uniform?" Andrea blushed, but only a little before nodding.

"I am sure you have, but I wouldn't mind hearing it again." Andrea took a few steps around the bed to 'his' side of the room, putting her coffee mug down on the nightstand, before reaching up to wrap her arms around Mike's neck.

"Although," Mike started, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I don't know if I like you naked just a little better." Andrea smiled, leaning up a little more so she was able to kiss him.

"Well, maybe tonight I can help you decide?"

"Sounds like a plan, I look forward to it." Andrea kissed him again, but just before she could pull back, Mike pulled her back in, wrapping his arms a little tighter around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer.

"I have to go," Andrea whispered, hating that she had to kill the moment.

"I'll see you tonight," Mike said, letting his arms drop to his sides.

"You will indeed. I love you and I'll call you later." Mike nodded as he watched her go. Waiting in the bedroom for a few minutes as he heard Andrea move around in the kitchen and grab what she needed before the front door opened and closed within a few seconds.

Mike moved into the living area, sitting down on the couch. He knew he should have left and gone to work early and made a start on his ever growing to do list, but he could spare a few minutes.

Reaching into the pocket of his dress blue uniform he pulled out a small square box. Opening it he looked at the small ring inside. He knew it wasn't much, but he didn't think Andrea was the type to wear an oversized ring.

He knew he still needed to speak to the girls, to him it was the most important thing to get their blessing, and hopefully, if they liked the idea of their father marrying again he would find the right time to ask Andrea.

He hoped she would say yes. He wanted a life of happiness and laughter, and he wanted that all with Andrea and his girls, even though he knew how uncharacteristic it sounded for him. Getting to call Andrea his wife wouldn't heal everything, but it would be another step forward. It would be another step to one day waking up and not being hurt and confused about everything he'd been through.

Pulling out his phone, he scrolled through his contacts landing on Andrea's name and pressing the 'call' symbol, waiting for her to answer.

" _Hey, are you okay?" He heard Andrea ask._

"Yeah, I'm good, I just wanted to say I love you."

" _I love you too, Mike. Are you sure you're okay?" Mike chuckled._

"I'm fine, love. I'll see you tonight when you get home."

" _You will. Now, don't forget to put your work persona on before you leave the house. I would hate for people to think you have a heart." Mike laughed, wanting to argue with her, but he was content listening to her voice and her laughter._

They said goodbye before both hanging up.

Mike took one last look at the engagement ring before putting it back in his pocket.

Maybe how Andrea felt applied to him too. She had told him in bed that he had made healing bearable for her. Maybe, underneath it all, underneath what Mike thought was personal strength was Andrea.

Andrea made healing bearable.

* * *

Thank you very much for reading part 34. Reviews are everything, so let me know what you thought! Bethany.


	35. Chapter 35

**Time to Heal – Part 35.**

Welcome to the end of 'Time to Heal.' I have really enjoyed writing this story, and I hope you guys have enjoyed reading it! Now, I am free to go and watch season 4 of The Last Ship.

Reviews, as always, are loved and appreciated! All of your reviews for all 34 chapters have been so lovely and encouraging!

This chapter is very up and down, and what I would say is very 'real-life' but hopefully still as good! All mistakes are my own.

I hope you enjoy the final part of this story! Happy endings all around and I hope to write more of these two soon!

 **Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

Three years later.

Five years. It had been five whole years since Rachel Scott embarked on a journey that would end her life, but save millions.

Five years ago, today, Andrea took one last look at her daughter before stepping onto the Naval Destroyer that would become the most famous in modern history.

Five years ago, both Mike and Andrea step foot on the Nathan James, nothing more than colleagues. Nothing more than the Executive Officer and Chief Engineer aboard another Military Ship on a training mission in the Arctic. Neither of them knew that five years later they would be married with a family.

"What are you thinking about?" Mike interrupted Andrea's thoughts as he walked into the master bedroom of their home. A house which they brought not long after Mike had proposed. A house that was now a part-time home to two teenage girls and a baby that was only a few months old.

"Everything. I can't believe it's been five years since I said goodbye to so many of the people I loved. I know I shouldn't dwell on it, not now we have a family, but, five years ago today I stepped onto a ship, preparing myself for six months at sea, not the end of the world."

"The world didn't end, love," Mike said, walking up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist as she looked out of the window. There wasn't much to see, the house overlooked the street they lived on, on a sunny day you could see a little further, but Andrea wasn't stood looking at the view.

"But it came damn close." Mike chuckled lightly, nodding in agreement.

"You are allowed to think about her. Lily, I mean. Just because we have the girls, doesn't mean Lily is forgotten about, or any less of your daughter. She will always be your little girl, no one can take that away from you. I just wish I could help you remember the happy times." Andrea turned around in his arms, smiling up at him.

"I know. I think about her all the time, but today, it's just bigger, I suppose. With the memorial service and the parade. I know it's good for people, but all I want to do is stay home and forget about it." Mike nodded, taking a few steps back to sit on their bed, pulling her down so she was sat on his lap.

"I know you do, love." Andrea cuddled further into his chest, and Mike didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her once more, holding her close, spending a few moments in silence.

Mike had proposed only two weeks after buying the ring. Getting the girls blessing a few days before, of course, on the condition that they could both be bridesmaids, which Andrea had insisted on. They had decided to put the wedding on hold for a year, just until they could find a house and get settled, which seemed to take longer than expected with everything going on. At first it was trying to get the girls to settle in, which meant for the first seven weeks dealing with the girls waking up each night crying and screaming after having nightmares, then Mike was faced with potentially being redeployed again, and that was before Andrea was tasked with running the entire Engineering Department on her own after Phillips' took time off and Moore was deployed to the Atlantic.

The wedding was a small affair. Andrea didn't want to be the centre of attention, and Mike would have happily got married in their backyard if it meant he could call Andrea his wife. Instead, they settled for one of the reception rooms in the White House. Even though it sounded grand the room was filled with just close to 100 people, which both Mike and Andrea considered small after being on a ship with 200 other people. Andrea swore it was one of the best nights of her life, and while she would have happily spent it with Mike and the girls, she was also happy that she and Mike got to spend it alone.

Having a baby was something they'd been discussing for months, but life had other plans. It had taken Andrea such a long time to adjust to the fact that she wouldn't get pregnant straight away, and it took a little longer to realise that she would once again become a mother when she did get pregnant. It wasn't an easy pregnancy but she managed to get through it, and the little girl they were blessed with was worth every minute she'd spent throwing up.

Just as Andrea's thoughts switched to the little girl, she could hear her small cries across the hall.

"I can go," Mike said, but Andrea smiled, shaking her head.

"Don't worry, I've got it."

* * *

Madilyn was just reaching five months old and she was every inch the miracle her parents needed. Smaller than most, Rios had reassured them that Madilyn would grow in time, which was something else both parents had to adjust to.

Walking into the nursery, across the hall from the master bedroom, Andrea beamed at the sight of the small infant wriggling around in her crib.

"Oh, my goodness, someone had a long nap!" Andrea reached down to pick her up, placing her against her chest before kissing her head, talking to her as if she would reply.

She spent a few minutes kissing and cuddling the tiny baby before moving around the nursery picking out various outfits she could put her daughter in, trying to decide which one was right for the service and the parade.

"Do you want to wear a dress? Huh? I think you'll look beautiful, let's try it on." Andrea continued to talk, unaware of Mike stood in the doorway, smiling at the sight in front of him.

* * *

Mike would admit to anyone that he never pictured his life like this. He assumed everything up until the pandemic was normal. He met a girl, got married, had children and worked. He knew each marriage went through rough patches. He'd watched his own parents fight, and separate, only to get back together days later. He thought he was living a 'normal' life. Of course, the pandemic changed all of that. It changed the way he thought, the way he felt about everything, and sometimes he wondered about how his life would look had he of not found Andrea. Or if his girls had died.

He didn't let his mind wander too often, but sometimes just enough to make him realise how lucky he was. He had three beautiful daughters whom he would protect with his life, a wife who was way out of his league but loved him anyway and an ex-wife he could now call his friend.

Mike often spoke to Tom about life now. How they were both lucky to be able to move on. Mike was remarried with a baby, and Tom was the same. On the good days it was only the memorial wall on the Naval Base that reminded people of the pandemic, but of the bad days, it was everything from a storm, to a grave, to the sound of the cadets at the shooting range. Mike tried his best not to let those days get to him, but much like Andrea, sometimes all he wanted to do was stay home, stay in the perfect little world he and Andrea had created over the last four years.

Andrea was his everything. He knew that he shouldn't put his happiness on one person, but he couldn't help it. Andrea had been there for him, and she was the person he had grown to trust, and then grown to love. He believed it was why they worked so well. Because before they even began to fall for each other, they'd seen one another on both the good and the bad days. Falling for each other was almost like a bonus to a friendship that was saving their lives. They needed each other, and when Mike was really being honest, he knew that was never really going to change.

* * *

The military parade was something that Mike hadn't wanted to attend. He didn't mind the memorial service, he knew he wanted to pay his respects, but the parade was something he and Andrea could have done without.

"You didn't bring your wife?" Tom walked up to him with a smile.

"I could say the same about you, but I think I have an idea of where they might be," Mike said, tilting his head in the general direction of the White House.

"Babies make a great excuse to get out of almost anything," Tom said with a laugh.

Mike was pleased neither of them had to be serious. It had been a long week, and Mike was pleased for the jokes between them. Something that had never changed over the years.

"What about Katie and Amy?" Tom asked.

"It's Christine's weekend. I hear Katie is here with her friends, but Amy, is with a boy. Christine said he's nice, but she never gave me a name. Andrea promised to take her out and interrogate her next week." Tom laughed, raising an eyebrow, and taking a sip of his beer.

"I'll take that as Andrea's going to take your kid out shopping to talk. Come on, Mike, she's a teenager, she's nearly sixteen." Mike gave his friend a look, and Tom took the hint and changed the subject.

"Speaking of your wife, have you told her yet?"

"I thought we had a rule of not talking about work on a weekend?" Mike asked, avoiding the conversation he knew he would end up having.

"This isn't about work, this is about Andrea." Mike looked at him in mock shock but shrugged it off in the end.

"Funnily enough, with a five-month-old, and two teenagers to look after, I haven't really found the time to give her, what she will see as the worst news of her life." Tom gave him a sad smile.

"I would change it if I could, Mike. Redeployment was always on the cards, and this is only four months." Mike nodded, taking a sip of the beer, he was holding. He was about to shoot back some sarcastic comment, but he saw his wife walking towards them and decided against it.

"Hi, Sir."

"Come on, It's Tom. I thought you would know that by now." Andrea smiled, before shrugging.

"Force of habit." Andrea turned to Mike. "This one is getting a little tired, I was thinking of heading home," Andrea said, looking down at the little girl in the stroller who was whining and restless.

"Maybe you're right, babies make a great excuse," Mike said to Tom who only nodded before excusing himself, walking off to speak to some other sailors.

"You wanna get out of here, Mrs Slattery?" Mike asked with a smile.

"I couldn't think of anything better…"

* * *

"Well, I think she is out for at least a few hours." Andrea said, walking into the living room, with a mug of tea in one hand and the baby monitor in the other. Putting both items on the coffee table, she sat down next to Mike moving as close as she could before he got the hint and wrapped his arms around her.

"Good, it'll give us some time to talk," Mike said, the moment he spoke he could tell his own voice was different, so it didn't surprise him when Andrea sat up properly giving him a look. Almost as if she was pleading with him not to give her any bad news.

"I've been speaking to Tom, and the President, long story short, is that I may be redeploying," Mike said, watching her carefully as his words sunk in, he knew there were other ways of doing it, other ways of breaking bad news, but he also knew Andrea would want it straight, as much as she was going to hate it, it needed to be said. Nothing would change the guilt he felt over the subject.

"Okay." Mike gave her a look.

"Just 'okay'?" Mike said, almost as a question, but a statement as well. He was half expecting something more, he was expecting her to either get upset or just walk out, but instead, she let herself cuddle back into his side.

"I don't want you to go, but I think you know that," Andrea said, but Mike could tell she was struggling.

"Love,"

"Don't try and explain yourself, believe it or not, I understand, I'm in the Navy too, you know," Andrea sighed before continuing, not waiting to go into the 'I'm okay' routine right away.

"I want you here, one because I haven't actually lived without you for the best part of four years and two because of Madilyn. You said, with Lucas and the girls that your biggest regret was being away all of the time, I don't want it to be the same where our child is concerned," Andrea paused, sitting up again, this time cupping his cheek.

"But, Mike, I won't ask you not to go, and I won't guilt trip you about it. You'll have your own command, and I know how much you love what you do. I knew this was on the cards, I think a part of me has been waiting for it, and with all of the cadets and all the meetings, I think deep down, I knew they'd ask you…" Mike was partly shocked, but like Andrea, deep down they both knew this could happen, Mike could ship out, hell, Andrea could have even been transferred, although it was unlikely, it was something they never spoke about.

"It's four months. It's just a training mission for the cadets. After that, I promise I won't be shipping out for a while. If we had someone else to do this then you know I would have said no, for you, Maddy and the girls." Andrea smiled and nodded.

"I know, but right now, I don't want to spoil the day, or overthink your deployment." Andrea looked at the baby monitor, before looking back at her husband.

"Madilyn is good for at least another three hours, and we don't have to worry about the girls coming home. What do you say we use our time wisely? You can make it up to me for leaving again?" Mike gave her a look that showed that he was completely onboard with what she was suggesting.

"Why don't we take this upstairs?" Mike suggested.

"Lead the way, Captain…"

* * *

Days passed and Andrea seemed to adjust to the redeployment well. She knew she had another week or so with Mike before he left, but instead of dwelling on it, she decided to do something positive. She also knew this would be good for her. She had been seeing a therapist since she got off the James, she felt as though she went straight from the bridge to a doctor's office, but it was useful to have someone to talk to every other week.

The truth was she needed to learn to live without Mike. He had promised her on their wedding day that he wouldn't be going anywhere, but she knew the middle of the Atlantic wasn't included. She also saw this as a good time to spend time with her baby and also become used to the fact that Madilyn would be okay without her.

"So, I spoke to Katie, and we have both decided to split the week. Because Katie does a few more extracurricular activities I will pick Mads up on Monday and Wednesday and then Katie will take her on Fridays just for the hour while you debrief with the cadets. I know you don't work a Friday, but it will save you having to take Mads down to Dry Dock, and if we do this now, then we're in a routine for when Dad goes away." Amy said as she helped Andrea with the dishes after dinner. Mike was sat at the dinner table with Maddy in his arms, with Katie next to him playing peek-a-boo, and although he knew at some point they would have to talk about childcare arrangement for Madilyn, he really wished they didn't have to do it tonight.

Andrea only worked part-time on a Monday and Wednesday, and even then, she was home by three, ready to greet the older kids on their weeks with Mike. For those two days for the last month Kara had taken care of Maddy while she worked, and sometimes Mike would leave the office early and take her home, but even with Mike shipping out, Andrea wasn't aware anything would change.

"You know she is going to be staying with Kara, right? I can pick her up after work," Andrea said, pulling her hands out of the sink, to look between her two stepdaughters.

Mike gave a weak smile before he turned to Katie.

"Here, go take Maddy into the living room." He said, handing the infant off to Katie before he looked at Amy to include her in what he was saying. Waiting for both girls to leave before he started talking to Andrea.

"Mike…"

"Look, it's not a done thing, but Kara may be returning to active service. I don't know all of the details yet, but if she does then Maddy will need to be put into the daycare programme. I know it's not what you want, but…" Andrea cut him off.

"I spoke to her last week, and she said it was all fine." Mike nodded, standing up from the table, moving a few steps closer to his wife.

"I know, but Maddy will be fine in daycare, it's only two days a week, and for a few hours on a Friday afternoon. The staff have been vetted by us, it's still on the base, the centre has round the clock protection, nothing will happen to her." Mike watched Andrea as he spoke, he knew it would be a shock, and he also knew how apprehensive Andrea was about letting someone else look after Maddy, more so on the bad days. She would tell Mike how she had already lost one daughter, she couldn't lose another.

After a few moments of silence, Mike still didn't want to speak. He wanted to give Andrea time to take it all in, although he didn't want to make it a big deal, he knew it was.

"Okay. Fine, I mean, it'll only be for a few hours and if she's getting picked up…" Mike smiled, nodding, almost in a reassuring way. He knew Maddy would be fine, he also knew if anything happened he would potentially reassign whoever hurt her to the depths of hell.

A moment of silence passed. Andrea ran a hand over her forehead.

"Why am I overthinking this? Every other kid I know goes to daycare…" Andrea said, looking at Mike who took a few steps forward, pulling Andrea gently into his arms.

"It's just for four months and then when you get home we can sort it out between us. You know, I am okay with you going, well, I am not, but I am coping, but I can't get over the fact she will be nine months old when you get home." Andrea went on and Mike chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I know, they grow so quick, I am relying on you to send me video updates."

"You'll get them at every chance I get. Hopefully, it may help the time go a little faster." Mike moved his head to kiss Andrea's head before leaning down further to kiss her properly.

"Come on, leave the dishes. I leave in a week, and I want to spend as much time with my girls as I possibly can."

"You'll love being out there, surrounded by other males, instead of having four hormonal females to deal with." Mike pulled her in a little closer.

"Believe me, I would choose you over them any day of the week."

* * *

As the time for Mike to redeploy got closer, Andrea found herself coping more and more. She would let Mike take Madilyn in the middle of the night, a part of her wanting sleep, and the other half wanting him to spend time with the baby girl before he left for four months. While Andrea, Katie, and Amy understood, Madilyn would not.

Tonight, was no different, Mike got up when he heard his youngest daughter crying, and for the first time in a while, he was pleased to see Andrea was still asleep.

While Mike was in the nursery, walking up and down, trying to sooth the five-month-old in his arms, he had a few moments to think about whatever came to mind without being interrupted. Thinking about the next four months, and then onto the next four years. The next four months would be a challenge, although it would become a new normal, both Andrea and himself knowing he would have to ship out at some point, it still hurt like hell to leave his family behind. More so after last time, after he lost so much.

"You're going to be so big when daddy gets home," Mike whispered before kissing Madilyn's head, watching as her eyes as the got heavy. He carried on waking up for another few moments, wanting to take in the moment, knowing that not being able to hold her close while at sea would almost certainly break him.

"Daddy loves you so, so much, Maddy." Kissing her head again, he put her back down in her crib, knowing he would be up again in a couple of hours. That would be another thing Mike still wouldn't be used to. When he got home, chances were, Madilyn would be sleeping through the night, and while it was good for both the baby and Andrea, it would also be hard to sleep without worrying about her.

Leaving the nursery after watching his baby sleep for a few minutes, he walked back to the master bedroom, smiling at the sight of his wife curled up on her side of the bed, hopefully, sleeping peacefully. This was what he had wanted, this was what he and Andrea spent such a long time talking about, he was happy that everything seemed to be falling into place.

The same went for his redeployment. He wanted it. He wanted it in a few months from now when Maddy was a little older, but he still wanted to serve his country and have his own command. He was lucky that Andrea also understood that. The Navy played such a big part in the breakdown of his marriage to Christine, that a part of him worried it would be the same with Andrea. However, whenever he voiced his concerns, they were met with a smile and a kiss and a reminder that Andrea had served on the same ship as him and was more than aware of the lifestyle that sailors lived. Mike knew she wasn't happy about his redeployment, but he was grateful that she wouldn't try to stop him or hate him for it in the long run.

Getting back into bed, he pulled Andrea closer to his body, holding her close, telling himself that he was going to miss her like crazy. As much as Andrea had admitted that she hadn't lived without him for four years, he couldn't say he was any different.

* * *

The day Mike left was a day that Andrea tried hard not to think about. There had been no big send off on the docks, instead, it was all done before sunrise, and for once it was the only time both Katie and Amy were okay with being up at 3 in the morning.

Andrea remembered so clearly how close Mike held her, how many times he kissed her. How long he hugged Katie and Amy, telling them how he loved them, and how he would be checking in on them to make sure they were both on track with all their school work. He had held Maddy for a while, bouncing her up and down, and Andrea knew it would throw the kid out on her schedule, but just this once she didn't care.

She didn't know how many times they'd both said, 'I love you' but she knew it was way over 50 times in the space of twenty minutes before he left the house. Although Andrea, Katie, and Amy seemed strong as they waved him off, they would all be lying if they said tears were not shed when they walked back into the house, Andrea and all three of the children, cuddled up on the couch sobbing. It was only a four-month training mission, but it was always going to be hard, but somehow, they would all get through it.

* * *

"Guess what little miss, daddy comes home today!" Andrea said as she tried to get her daughter dressed. She had turned nine months four days ago, and was already crawling, or at least trying too with a little bit of help from her older sisters.

Andrea had made a point to write down every little thing that had happened. The minute Mike left she had gone to the store to buy three separate notebooks and three separate photo albums, and each day she would write about the girls, giving Katie and Amy's notebook to Christine when it was her week, and to Andrea's surprise Christine seemed happy to do it, saying how it was a good idea. She also, with the help of Christine, took photos of the girls every day.

In her mind, it was a way of Mike being able to catch up on all he missed without leaving anything out. She'd noted all of the trips to the park, all of the illnesses, all of the milestones Maddy had reached, all of the sleepovers the girls had. Andrea asked the daycare staff to write down all Madilyn had done in daycare, but that was more for both parents.

"We have so much to tell him! You're sleeping through the night, you're crawling, you're eating solid food, and you've made loads of new friends at daycare, huh? What else can we tell daddy?" Madilyn let out a small squeal as Andrea tried to put on her sock, laughing at her daughter, Andrea leant down to kiss her forehead.

"We can tell daddy how much you don't like socks. But, little one, we need them otherwise your toes will get cold, and we can't have that can we?" Andrea put the left sock on and smiled at the cute outfit Madilyn was wearing.

Kara had brought all of the younger kids 'welcome home' shirts for when the crew got back, and Andrea had put Madilyn in that shirt with a skirt and some leggings that seemed to fit pretty well, and would also keep her warm. Although Andrea wouldn't admit it, she was more than pleased when she was told she would be having a baby girl, as cute as boys were, she wanted a little girl to dress up, and after leaving her for an hour or so with Katie and Amy it seemed she wasn't the only one.

"Girls! Come on, let's go, otherwise, we'll be late!" Andrea had picked up Maddy and walked to the bottom of the stairs to shout Katie and Amy.

"We have a doctor's appointment in twenty minutes! We need to go now if you want to get a Starbucks on the way home." Andrea said after she got no reply for either one of them. Waiting to hear movement upstairs before she carried on picking up and putting things away.

"Why do we have a doctor's appointment on the day dad gets back?" Katie asked, walking down the stairs, still putting her hair in a ponytail.

"Well, we all needed check-ups and this was the next appointment. Besides, your dad doesn't dock until this afternoon, so we have time to get checked out, grab a Starbucks, swing by your mums to pick up the school books Amy forgot and clean up a little."

"I forgot my school books because I was being nice. Mads was crying, she needed to come home." Amy shouted from her room.

"Mads was grumpy because someone decided to put her hair in a bow and she didn't like it. You had plenty of time to grab your books." Amy walked down the stairs, finally ready with a smile on her face.

"But she looked so cute!" Andrea nodded in agreement, looking at her daughter in her arms, who seemed to be mesmerised by the sunlight patterns on the floor.

"Right, both of you, come on!" Andrea said, hurrying the girls up, but not before hugging them good morning.

"Can you believe dad is coming home today?" Andrea heard Amy say to her sister in the kitchen.

"No, like, four-months was so short, but so long at the same time. When he comes back I'm going to hug him for a week." Andrea smiled at Katie's response, hanging in the hallway a little longer to hear what else was said.

"I know me too. You know, I think we should give Andrea a break too, and get dad to take us and Mads out for a bit, and then, we can take Mads and let dad have some time with Andrea."

"But, we can do all of that after we've hugged him for a week."

"Yeah, definitely hug him first…"

* * *

It was a strange sense of pride and nerves as Andrea stood on the dock looking up at the 'Nathan James'. At one point she wasn't sure the engineering department would ever get her back to sea, but they had done it somehow. The nerves were for Mike. She had missed him so much, she had coped, but there had been many nights where she just sat on the floor in the living room, watching the front door, wanting him to walk back in. She knew if told anyone they would assume Mike was never coming back, but she still couldn't get over the fact that, before he left, she had relied on him for four years.

Andrea knew she would cry. The sight of her stepdaughters running to hug their father. Then at the huge smile on Mike's face when he spotted Madilyn. She had been worried about Maddy, if she would cry, or how unsettled she would be, but it seemed as though Maddy was certain about who her father was. Andrea was the last person to hug him, but she didn't mind, it was nice to see him with the kids. Hugging Katie and Amy, having so many questions for them, but settling on 'I love you', the way he took Maddy, holding her to his chest, kissing her head, letting a few stray tears fall.

The welcome home they never got last time.

They spend most of the afternoon with everyone, the rest of the crew, watching as everyone reunited with their families, Andrea had spoken to the engineers on board, happy to hear their stories, seeing a lot of herself in the new recruits, happy to be home, but proud of themselves for the work they'd done. Jokes were shared and everyone was laughing, but all Andrea wanted to do was go home. She wanted to spend time with her husband, she wanted the girls to spend time with their dad, it had been a long four months and she knew they all had so much to tell him.

She had survived four months without the man who practically saved her life, and while she was proud, she was so happy he was home.

* * *

Mike spent the evening with the girls, looking through the notebooks and photo albums that Andrea had made. He sat on the floor, watching as Maddy tried to crawl and grab onto things, as well as listening to Katie and Amy talk about school, friends and whatever else came to mind.

Mike hadn't zoned out completely, but he did take a minute to look at his family, his girls, and his wife. It meant everything to him to serve in the Navy, and he had enjoyed having his own command, but he was pleased to be home. Although his next deployment would be six months, he knew it would be slightly easier. This had been the first time in a long time that he had been away from his family, he was just happy to be back at home, being a father and a husband.

* * *

Laid in bed that night, after the girls had gone to bed and Madilyn had gone down, Andrea had spent some much-needed time with her husband.

"How much paperwork do you need to catch up on?" Andrea asked as she got into bed, after pushing the bedroom door closed.

"Too much to think about right now, love," Mike replied, waiting for Andrea to get into bed, so he could hold her close.

"Bring it home, we can sit and I will keep you company, just like old times." Mike chuckled but nodded anyway. Andrea had always been good company, maybe this time around their conversations would be happier than they were five years ago when she walked into his cabin, completely and utterly lost.

"I did some thinking while you were away…" Andrea started, propping herself up on her elbow to see him a bit better.

"Do you want more kids? I know, they will never replace Lily and Lucas, but would you like to try for another baby?"

"Do you really hate your job that much?" Mike shot back, and Andrea punched him lightly in the arm, giving him one of her glares, before smiling a little. There was Mike she knew and loved.

"If you want to, love. I have no objections to that." Andrea wanted to make a comment, but she didn't want to ruin the moment, and this was also a serious conversation. Maybe not one she should have been having on the night he got home, but it had been on her mind since before he shipped out.

Silence settled around the two of them as Andrea laid her head down on the pillow again, cuddling closer to Mike, letting him wrap her arms around her.

"You keep saying you're okay, and that you've been okay, but how are you really, Andrea?" Mike asked in a whisper, before kissing the side of her head.

It took Andrea a moment to answer, but when she did she looked up at him with a smile.

"I'm healing."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Definitely, still healing."

* * *

Oh my gosh, I cannot believe that is the end of that! I really wanted to bring it full circle, hence the last line, but I hope it was good and you enjoyed it! Longer than all my other chapters! Please let me know what you thought, reviews are loved and appreciated! Thank you for all your support with this story! Bethany x

I would really love to write a spin-off from this story and go into more depth about Mike's deployment and explore both his and Andrea's emotions and of course, add in their newest addition and life as a married couple. So, let me know if it's something you would like to see!


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